Do you remember, as a child, looking up into the sky and asking yourself the question, "Where does space end?" Nobody other than a physicist can come even close to answering that question, and even they have difficulty explaining what, if anything, lies beyond the theoretical end of space. For most of us, the concept of that end is inconceivable, and I humbly count myself in this number. Surely something, probably more space, lies beyond. Maybe it's heaven. Perhaps the end of space is the Pearly Gates. As ordinary human beings, we are generally restricted in our thoughts to that which we can see, hear, and touch. "We see the stars, we hear the rolling thunder," we can touch the rain. Our sight is limited to the three dimension of height, width, and depth, so naturally when children look into the night sky that first great philosophical question concerning the depth of space occurs to them. Modern physicists agree that there are probably 11 dimensions, possibly more, and multiple universes. Please excuse me if I can not quite wrap my mind around that concept, but I am going to attempt to address a fourth dimension, time.
I remember sitting in a middle school science class, and hearing Mr. Barnes explain how Albert Einstein had come up with a theory about time and space. According to Mr. Einstein, time and space are interwoven into a kind of fabric, and that light, other matter, and time itself can be manipulated, warped, slowed, or even stopped! He called it the "General Theory of Relativity." Woah!
Flash forward to a scenic two lane highway in North Mississippi, a couple of weeks ago. I like to sing as I drive, and I especially like "old timey" hymns. I was in the middle of "When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder" when I was halted in mid-verse by a sudden thought. Heretofore, I had assumed that only the most gifted among us could grasp the concept of the end of time itself, and that only in the context of some sort of gigantic cataclysm of a hugely destructive physical nature, like a Black Hole or a Supernova. I don't know how I missed it all those years, but here, in the simple words of one of our most beloved gospel tunes, was the evidence that theologians, preachers, song writers, and just plain folks have possessed a grasp of the time/space concept long before physicists put it to a mathematical equation.
Ok, so terminology such as "the trumpet of the lord", or the morning dawning "eternal, bright, and fair" don't exactly qualify as empirical scientific terminology; and I firmly believe that pure science is one way in which God reveals to us specific snippets of his mind, in increments that He feels we can handle. I use the word "specifics", because I am also of the opinion that the basic concepts concerning time and space have already been revealed to us, albeit on a level which we can all understand.
As Christians, we are all taught that there is a heaven, and that there is an eternity. Space and Time. When we reach Heaven, our eternity begins. We can throw away our watches, because we won't have schedules or deadlines to meet. We won't need Inspectors or Realtors, either, or even a roof over our head, although the idea of having a mansion is a nice thought. My point is simply this: at that point in "time" when we reach the proverbial Pearly Gates, whatever their construct may be, time, for us, will simply stop. A further point is that no matter how much is revealed to us concerning the specifics of time and space from a scientific point of view, that simplest of concepts still holds true. James M. Black wrote "When The Roll Is Called Up Yonder" in 1893, long predating Einstein's theory or the subsequent theory of Quantum Mechanics, and essentially addresses those same issues of time and space....only in a manner which any child can understand.
So, we can all take comfort. Whether we are bombarded by gamma rays, or blasted into "oblivion" by a rock from space matters not. If human existence on this third rock survives until the Andromeda Galaxy and the Milky Way become inextricably intertwined, the basic fact won't change. We may become colonizers of the universe, folding space and utilizing worm holes to get from one galaxy to another in the blink of an eye. But for us as individuals, when our mortal existence comes to an end, we will have come full circle, and time shall be no more.
As an old Mississippi State Bulldogs Athletic Supporter, I have made many a trip to Starkville, Ms in my lifetime, and over the years I have noticed some distinct game personality traits unique to the fans of individual SEC schools. Now, this is likely to raise a stink with some folks, so let me toss in my disclaimer at the beginning. And bear in mind that these viewpoints are from a Bulldog perspective. A fan of another school my have an entirely different impression. In other words, the following observations are entirely the subjective opinion of the author. I will rank the several schools' fans in that subjective order, from the worst to the best. Also bear in mind that I may be just a bit prejudiced against some schools.
