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Blog entries tagged with "humor":
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Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers
and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and
blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to
our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain
Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members
of this community.
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MY HUSBAND DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHY I WATCH SOAP OPERAS!
I often take time to read the "In the Trenches" stories on Realtor.org. This section of their web site has stores sent in from agents across the country. Each of these agents are very different and have different ways of doing things. The stories are sometimes odd or strange but mostly … (1 comments)
Frank was celebrating his 100th birthday and everyone commented on how athletic and well preserved he appeared. " I will tell you the secret of my success," he cracked.
High 88 Low 70 Clouds and Sun
"The only struggle worthy of a man's unceasing
sacrifice---the struggle to be free." - Lyndon B. Johnson
Colombia - 15 hostages rescued from rebels -
after 5 years, 3 were American...
Al says - "Why don't sheep shrink -
… (3 comments)
Today I am typing my first post here in active|rain on my formally Microsoft stained fingers. Hallelujah!! Today I have gone ‘cold turkey’ and kicked the habit… the Microsoft habit that is. 
The local news station was interviewing an 84-year old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time!
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 84, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," … (4 comments)
Subject: new technology
If you plan to visit New Jersey this Holiday weekend, here are some ways to tell us locals from the out of towners...
The locals don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges."
It's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
Breakfast on the go is a hard roll with butter. … (7 comments)
If I had any self control, I probably wouldn't post this, but it is just too much fun. 2008 does indeed promise to be a historic year, a presidential contest like no other before it.
With the down turn in the real estate market, it is not unusual to see sellers offering up 'incentives' if you buy their house. Some that I have seen: a Porsche, a Mercedes, a Country Club membership, a pool/tennis club membership and the most common one, an offer to buy down … (3 comments)
The post below on one of my other blogs seems to have hit a chord with many people. It was in the top ten for most popular post on wordpress.com for most of the day yesterday and is sitting at number 12 right now. It has really not even taken off … (1 comments)
Okay, So I live in Ocala and I drive around my community daily and see funny little things that catch my eye. For instance, On 17th Street (known for all the Professional offices and Banks) which also has single family homes and a Duck pond, well this duck pond happens to … (5 comments)
The central valley of Sacramento has been surrounded by forest fires for over a week now.
The sky is hazy and sometimes it seems like you can see the smokey haze laying on top of the ground. I noted that my car was getting dirtier outside and that got me thinking … (6 comments)
To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective … (13 comments)
Learned a lesson last week about backing up your hard drive with Windows XP Pro and the difference between Microsoft Office 2003 and Vista. I backed mine up externally on a weekly basis for years. Had my laptop for 5 years, heard a clicking sound and poof it was gone. Blue … (0 comments)
It seemed like a good idea, and I have had a few people contact me about "stages" so I thought I might try it with my new listing. It started a little confusing because I didn't know if I should buy a stage or build one. I am kind of handy … (12 comments)
There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals,
a lion , a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.Who do you think will win?Your answer will reflect … (8 comments)
I don't know how to import a you tube video directly onto my blog, but check it out with the link below.
Yesterday the world lost one of the iconic comedic observers of the boomer generation of the 1960s. George Denis Patrick Carlin passed away of heart failure at the age of 71.
The agent with the highest PFA price gets the
listing
Three agents give listing presentations, who
does the homeowner choose to work with? All other things being equal, the
agent who 'says' the house should be listed for the highest
price.
Just a bit of humor to lighten everyone's mood on this spectacular day. 
A
balloonist is floating along
and suddenly realizes he is lost. He lowers his altitude and notices a
man in the field below him. He calls out to him saying:
"Excuse me, but I am lost. Could you tell me where I am?"
The man below answers,
"You are 50 … (3 comments)
The Washington Post's MENSA Invitational produced the following winning new words for 2008
1. Intaxacation - Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to begin with.
2. Reintarnation - Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone - The substance surrounding stupid … (3 comments)
A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table … (5 comments)
video credit: originally uploaded to YouTube on June 5, 2008 by etrade
how can you not be smiling when this is playing?
… (12 comments)
Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss? The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the … (3 comments)
OK...I have to admit it....I'm thinking of a career change. If you're so inclined, I may just join the political foray to mix it up a bit. I think that I can challenge McCain and Obama. I know that each of them have a lot more money than my Campaign, … (8 comments)
June 2008 has arrived with a first-time headline for history--- cell phone additction puts children in a mental hospital for rehab! According to the Spanish media, 2 children ages 12 & 13, were hauled off by their parents, probably shouting "can you hear me now?!" Apparently these young siblings stopped being able … (14 comments)
Kevin, you are the husband that all girls dream of. You are kind, loving, giving, you have a great sense of humor, and you are a wonderful father.
Here's Episode 2 of Desperate REALTOR(s). 
