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Blog entries tagged with "humor":
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No seriously. Do you? I was originally just thinking it would be a funny title, but...
THE DOG FOOD DIETYesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena thewonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, anelephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on … (10 comments)
It happens to the best of us. You know - you get into a discussion with someone but you disagree with their points. You politely but firmly state your own views only to have the other person say something totally off the wall. This happens in blogging as well as in … (17 comments)
Apparently, we're not the only ActiveRain'ers around. We've got company, to the tune of trillions (likely more) fellow members who don't have much to say about anything, save for places like here in Seattle where it not only rains all the time, but actively so.
In a conversation with a friend, he stated how real estate agents are often times equated with used car salesmen. Now he's a cynical guy, but means no harm. But it started me thinking, that is what I do, I'm a used home salesman! Perhaps I'll even get into new home … (9 comments)
Friday means we are one day away from the start or our Realtor work week so why not start off our busy weekends with a laugh. In keeping with my new tradition of trying to post a "funny video of the week" every Friday, here is a video on negotiation tactics. If you … (3 comments)
Here's a little fun for Leap Day Friday.
Joke for the day: We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. - Robert Wilensky … (1 comments)
Oh my goodness, as anyone who has sold real estate anytime at all, knows, showing homes to a buyer can be quite an adventure! A couple of days ago, Tom was showing homes to a buyer, his 3 year old son, his sister and his father. Well they came to this one vacant … (9 comments)
The Wackiest Laws On The Books!Did you know that in New Hampshire it is illegal to tap your feet, nod your head, or keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or café? Or that state law in Colorado allows people to rip the tags off pillows and mattresses, despite … (5 comments)
I feel so guilty! What have I done! I've created a monster! 
… (0 comments)
OK, I have fallen down on my civic duties so I thought that I would put together a few jokes from my collection to lighten the mood. With all that has been going on I have neglected this side of my post. 
Discover how laughter and humor can work to your advantage when dealing with the seemingly unfunny business of balancing risk and managing change. Learn how flexibility and responsiveness are critical qualities for thriving in a world of ever-accelerating change.This fun, innovative seminar also explores how the successful use of humor can … (2 comments)
There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.Just before he died, he said to his wife..."When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket … (5 comments)
A Buddhist Monk finds himself in New York. He decides to order a Hot Dog from a Street Vendor, so he says to the vendor:---"Make Me One With Everything!" The vendor does, and gives the hot dog to the Monk. The Monk gives the vendor a $20 Bill. The vendor starts serving other … (1 comments)
Over a year ago I did a post about how You Might Be A Real Estate Agent... based upon Jeff Foxworthy's humorous look at life and how it may pertain to our profession.
If you are not over 40, this is what you have to look forward to. 
Well, I have seen some pretty snazzy-looking blogs with names such as Tuesday Townhouses for Sale, so I just HAD to come up with something equally as interesting. Hence--SUNDAY SHENANIGANS. 
Embarrassing Medical Exams 1. A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs ---and I … (4 comments)
We were once called the "family of sarcasm" by someone who knew members of our family in different capacities and therefore was SURE that what he was saying was exactly true. We weren't insulted. Sarcasm is a biting form of humor that some people get and others don't. We get it, we enjoy it … (13 comments)
BUT WHAT ABOUT GOOSE FIGHTS?
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter:Dear Dad,It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with mom and you. I have been finding real passion with … (6 comments)
There I was reading the San Francisco Chronicle online when the headline grabbed me: "Gulp, The Pythons Are Coming" and I clicked in. Seems there are pet pythons abandoned to the wild in Florida and they've proved highly adaptable and somewhat mobile-- they can, apparently, travel up to 20 miles a day! … (6 comments)
Amstar Mortgage Corp - Newsletter
Zach Dahl
PET RULESTo be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.Dear Dogs and Cats,The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does … (10 comments)
Refrigerators, sinks, stoves in Avacado Green or Harvest Gold. Shag carpeting, also in avacado or gold, kept fluffy by a carpet rake. Dark panelling in the den, carpet in the bathroom. Lava lamps. I laugh out loud when I think back to the day when everyone, including myself, thought these items of interior … (7 comments)
This is the second in a series of Blogs about the quality of photos that can be found in your local MLS. Our clients engage a professional to market and sell their properties. When we accept a listing we have a responsibility to to produce professional marketing materials. THere may be … (7 comments)
I have to admit that when I started in real estate I was very confused by a lot of the abbreviations I found in our local MLS. I would see the showing instructions of "Call NAUKB, go show" on about every 4th listing and I wondered how Mr. NAUKB owned so … (4 comments)
We all know how vital disclosure is in this business. We must tell a buyer everything that we consider to be materially significant. Sometimes our industry goes too far, sometimes not far enough. It got me thinking about other industries and things they must disclose. Here are just some of the … (6 comments)
A christian radio station in the far-northern US has a "Call-in Confessional" show. One man called in and said that he was driving his wife's car to work. All of a sudden, a car behind him started laying on the horn. He looked back, and the guy just kept honking. The guy kept getting angrier and … (2 comments)
I really do work you guys. In between tasks I was reading non-real estate related articles. This one had me laughing! In short: its about waiting for an important call, which we are all familiar with combined with a hilarious cause and effect chain of events. If this reference isn't clickable, click on … (0 comments)
Okay you AR Addicts. Give me the secret!! I have become addicted to this now, and although I have a list of household chores in front of me, I can't turn off my computer. My life is revolving around real estate and Active Rain. HEEEELLLLLLLLPPP! Will I ever find a happy … (8 comments)
I have been hearing reports of slow traffic all day, but why? Salt trucks and plows have been busy, the roads are not icy, haven't been since I got on them at 7:30 this morning. My theory is that we have a lot of people who haven't seen, let alone driven … (3 comments)
Dear Tech Support: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticedthat the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot ofspace and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs andnow monitors all other system activities, such as Poker … (2 comments)
Just the other day in my office, I was floored to hear one of the agents talking about an incident during a final walk-thru at a new subdivision in our area.