1) Ole Miss. Ole Miss fans are an odd mixture of doctors, lawyers, spoiled frat boys and flannel shirt-wearing local yokels. There does not seem to be much in between. The locals and frat boys are the most obnoxious, and are often in cahoots with fight-provoking behaviors like sitting in the first row, and standing for the entire game whether there is anything particularly exciting going on or not. When politely asked to take a seat, they will simply stare at you with toddy-bloodshot eyes. This is a common behavior at away games. Only the threat of being tossed over the upper ramparts, or, worse, escorted out of the stadium by security, will deter them. They do that stupid "Hoddy-Toddy" thing whether they're ahead by 14 or behind by 20. After the game, especially after a loss (which is often, these days), these same yokels enjoy walking down the ramps slowly, spreading out so as to make it difficult to pass them, Hoddy-Toddying all the way to the ground and beyond. In that part of the crowd that is mixed, no polite discussion of the game or individual players is possible.
As for the doctors and lawyers, they don't really give opposing fans too much trouble. They spend liesurely time before the game camped out in The Grove, discreetly sipping on Toddys, grinning from ear to ear. Most of the lawyers make maximum use of their time running for the legislature. The few professionals among them who are not doctors or lawyers are busy networking, doing things like prospecting for clients among the doctors and lawyers to sell securities or stakes in limited partnerships of all sorts. They are all extreme critics of the coaching staff, whether they've ever played a snap at any level or not. That's why they pi$$ed in their collective Toddys and ran David Cutcliff off back up to Tennessee.
2) Auburn. Auburn fans, to a man, are much like the Ole Miss frat boys/local yokel bunch. Their station in life doesn't seem to matter much when it comes to being obnoxious. Auburn fans like to come into your house as if they are the owners, and you are a mere tenant. They are loud, and their insults are often of a personal nature. Lots of them get whupped up on, especially on the road. They like Toddys almost as much as Ole Miss fans. Actually, they prefer Pabst Blue Ribbon, but this is most often not available, and can only be smuggled into the stadium under the dresses of their girlfriends. But this approach makes the beer hot, and if there is anything an Auburn fan hates, it's hot beer. Can't say I blame them for that. One thing that underscores my point concerning Auburn fans is that they actually like Tommy Tuberville. Nuff sed.
3) Alabama. These people are the walking defintions of the word "arrogance." They tote around those big foam hands with the index finger stuck up regardless of their position in the rankings. They still sell those funny hats like The Bear used to wear at all the games. For some inexplicable reason, most of them carry around their own roll of toilet paper and an empty box of Tide detergent. Something about hygiene, I guess. One particular tradition, started by The Bear himself, is the Faked Injury play. Alabama coaches pull this out of their hat whenever time is short, and they are out of time outs, and they are behind. Inevitably, they will send in some lacky on a play whose job it is to get into the pile and come up "injured." Of course, it is always of a nature that the trainers have to come out and minister to him for two or three minutes, thereby providing the team with a non-deserved time out. At the appropriate time, the injured player will miraculously jump up and jog to the sidelines. They tried that in Jackson in 1980. I know they did, because they sent in a guy with a perfectly clean jersey in the midst of a drive which would have won the game with mere seconds left. Unfortunately, Johnny Cooks ran over the center and right guard from his middle linebacker position and caused a fumble which the Bulldogs recovered with 4 seconds on the clock. I must tell you all, it was extremely gratifying to see those foam fingers pointed at the ground, and those smug looks turned to something akin to shell shock. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving bunch.
