Ed and Dorothy - 03/31/10 12:48 PM
Ed and Dorothy met while on a singles cruise and Ed fell head over heels for her.  When they discovered they lived in the same city only a few miles apart Ed was ecstatic.  He immediately started asking her out when they got home. Within a couple of weeks, Ed had taken Dorothy to dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, movies, and museums.  Ed became convinced that Dorothy was indeed his soul mate and true love.  Every date seemed better than the last. On the one-month anniversary of their first dinner on the cruise ship, Ed took Dorothy to a fine restaurant. While having cocktails and waiting … (12 comments)

Flame Thrower - 03/29/10 02:09 PM
I thought this might be good for a caption contest.
 

 
This is actually a story about a gentleman who modified his scooter, with an anti-tailgating flame thrower operated by the flick of switch. Sounds like a good idea but he was arrested on suspicion of possessing an object converted into a firearm!  Whatever next!!!!!!
… (13 comments)

Drunk Again! - 03/26/10 03:24 PM
 
 
 
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Did I Read That Correctly?? - 03/25/10 01:39 PM
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a Memphis department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER COFFEE BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE COFFEE POT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARDOutside a secondhand shop:WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN! Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESSSpotted in a safari park:ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY … (12 comments)

Proxy Error - 03/22/10 11:13 AM
So, is anyone else getting these messages?? Or is it just me?
Proxy Error
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server.The proxy server could not handle the request GET /action/agents_secure/my_home.
Reason: Error reading from remote server
If anyone can shed any light on this I'd be really grateful.
Thank you all so much!
… (10 comments)

Proxy Error - 03/22/10 11:12 AM
So, is anyone else getting these messages?? Or is it just me?
Proxy Error
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server.The proxy server could not handle the request GET /action/agents_secure/my_home.
Reason: Error reading from remote server
If anyone can shed any light on this I'd be really grateful.
Thank you all so much!
… (0 comments)

Proxy Error - 03/22/10 11:12 AM
So, is anyone else getting these messages?? Or is it just me?
Proxy Error
The proxy server received an invalid response from an upstream server.The proxy server could not handle the request GET /action/agents_secure/my_home.
Reason: Error reading from remote server
If anyone can shed any light on this I'd be really grateful.
Thank you all so much!
… (1 comments)

Safety Warning! - 03/22/10 11:01 AM
For anyone who has ever considered scuba diving, this safety tip is crucial so I am passing it on to everyone I know. Please could you pass it on to the people  you care about, relatives, friends and other agents of course!
 It is important they are made aware  of this danger. Please do not ever, ever, ever..........
.

FART IN A WET SUIT!!!!!

… (6 comments)

Corpus Christi Symphony Orchestra - 03/21/10 04:16 PM
So, as many of you now know, I get the opprtunity from time to time to take a break from real estate and enjoy the other love of my life........performing on stage with a symphony orchestra.
Coming up on the 17th April I will be back in Corpus Christi with Frederica Von Stade, one of the truly greatest opera singers of all time. If any of you are in the area please don't miss this opportunity of a lifetime.
Look forward to seeing you there!
 
 

… (3 comments)

Very Sage Advice - 03/21/10 03:41 PM
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONEUNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND TOLD HIM.
'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.''Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the psychiatrists. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears...''How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied theDoctor. 'I'll sleep on it,' I said.Six months later the doctor met me on … (9 comments)

The Train Ride - 03/21/10 03:37 PM
Sitting together on a train, travelling through the Swiss Alps,were a French guy, an English bloke, a little old Greek lady, and a young blonde Swiss girl with large breasts.
The Train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.When the train emerges from the tunnel, the French guy has a bright red, hand print on his cheek. No one speaks.The old lady thinks:The French guy must have groped the blonde in the dark, and she slapped his cheek.The blonde Swiss girl thinks:That French guy must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and … (6 comments)

Corpus Christi Symphony - 03/11/10 09:48 AM
Well, I'm off to Corpus Christi this weekend for a concert with the symphony orchestra. If you are in the area, please feel free to come along and enjoy a wonderful night out!
 
March 13, 2010 at 8:00 pmPerforming Arts CenterTexas A&M University - Corpus ChristiEdgar Meyer, double bass Mozart - Symphony No. 35 (Haffner) Bottesini - Bass Concerto No. 2 Falla - El Amor Brujo Meyer - Bass Concerto No. 1
Considered to be the best bassist alive and one of the best string players in the world today, three-time Grammy Award winner Edgar Meyer has won remarkable acclaim as … (5 comments)

Scottish Jokes - 03/11/10 09:38 AM
As many of you may know, I come from the Uk originally but, more specifically, from Scotland. I thought I would share with you a few Scottish jokes that I have just been reminded of!
A Scot is the only man on earth who would step over the bodies of a dozen bronzed naked beauties just to get to a glass of whiskey.A Glaswegian stops before a graveyard in a Gorbals cemetery, and notices a carved tombstone declaring,"Here lies a lawyer and an honest man...""Ach, who'd ever think..." he murmered, "there'd be enough room fer two men in that one wee … (8 comments)

Romanian Road Sign - 03/10/10 01:19 PM

 
Street signs warning Romanian drivers to be careful of drunken pedestrians lying on roads were erected by road safety chiefs worried about the "despairing" levels of accidents.
Officials in a town called Pecica apparently ordered the bright red signs, complete with the phrase "Attention - Drunks".
  Boy, they sure know how to have a good time in Romania!  LOL
… (17 comments)

No Offense! Only kidding! - 03/09/10 01:33 PM
Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A.   Row, Row, Row Your Boat  Q.  Where does an Irish family go on vacation? A.  A different bar  Q.  What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A.  Sum Ting Wong  Q.  What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A.   A speech impediment  Q.  Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek ? A.   Because they're not going to work in the future either  Q.  Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A.  Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it  Q.  What's the … (5 comments)

100,000 Points - 03/04/10 04:34 PM
Well, I finally made it to my first milestone on here. Yep, 100,000 points. Woo Hoo!!!!
Of course, it's not all about points. It's about networking with fellow professionals and learning from their experiences and sharing yours too.
I have made so many new friends here and learned so much it has all been very worthwhile indeed.   
So, the next target.....well 200,000 of course but also to expand my network, increase my knowledge and........keep those jokes rolling in!!! 
See you all soon.
 
 
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100 mph Goat - 03/01/10 03:41 PM
Two rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by the size of it.
The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole; I can't even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is."The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and listen to see how long it takes to hit bottom."
The first hunter says "There's an old automobile transmission here, give me a hand and we'll throw it in and see." So they pick it up and carry it … (7 comments)

Vatican Humor - 03/01/10 03:32 PM
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. ' Excuse me, Your Holiness, ' says the driver, ' Would you please take your seat so we can leave? ' ' Well, to tell you the truth, ' says the Pope, ' they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today. ' ' I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen? ' protests … (4 comments)