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Blog entries tagged with "humor":
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Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers
and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and
blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to
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Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members
of this community.
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I've got to be a horse's ass for posting this.
The real estate situation in Florida has been extremly challenging over the past months. Neil Fischer of Lake County Florida was charged with allegedly trying to run a man off the taxiway at the Leesburg International Airport. According to the Orlando Sentinel Lake Edition.Neil, 52, was also charged with misdemeanor stalking at an Outback … (2 comments)
I took a drive up to Leavenworth this evening (40 miles to the north). I saw a listing that has been neglected. The grass was overgrown. Apparently a creative Realtor hired some deer to come in the yard and give the grass a trim. Now that's creative! 
Well...tomorrow is the Board of Realtors golf outing and they are calling for rain...I have a canopy for my table, perhaps that will lure the Realtors over to imbibe in the liquor plying. Believe me, my Staging Quotes look much cuter after a coupla stiff ones...(At least I've been told that's how … (0 comments)
Should give you something to think about when you do your flyers and your MLS listings. Watch your words. There are enough articles out there on the internet that make fun and say what the words "really mean" Here are some examples:
The problem with most people is that when times get tough, humor is the first thing to go. In my world, humor is a must. Without it, how can you survivie?
Here it is, the ultimate bachelor pad accessory!! Feeling Blue? Down in the dumps 'cuz you just got dumped? Well, worry no more, because the Emergency Party Button is here!! With a hot accessory like this, you don't even need to worry about inviting friends, with the strobe … (1 comments)
So yesterday I have almost 40,000 points. Today I am down to 33,000 and some change. What happened? Does anyone know why points are removed on blogs- weeks after posting? And if so, why some of the blogs over the 10 per week aren't given points if posted in the same … (17 comments)
On June 6, 2007 the United States Senate voted to make English the official language of the United States, with a vote of 64-33. The bill also states that no person has a right to have the government act in another tongue unless specifically stated by law. In an unprecedient follow-up … (16 comments)
Sounds like a great set up to something with a client, our markets ,or the economy. Actually, it really happened to us Saturday night.
Someone just posted a website called www.angryrenter.com, and it really exists and they are angry! About what I don't know, but I thought there might be some other sites we should disclose:www.pschoexgirlfriend.orgwww.fatguyatthegym.netwww.therentislateagain.comwww.Icantsellahome.orgwww.idiotinlineaheadofme.orgwww.governmentworkergoofingoff.govwww.ineedabeerafterwork.comwww.idiotonthefreeway.gov I am not sure if any of them work, but be careful if they do. Have any you want to … (0 comments)
#10 Your buyers have a mortgage commitment showing proof of income, tax returns, pay stubs, letters of employment, 20% down, a 780 fico score, drug test, DNA sample and assignment of first born…good to go.
#9 One of your 73 listings just got a cash offer – at full asking … (5 comments)
So, I got my invitation to attend the 2008 NAR Annual conference & Expo at the Orlando Convention center, today. That is all well and good. Fun. Fun. But, if you are going to hold it in Orlando...you've got to hold it at Disney World. Here are my Top 10 Reasons … (142 comments)
Accepts new job assignments willingly: Never finishes a job.Active socially: Drinks heavily.Alert to company developments: An office gossip.Approaches difficult problems with logic: Finds someone else to do the job.Average: Not too bright.Character above reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.Charismatic: No interest in any opinion but his own.Competent: Is still … (0 comments)
Those of us in the real estate business get a lot of laughs from the things we see each day, and sometimes from the photos we see on the MLS. I thought I'd have a little fun this morning and see what captions the braintrust here at AR can come up … (1 comments)
Bozo of the month contest!
… (7 comments)
There was this mountain lion who had decided one day to go down to the village to find food. Coming down the mountain he spotted this dairy farm with hundreds and hundreds of cows and one big bull cow standing tall right in the middle. He waited for the right moment … (0 comments)
The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. 
My husband works at Yahoo and these days he is constantly getting asked "what do you think about Microsoft's bid to buy Yahoo"? There has been so much speculation and so many rumors, that it has been hard to have an opinion. Amid all the late nights of negotiations and legal maneuvers, … (7 comments)
I have a friend that always puts plastic wrap over the toilets so that open house guests can't use them. She wraps them rather well, making sure that there is no excess wrap around the sides. Yesterday she had a guy that walked upstairs while she was talking to other people … (7 comments)
This phrase is practiced among Realtors® worldwide. Often we as agents are asked questions that only licensed professionals like Attorneys, Accountants or Doctors can answer. (Well, maybe not so much the doctor questions.) So it is important and behooves us from a liability perspective to say this phrase often and with … (6 comments)
Our words have more power than we realize sometimes. 