4) LSU. There is no detering this bunch, especially in Baton Rouge, where they get a three-day head start on obnoxiousness. The party usually starts on Wednesday evening, and continues well into the wee hours of Sunday morning. The particular combination of the consumption of vast quantities of wine/beer/old charter/vodka/cognac/gin/whatever and red beans and rice makes going to games in Baton Rouge an experience akin to something like attending the world wino convention in the world's largest tin pan alley. By game time, those not needing assistance to get to their seats are itching for a fight, and will give you one at the drop of a bottle of Mad Dog 20-20. I must say that they appear to reserve a particular wrath for Ole Miss fans, and to their credit usually treat Mississippi State fans fairly well, often sharing their red beans and rice and other Cajun goodies with us, and in turn we feed them ribs and chicken leg quarters at baseball games. For some odd reason which I've never been quite able to put my finger on, we seem to understand each other.
5) Florida. Florida fans are like a bunch of spoiled kids. Even before they started winning championships, they thought they were supposed to. Spurrier spoiled them especially well, then broke their hearts. They get all pokey-lipped when they lose. Having been witness to a generous helping of success against the Gators, I know this to be true. They travel well, usually in high-end motor homes bought with all that tourist and spring break money. On the road, they are tolerably well-behaved, but going to The Swamp is like stepping into a high-humidity hell. Seemingly sane individuals turn into blathering, foaming at the mouth ogres, and they will gleefully step on you while you are down. Oddly enough, they will then help you up and offer you a fruity concoction.
6) In no particular order, Arkansas, Kentucky, Vandy, South Carolina and Georgia. I have visited all these venues, and of course attended many games in Starkville when they were the guests of the Bulldogs. The only distinction I can make is that the South Carolina and Georgia folks seem to enjoy an inebriating beverage a bit more than the rest. They tend to be knowledgeable and fairly congenial folks for the most part, and of course Vandy's long and painful experience in the art of losing makes them especially endearing to State fans.
7) Tennessee. I have to hand it to the Vols. Whether at Neyland or somewhere else, these are the most knowledgeable, happy, friendly, and gracious fans the SEC has to offer. They will not step on you when you're down by 21, instead complimenting you on the better qualities of your team. They are rarely inebriated. One can feel entirely comfortable sitting among them, and they do not feel that orange and maroon are conflicting colors. Even when they lose to you, they smile. They understand there will be another game, another day.
8) Mississippi State. Ditto everything I said about Tennessee. Unless, of course, you don't like the sound of clanging cowbells.
I thought some might be interested in some pics of a log cabin I inspected recently. For reasons that will become obvious, the client declined the full inspection after one trip around the exterior. Rotate pics 1, 3, & 5 to the right in yer head. The title of this blog was the title of the listing. Can you say...moisture? Mold? Bulldozer?
Well, I have strained my brain thinking of something that all realtors and home inspectors have in common, and I think I've come up with it: Fear of lawsuits. Once I honed in on that, what followed was a cognitive leap past ethics, and I came up with this:
The Lawyer's Prayer
The law is my meal ticket, I shall not want,
It alloweth me to lie down in greenbacks,
It leadeth me to easy investments,
and restoreth my bank account.
It guideth me in the paths of litigation
for my own sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of tort reform,
I shall fear no legislative action,
For the Trial Lawyer's Association art with me.
The Law! It prepareth a large class-action suit settlement before me
In the presence of mine adversaries.
It anointeth my head with arrogance,
my bank account runneth over.
Surely continuous litigation and large contingency percentages shall follow me
All the days of my life,
And I shall dwell at the courthouse forever,
Amen
Disclaimer: The above passage is satire intended for entertainment purposes only, and is in no way intended to disparage, slander, libel, harm or otherwise raise the ire of any individual (especially lawyers) or organization (especially BIG law firms). The author concedes that there are many, many lawyers out there who do not do it for the money, and who would actually prefer to do all their work pro-bono, were it not for the need to make a living, and who would be more than happy to bill at much, much lower rates were it not for pressure from certain other colleagues. The author further recognizes and concedes the fact that we actually need lawyers to zealously guard The Constitution and keep the stock market afloat by investing all that extra cash.