The Irish are such clear thinkers:
'We, in Ireland , can't figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election in the United States . On one side, you have a witch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, running against a lawyer who is married to a … (7 comments)
Here's the Official "Whipster's Punabridged Dictionary" (L-Z) that was hidden and recently discovered buried deep inside a box in a far corner of my garage for over 25 years. It's deep truths and incite can now be shared with others so that they can unlock the true meaning of these words... … (0 comments)
This is for all the working MOM Realtors Out There..
I am sitting in my office this afternoon, printing MLS sheets for my afternoon showings. I am in a rush to get them printed, when suddenly I realize I have forgotten my Supra key at home, as last night was the … (10 comments)
$66 dollars. I bought a Volkswagen, and filled up the 14 gallon tank for $66 dollars. My short math is about as good as my Prussian so I'm figuring about $4.71 a gallon. I'm feeling like I should get dinner first, but the young lad at the counter, set down his … (3 comments)
Once Again, I hope this makes you smile and you have a great weekend!!
Check out this great article I recently read in the Arizona Daily Star, entitled "Home, art inside are both for sale." I think the sellers in this article are onto something pretty smart by joining forces with a local art museum to sell their property.Author Christie Smythe points out that showing … (2 comments)
I wanted to share this funny experience with you all. My wife and I were driving down the street and I told her to go and get a "Fountain Drink" and here McDonalds has a special on there drinks for only $1. I wasn't driving so I tell her to pull … (3 comments)
I saw this commercial last night and I don't think I've laughed this hard at a commercial in 10 or 15 years. It was on during the pre-game of the NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and Los Angeles Lakers. I think it's great example of a funny idea (it's a … (2 comments)
I hate that I am writing this so late, but work has been a monster lately and that is another blog in itself. With that said, we need to get this show on the road. Once again this week, it seems to be a little difficult in finding jokes and humor … (23 comments)
Have you ever been sitting in church and the pastor breaks out an illustration about his family? Have you wondered what he had coming to him (or her) after service that day? A friend of mine posted this video on his blog. I don't know where he got it, but you've … (1 comments)
I was at CE event recently and I was approached by an agent I had worked with at a Brokerage House I had worked at in the past. Nothing unusual about that, we all interact on a daily basis and do a little chit chatting at these events. But as I was talking … (1 comments)
Go to www.IwouldLove2beYourRealtor.com and get the particulars on it- I've got inside pics coming tomorrow....
It's NOT just a listing! It's my PERSONAL HOUSE!!! AAAARRRRRGGGHH!
SOMEBODY BUY MY HOUSE!!!!! … (2 comments)
I think most of us can appreciate this! You may be too young to remember this 'dynamic duo' but you can certainly laugh at (with) them still today. 
The Real Estate Professionals are in the stands. We see the whole market. Decreasing property values, low offers and more foreclosures coming on the market everyday. We also see how challenging it is to get buyers qualified, properties to appraise and so on.
Our clients are on the field dealing with their … (4 comments)
We all get the e-mails in our in boxes. This one looked harmless enough until I got to thinking about it.... How many of these FACTS are just plain ole' made up to make a list? Now I am wondering if I need to hire a fact checker to stay PC … (7 comments)
As writers here on ActiveRain, have you ever wondered about some of the words we use to define things. If you have ever heard Andy Rooney speak, he has that great sing song voice. Always to leave you wonder when the punch line is coming. Imagine if you will his voice reading … (14 comments)
One for the money and two for the show....grab your coffee, and let's go go go :) Yep, it's Monday, Happy Monday again. Today I want to make sense of why gas prices are outrageous, and I want to make sense of why so many families can't afford the basic food items anymore, … (43 comments)
Just a little something to get you ready for the weekend!
The husband reluctantly agreed to play in the couples alternate shot tournament at his club. He teed off on the first hole, a par four, and blistered a drive 300 yards down the middle of the fairway. Upon reaching the … (16 comments)
I spent yesterday afternoon at a home inspection at a property I have in contract. The home inspector tested the central heat and air conditioning system, and noted that there was not a significant change in temperature after letting the system run for 20 or so minutes. This was a matter … (2 comments)
I love to ready bumper stickers while driving and thought, why not share this with the ActiveRain Family. Here are some that I ran across that had me chuckle once or twice. I hope you all enjoy;
My favorite is:
DON'T STEAL
THE GOVERNMENT HATES COMPETITION
I hope this brings a … (36 comments)
This blog is off my usual real estate topics, but I thought we could use some *MAKES YOU THINK* humor for today.
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put … (14 comments)
more funny picturesWell, some days it seems to be going really bad...but never fear, you can give me a call and I will try to help you find a better place to live!
Recently we have had a lot of talk about offending others in the rain and I do my best to not offend others. I don't get in to political or religious debates, but time to time, I do get stuck in the middle of a debate about a real estate issue … (17 comments)
RICH DANSEREAU, ANGELA ELLIOT AND ROBIN SHERMAN All surprised me this morning as their e-mails hit me with the "Super Meme". I'm not sure who started this little extention of the original version but I would love to see more questions! With only one cup of coffee … (24 comments)