I tried recently to go an entire day without telling one lie...including white lies.
Charlie bit my finger! Have you ever purchased a new home directly from a builder without the assistance of your own realtor representation? Is it the same as putting your finger in a babies mouth and expecting him not to bite? What experiences have you had? What is the importance … (8 comments)
(A lovely joke from my sister in Branson, Missouri................................)
I know, I know.
This morning I was reading other people's blogs, when I came across Steven Hoffacker's post on "The Funny Things We Say." It inspired me to write something similar, but about the funny things that kids say - namely my kid!
This morning, I felt particularly amused by some of the things we say - all innocent things, and all things which people understand when we say them - but if you really thought about the words ..."I write all of my own articles" - well, actually the computer and the keyboard … (8 comments)
As many of you know, Northwest airlines and Delta Airlines are in the process of merging. The debate is of what will it mean for the consumer. Some say more mergers other say room for new startups. I have heard of 2 such possible startups...on of which will be a "cut … (8 comments)
3 Words Women are Fond of Using:1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five … (0 comments)
Several years ago I had to go serve a 3 Day Notice to Pay Rent or Quit to a tenant in a pretty bad neighborhood. The property was very small and had a chain link fence completely around it. As I got out of my car I noted that a large … (11 comments)
On Monday, Wachovia's earnings call highlighted grave concerns of over "ruthless defaults", or "walk aways"; both terms describing voluntary defaults by upside-down borrowers. 
I would like to share a confusation with you. What's a confusation? It's a mixture of confusion and conversation. I'm all for preserving the English language and avoiding the addition of new and pointless slang terms. But, at the same time, I enjoy having a little bit of fun with ideas … (2 comments)
Whether you are relocating to Oklahoma, or are a born and bred "Okie", here are a few laws that you may not be aware of that are still on the books in Oklahoma! 10. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or … (1 comments)
Yes, I am the oddball who uses a push mower and edger around my home. On the positive side, I do not need to worry about gas prices, nor am I hurting the environment. I leave the clippings were they fall to help my yard. On the negative side, I … (13 comments)
Follow this link to keep your monitor clean: https://emp.ucsd.edu/swf/screenclean.swfI know that most of us are too busy to do this work and may be skeptical. But trust me... it really works! … (0 comments)
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS … (2 comments)
I am fortunately enough to be one of San Marin High School (Novato, Marin County, CA) Robotics Club, Penguin Empire team's mentors. 
Since tax day is right around the corner, I thought I'd break down the American tax system for you in this wonderful analogy... Bar Stool EconomicsSuppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way … (18 comments)
The weather report for Louisville says that we can expect rain for the next several days. I am trying to get my latest investment project completed and really want to list it before this weekend. So, I stopped by to talk to the contractor about getting the outdoor projects completed today. 
When Active Rain "works" it does something quite wonderful. It grows, and expands, and teaches, and challenges. It creates dialogue in places and spaces where there was none. 
I've got this MagLight in my car--you know, one of those black metal heavy flashlights that can fell a deer with one swing--but I am always forgetting to buy batteries. So we go into a foreclosed house, where there is no electricity and waning daylight, and I pull out the MagLight … (0 comments)
LITTLE NANCY'S PET Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Nancy?" "My goldfish died," replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just … (10 comments)
Boy it seems that every day we have to stop by the money sucking gas stations that just seem to be giving you less and less for your money. Just the other day i put 15 bucks into my car and what do you know, the needle only moves up 1/4th. … (3 comments)
I just know you've all had something funny happen to you as a real estate professional.
To all my friends who in 2007 sent me best 'wishes', chain letters, 'angel' letters or other promises of good luck if I forwarded something, 
If you had a stressful day and need to put a smile on your face, just play this little video. … (2 comments)
Everyone knows that loans are getting tougher to get, higher credit reports are needed and the strings just keep getting pulled tighter and tigher. But yesterday's closing (praise the lord) was UNBELIEVABLE and a sign of the current lender times.Situation & Background: Townhouse, needs alot of updating work so we priced it … (4 comments)
Burglary Chicago styleWhen Chicago resident Nathan Radlich's house was burgled recently, thieves ignored his wide screen plasma TV, his VCR, and even left his Rolex watch. What they did take, however, was 'a generic white cardboard box filled with a grayish-white powder.' (That's at least is the way the police report … (14 comments)
It has been a longstanding Internet tradition to launch April Fools pranks on this day. And for us old-timers, we've learned to take things posted on this auspicious day with a grain of salt, or to otherwise, sit it out.