It seems to me that the more I see out there, the more I become convinced that the level of carpentry skills has gradually been decreasing. Short cutting, inability to accurately cut correct angles in roof construction. I am speaking mainly of general framing skills, as custom cabinetry and trim work remains good, generally, though I do see a lot of "iffy" base and crown work. My Dad and Granddad both took pride in every cut. Just because it wouldn't or couldn't be seen made no difference. Both of them could run perfect hip framing without a hitch, and it would be tight with a capitol "T". I'm just wondering what you guys are seeing out there, or if (Lord forbid!) this is a regional thing.
I'm ranting about this!!! Are there no crews left who can run good hip framing? Can no one even run a straight cut of OSB without mangling the material? Without valleys waving in and out? What in Moses is going on!!? Are basic math and hand-eye coordination no longer required skills on the job site??? Or am I just too much of a stickler? I need validation, guys!!
In today's economy, many people have become energy conscious. In order to save on those monthly energy bills, homeowners have come up with some creative ways to seal off their homes from the elements. Unfortunately, some of the common methods being employed are actually detrimental to the health of the home, and do little to accomplish the desired end. One of those methods is closing off or covering the crawlspace vents in the curtain wall.
It seems to make sense. Here in the south, insulation is rarely installed under the floor of a home with a conventional foundation. Our warm climate does not dictate the necessity. But in the winter, the idea of cold air circulating under your house makes you shiver, and that first winter energy bill makes you shudder! So, you reasonably figure that closing off those "pneumonia holes" all around the house will keep some of the warm air in, and the cold air out. Right? WRONG!
Closing off crawlspace venting does little for your bottom line on heating or cooling bills, and may have serious repurcussions as well. The purpose of all those holes in the side of your home is to allow air flow. The purpose of having air flow in your crawlspace is to prevent the accumulation of water vapor. The purpose of preventing this accumulation, in turn, is to prevent actual structural damage, discourage the growth of molds which may be detrimental to your health (especially small children!), and to encourage wood destroying insects to look elsewhere to establish a colony.
"Oh, come on!" you say. Surely a little water vapor can't do all that!! After all, we live in a humid climate here in the South. Humidity is everywhere. Yes, that is true, but here is what happens: When you close off those vents, you trap whatever moisture is already in the air under your home. The humidity is increased every time it rains, especially if the drainage around your foundation is inadequate in areas. Eventually, the floor joists and girders, even the masonry piers under your home become saturated with moisture. Molds love the combination of wood and water. The damp, cool soil is an invitation to termites.
I have learned over time to put on my high-tech filter mask when entering a crawlspace that has been sealed off in such a manner. Why? Mold. Depending on how long venting has been compromised, I expect to find joists and girders that are damp or even wet to the touch, with molds and fungi visible on the surface. I don't want to breath in spores that can make me sick! In addition to that, joists can become bowed, weakening the home's strutural integrity. Think about this. When a craftsman want to curve a piece of wood, what does he do? If you've ever re-caned an old chair, what do you do with the caning material to make it pliable? That's right you soak it! That is exactly what happens when you trap water vapor under your home! The process is much slower than immersion, of course, but the end result is the same. You create weakened wood structural members that are slowly bowing and rotting. Your kids start to have respiratory problems, and you don't know why. Eventually, shoring up floors with extra piers and girders, or having to get rid of mold becomes an expensive proposition. Suddenly, a few (and I do mean a few) saved bucks on an energy bill looks like a bargain.
So get out there and yank off those neatly cut plywood planks you stuck over those holes four years ago! If you don't have it already, make sure there is a plastic vapor barrier covering the ground under your crawlspace. Check out your drainage around the foundation, and make sure that roof drainage and surface water is moving as quickly as possible away from your foundation. You can pat yourself on the back when you don't have to take out a second mortgage to fix a terrible mistake.
There's a new group on Active Rain catering to all things Southern. Come and share your recipes, memories, and Southerness. For displaced Southerners, it's the next best thing to coming home! And you folks what's Yankees, well, Y'all are more than welcome to come and share some Southern hospitality! We'll all sit out on the porch and have a glass of iced tea. We won't pick on you just because yer a Yankee. As a matter of fact, Y'all probly gon' thank you done died and gone to heaven! But like a lot of other things, it only works well when we share through our posts. So come on in, say hello, sit a spell.
