jokes: Part 5, a day early...Icebreakers and useless knowledge...Thanks for asking for it!!! - 05/12/08 02:26 PM
100. The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.
101. About 14% of injecting drug users are HIV positive.
102. A word or sentence that is the same front and back (racecar, kayak) is called a "palindrome".
103. … (1 comments)
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jokes: Hilarious Mothers Day song! - 05/11/08 03:11 PM
Ladies, rejoice! Here is the song we have all be able to sing! I think I will pipe it through out my home through the speakers daily, and that should put and end to me having altercations with my "darling" 14 year old daughter, lol. Enjoy girls, and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY … (7 comments)
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jokes: Ladies, if you want....(today's funny) - 05/08/08 08:02 AM
I received this a few days ago and I am just now getting around to it. In honor of all the hard working women out there, I have to share this with you. It might be the most profound thing that you hear today and I can not let it go … (26 comments)
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jokes: Trivia knowledge and icebreakers part 3 - 05/04/08 12:28 PM
50. Upper and lower case letters are named "upper" and "lower" because in the time when all original print had to be set in individual letters, the upper case letters were stored in the case on top of the case that stored the lower case letters.
51. There are … (3 comments)
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jokes: A 5 year old's first job... - 04/24/08 07:24 PM
A 5 year old's first job...> > > > Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond> > formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some> > construction workers that will make you believe> > that we all can make a difference when we give> > a child the gift of … (0 comments)
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jokes: Coyote V. Acme - 04/20/08 10:12 PM
Coyote V. Acme
IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT,SOUTHWESTERN DISTRICT, TEMPE, ARIZONACASE NO. B19294, JUDGE JOAN KUJAVA, PRESIDING
Wile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-v.-Acme Company, Defendant
Opening Statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the … (0 comments)
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jokes: I'm an equal opportunity joker - 04/20/08 07:40 AM
I'm an equal opportunity joker and to prove it I'm posting this funny video I found in my wife Monika's e-mail. I figured she might have trouble posting it or would need my help anyway...so I might as well have at it. LOL
Funny but Monika got this video from none other … (16 comments)
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jokes: Three Words Women are Fond of Using - 04/18/08 11:55 AM
3 Words Women are Fond of Using:1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five … (0 comments)
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jokes: Crazy Laws in Oklahoma - 04/14/08 03:45 PM
Whether you are relocating to Oklahoma, or are a born and bred "Okie", here are a few laws that you may not be aware of that are still on the books in Oklahoma!
10. Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or … (1 comments)
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jokes: President in 2008 - today's funny - 04/05/08 11:38 AM
I thought that we all could use a little humor in light of all the issues that have transpired during this election year. It seems that they have figured out how to turn it into a circus. For those of you that know me, you know that I am not a … (43 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap: version 4.3 - 04/03/08 11:20 AM
I know that I did not do this last week and I apologize as I know that some of you look forward to this post. So, I thought that I would make sure that I revisited it today. I have to thank Rich Dansereau though as he constantly is sending me … (4 comments)
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jokes: Policemen - today's funny - 04/02/08 10:57 AM
It is hump day and I figure that we all could use a good laugh. It has been a couple of months since i have been able to put together some jokes that are worth making people laugh. With that said, I would like to share two different ones with you … (21 comments)
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jokes: We really do not need home staging ... April Fools - 04/02/08 12:00 AM
Today, I had the opportunity to celebrate April Fools Day with "staging" appointment with my good friend Tori Lynn Ross of Ross Designs. Tori is a member of my team and as part of my marketing plan, I have all my listings professionally staged by Tori. To set this up, I had the help of … (9 comments)
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jokes: My Last Load on the day my house closed escrow. - 03/30/08 01:16 AM
My wife and I sold our own house last week and moved a few blocks away. We laughed that during the move we could never quite get everything out. I must have taken the "last" load about 10 times in the last few days.
On the morning escrow was closing I went up … (3 comments)
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jokes: Asking for a raise in commission - 03/29/08 03:30 PM
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me."
"Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company."
I thought this was appropriate and funny at the same … (9 comments)
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jokes: Do you have BLOGOHOLISM? - 03/28/08 05:30 AM
Five years ago or even three years ago most of us did not even know the word BLOG and now most of us brand the names of Blogoholic, blogoholism or blogger. This blog definition might explain it best. = A frequent, chronological publication of personal thoughts and Web links. A blog is often … (28 comments)
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jokes: A Love Story - 03/21/08 02:57 AM
I shall seek and find you. I shall take you to bed and control you. I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan. I will make you beg for mercy. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you. … (19 comments)
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jokes: Have a nice laugh - 03/20/08 10:56 PM
Here is something I found that gave me a good chuckle. Hope you enjoy!
Found this rather funny...hope you all enjoy.
a handyman had a dog named Mace. Mace loved to eat grass. One day, the handyman lost his wrench in tall grass. He looked and looked, but gave up at dusk. When … (4 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap: version 3.20 - 03/20/08 08:40 AM
In today's times, we need to be able to laugh. I have found 7 different members that over the last week, they attempted that very thing. Some of these will just make you roll on the floor and laugh out loud. All of them are funny in there own way.
