humor: Good Morning- Suprise Home Inspection
- 11/19/11 08:13 AM
This morning I was scheduled to perform a home inspection on a vacant two bedroom condo in Chandler AZ. I arrive at 9:00 AM get the keys out of the lock box, knok on the door. I wait the standard 45 seconds, no responce so I unlock the door. Sitting in front of me is a 250 pound guy in is underwear. He is working on his laptop and say's can I help you?
I inform him I am here to inspect the unit for the buyers. What buyers? I didn't know my ex was selling the place.
The … (8 comments)
humor: Help from Prison
- 09/05/11 04:38 PM
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison. "This year I won't be able to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground, I know if you were here you would help me." The son wrote: "Dad don't think of digging the ground because that's where I buried the guns" Police read the letter and the very next day, the whole ground was dug by police looking for guns but nothing was found. The next day the son wrote again, "Now plant your potatoes, dad, it's the best I could do from here. (I had … (7 comments)
humor: Born 1925-1970 We made it
- 07/25/11 12:19 PM
No matter what our kids and the new generation think about us, WE ARE AWESOME and OUR Lives are LIVING PROOF !!! To Those of Us Born 1925 - 1970 :
First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.
They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes .
Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks … (13 comments)
humor: All I Need to Know About Life I Learned From Nature
- 07/19/11 05:07 PM
The smallest seeds can produce the mightiest trees Running away to fight another day isn't cowardice - it's good survival strategy Even the ugliest caterpillars produce beautiful butterflies Strength doesn't equal intelligence Curling up in your shell doesn't solve the problem Furs and skins look better on animals Don't be afraid to stand your ground Know when to crow and know when to keep quiet When all else fails, eat a few flowers Don't be afraid to travel Playing is the best way to learn Playing in a field of wildflowers is fun Take time to admire the scenery Every … (6 comments)
humor: All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From My Teenager
- 07/19/11 05:00 PM
I'm not as smart as I thought I was Only other parents are cool Gray hair is inherited from our children I don't understand anything You can never have enough nachos, pizza, and soda in the house Some 4-letter words are hard to speak at home (love, work, help) and other's aren't Toddlers step on your toes, teens step on your heart I can't cook Rules are meant to be broken You can't make someone do something they don't want to do Stress is not for adults only A clean room is an oxymoron Friends come first Dinner together is … (3 comments)
humor: All I Need To Know About Life I Learned From Fishing
- 07/09/11 07:18 PM
There is no such thing as too much equipment. When in doubt, exaggerate. If it feels good, it's fishing. Everyone has a story about the one that got away. It's good to be at the top of the food chain. Even the best lines get weak after they've been used a few times. Sometimes you've really got to squirm to get off the hook. Cast everything in the best light possible. Keep one eye on your bobber at all times. Life is a stream of consciousness thing. Take time to smell the fishes. I fish therefore I am. The way … (9 comments)
humor: Things We Learn from Our Dogs
- 07/08/11 10:38 PM
DogA friend of mine just lost the family pet he had for 15 years, I thought I would remind him of all the wisdom we gain from our pets.
Here are things we learn from our dogs Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience. Let others know when they've invaded your territory. Take naps and stretch before rising. Run, romp and play … (5 comments)
This morning I was scheduled to perform a home inspection on a vacant two bedroom condo in Chandler AZ.
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