"Mama, go git a bunch o' them straight chairs from out'n the shed--we's got company comin' !"
Moisture intrusion is by far your home's worst enemy! Moisture can attack a home from any location imaginable and cause damage to wood structural members, masonry, flooring, wall coverings, stucco, roof sheathing and covering, exterior siding....the list goes on and on. Moisture intrusion inside walls, basements, attics or crawl spaces can lead to toxic mold growth. Moisture retained under or near the base of a slab foundation can be an invitation for termites to set up shop. Often, damage goes unnoticed until the remedy becomes very expensive; but there are steps a homeowner can take to ensure that potential damage from moisture intrusion is minimized.
There are three main areas to consider in "moisture-proofing" your home: Foundations, exterior cladding, and roofs/attics. Careful attention to and maintenance of these areas can save you tons of money--either directly out-of-pocket, or in equity when and if you decide to sell your home. Today we will discuss foundations, and what you can do to correct moisture problems, or help ensure that they don't develop.
Let's start with slab foundations. Take a walk around your home. Ideally, do it during or immediately following an extended period of rain. Does water pool anywhere near the foundation? Has a small trench developed under your eaves where there are no gutters? Does water pool there? Water pooling anywhere near the foundation has the potential to percolate into pockets of soil that may be of a lesser density than surrounding soil. This has the potential to provide a ready water supply for wood destroying insects. In extreme cases, settling and cracking of the foundation may occur, especially during extended dry periods. That's because the water pocket that had been present dries up and leaves a void, and the dead load of the home overwhelms the ability of the foundation to support it at that point.
Ok, you say...so what to do? Find a way to divert the water away from the foundation. Install gutters with splash guards to prevent downspouts from eroding depressions near the foundation at ground level. If there is an entire area of your lawn that holds water, or drains very slowly, flexible corrugated pipes attached to the ends of downspouts and directed underground to a lower point on the lawn may correct the problem. But be sure to keep your gutters clean, lest the system becomes clogged! Install screens over the gutters, and keep debris from collecting at the eaves over the gutters. Other methods include simply shoveling a shallow ditch or creating a berm to redirect runoff...you lawn will quickly grow back over the "scar." If you have "trenching" caused by the lack of gutters, install them! If you have a lot which is sloped in such a way that runoff simply overwhelms an area, you may need to call in a professional to install a French drain.
Excess moisture retention in or around the outside of crawlspaces of conventional foundations can cause the same problems, plus other calamities such as bowing/weakening of floor joists or the growth of toxic molds. Use the same methods referred to in the above paragraph to investigate problems and solutions around the outside of a conventional foundation. Then, grab a good flashlight, slip on some coveralls and crawl under your home. Ideally, there should be a vapor barrier....a sheet of plastic 6mil or better in thickness to prevent water vapor from condensing under the home; this is not always absolutely necessary, however, IF your crawlspace is properly vented. Many homeowners mistakenly seal or cover the vents around the perimeter of the curtain wall, thinking it to be an energy conservation measure. In our Southern climate, sealing vents saves little or no energy, and has the potential to do much harm. If you are concerned about energy, better to install batt insulation under the floor system.
So, is the ground wet under the crawl space? Are there unlevel spaces where water has pooled? If these conditions are present, make sure all the vents are open to allow adequate air flow. There should be one square foot of vent space for every 150 square feet of open crawl space. Have a vapor barrier installed. Installation of a vapor barrier reduces the vent-to-crawlspace ratio from 1/150 to 1/1500. Take steps to ensure that runoff from around the home does not enter the crawlspace.
The handy homeowner, with a little research, a little investment, and a little sweat, can usually correct most problems or prevent conditions from adversely affecting the structural integrity and equity of his/her home. I hope this article has been informative, and in a later blog we will discuss the exterior of your home, and what you can do to keep good ol' H-2-O from becoming YOUR enemy. In the meantime, visit my website at www.sherlockhomeinspects.com for a wealth of great information!
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
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