A very gentle Southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man a-fixin' to jump.She stopped her car, rolled down the window and said, "Please don't jump, think of your dear mother and father."He … (10 comments)
Rarely - am I really amused at all that junk email flying around... but this made me laugh!!
I know this title could be a touchy subject with some, but I have to laugh. Why? Because I have been studying the history of one of my newest listings. I recently listed a 1912 craftsman home called Schiller Station in Gresham, Oregon. Inside the home's walls during the remodel were … (10 comments)
Turn up your sound and click on the link below. This accident happened in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and you have to listen to it. It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM … (3 comments)
Today was Kick-Off Day for Empire Realty Associates, a gathering to reignite our commitment to our profession and our community. Bob O'Grady, Vice President and Branch Manager shared one of his favorite quotes. He, unfortunately does not know who the author was, but it's definitely worth sharing!"Life should NOT be a … (9 comments)
My Broker-Pal, Good-Old-Dennis called me almost collapsing with laughter the other day. He knew I'd love his latest great real estate story about an old B& B his client was considering. 
I saw this, and just had to share!! A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb. It's hard to believe these were … (3 comments)
Here is a bit of Humor while I find myself sneaking away from the game. Multi task I say! … (13 comments)
How often do you find yourself in a situation where you completely disagree with the jerk in front of you, but you bite your tongue. I must admit, that I don't find myself in that situation nearly as often as my wife would like for me to. I have the tendency … (12 comments)
THIS IS PRICELESS!!! This could happen to you. I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you?' I'm not the type to start a conversation in the restroom but I don't know what got into me, so I answered, somewhat embarrassed, 'Doin' … (8 comments)
My whole life I have been cutting the tags out of appaeral. Then they made shirts with no tags (how cool). Now I have internet/digital things that I don't even wear so if the tag was attached before I used it, I probably wouldn't even cut it out. But now I have … (0 comments)
Danny's humorous Blog and my reply! Heh Danny thanks for the include. I think all of us need more humour in our lives! God Bless and Make some calls Ya awl! 1. Find an apartment complex http://www.apartments.com/ Look by your zip and over 1500?/month. 2. Get the street address from the … (1 comments)
Part I - Banter 
Ok now this is maybe the 2nd or 3rd time I have seen this. I was a little surprised when I saw it the first time. But the second time I saw it I must saw I was quite baffled. Paper Staging what is it? I went on a consultation for … (37 comments)
If you've ever gone fishing you can relate to the one that got away. You remember the weather, what you were wearing, what bait you were using. I write about real estate investing so for me the day of infamy for the investment that got away was December 30, 1981. Disco … (17 comments)
The other day I was feeling pretty cool. I’d actually engaged my friend’s teenage son in conversation. We were chatting about music, the White Stripes to be exact, when something he said inspired me to say, “What you talking about, Willis?”
Silence blossomed between us. He finally replied, “My name isn’t … (2 comments)
I was reminded recently of a "Get Motivated" seminar I attended last April in Baltimore, MD. I have to admit, I wasn't thrilled about going. I have a rather cynical view of these types of things, as the effects rarely last beyond the next day. But you feel so good!
Anyway, … (2 comments)
I try to tell people that there's never a dull moment around me (except when I'm sleeping, but even then I awake with remembrances of these fantastic dreams usually about travel, or houses, or business trips to malls....oops, I digress).Anyway, Saturday... I'm showing homes to a couple I've been working with … (4 comments)
I've just been invited to join the Active Rain community by a long-time friend and home stager, Sharon Tara from Portsmouth, NH. We've just recently completed (until the next changes...) the brand new version of http://www,sharontara.com/ and I must say, It's been quite the experience!
So back to the story.I get a call from Lizzy on Monday saying she is ready to put an offer in and we talk a bit about the structure of the deal, she says she wants to wait another day to give me a yes. I indicate that this property has … (0 comments)