I appreciate … (4 comments)
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jokes: MORE FUN - 03/14/08 02:12 AM
Here is some more fun stories about the Real Estate. Enjoy your day and cheer up
More to come
… (0 comments)
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jokes: Real Estate Humor - 03/14/08 01:50 AM
My buyer told me that he lived in the same house for 10 years. When I checked, I found out he'd still be theretoday if the Governor hadn't pardoned him.Why do you have your front door leading right into the dining room? So my relatives won't have to waste anytime.The sellers … (3 comments)
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jokes: Funny Recap: Version 3.13 - 03/13/08 10:44 AM
Wow, you people are really funny. I have gone through so many post today that my gut is hurting from laughing so much today. If you want to laugh, today is definitely the day to do that. I have found some new faces adding humor, laughter, and gut busting jokes.
Just … (9 comments)
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jokes: Some Funny Videos For Your Amusement! - 03/12/08 02:10 PM
I know as agents, loan officers, etc that we all need a break from time to time so I thought I would throw together some funny videos for all to see. A laugh a day keeps a heart attack away!
#1. Politically Incorrect Sign
Politically Incorrect Sign
#2 Bad Landing?
German … (4 comments)
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jokes: JUST A FUNNY FORWARD... - 03/11/08 06:14 PM
In keeping with my promise to add some giggles to this thing, here's a forward I got my friend in San Antonio: ***There are a few cuss words and innuendos in here - you've been warned***What's the best form of birth control after 50?NudityWhat's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?45 lbs.What's … (4 comments)
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jokes: Handy Cleaning Tips - 03/09/08 12:44 PM
I thought I would share a few of my handy cleaning tips with you. Feel free to pass them along to your sellers.
Dirt: Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 15 and … (20 comments)
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jokes: Never Lie to a woman !! - 03/07/08 09:01 PM
Hope you like this one!
A man called home to his wife and said, " Honey I have been >> asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his >> Friends . We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity >> for me to … (2 comments)
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jokes: Funnies recap: version 3.6 - 03/06/08 02:24 PM
What a day. where does the time go when you are having fun. And ActiveRain being down all morning did not help. So, I have 3 blogs to get out today and it is not going to be easy.
Last week I missed the recap because I wrote my 300th post … (6 comments)
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jokes: You can't have roses WITHOUT the Thorns! - 03/05/08 11:26 AM
Some times in life we have to see past or get past the thorns to see the flowers. God doesn't let you go through a trial so that he can find out if you will make it, God lets you go through it so that YOU will Know if you can stand. … (0 comments)
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jokes: I need a Sign (today's funny) - 03/04/08 03:42 PM
So, I was out surfing the net and came across a ton of funny signs. I really wonder who writes these. And I want to know what town they are in so I can stay away from it. I enlarged these pictures to the best of my ability and I hope … (49 comments)
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jokes: Dog Food - A little Friday Humor - 02/29/08 11:45 PM
THE DOG FOOD DIETYesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for Athena thewonder dog at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, anelephant? So since I'm retired, with little to do, on … (10 comments)
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jokes: Veterinarian - Things that make you laugh. - 02/26/08 12:58 PM
OK, I have fallen down on my civic duties so I thought that I would put together a few jokes from my collection to lighten the mood. With all that has been going on I have neglected this side of my post.
So, I hope that this can get a smile … (35 comments)
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jokes: Asking For A Raise In Commission - 02/24/08 08:41 AM
A Real Estate Agent approaches his broker and says "I have to have a raise in my commission rate. I have 3 other companies after me."
"Is that so" said the broker. "And just which 3 companies are after you?"
"The electric company, the phone company, and the gas company."
… (12 comments)
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jokes: You Might be an Active Rain Addict if...... - 02/23/08 08:32 PM
Just for a little fun, I'm wondering how many of us meet the following criteria?
1. You wake up after going to bed (way too late) and the first thing you do (even before the restroom) is check your blog on Active Rain.
2. You're on Active Rain reading blogs and comments and … (38 comments)
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jokes: Notes Found On My Kids Report Cards - 02/22/08 06:24 PM
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to … (4 comments)
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jokes: Things We Know In The South ~ Y'all Are Fixin' To Learn Something Here! - 02/22/08 08:21 AM
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the … (79 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap: version 2.21 - 02/21/08 12:34 PM
As each week, I go out seeking who is funny on ActiveRain. It does not take long to find things to laugh out around here. This week is no different. There is some new talent on here and some that I have featured before. All in all, you are sure to … (11 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap version 2.14 - 02/14/08 08:18 AM
First off, let me wish all a . I hope that you have a day full of and find with that someone special. This weeks edition of the funnies has to be one of the best yet. I am continuing to find new ones weekly, so keep those jokes, funnies, and … (14 comments)
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jokes: Marriage: What is it all About (today's funny) - 02/12/08 07:22 AM
All my friends here have ben all over me recently because I have not been sharing any jokes with anyone lately. So, I decided that every Tuesday, I would do at least one for everyone to enjoy. Now I am sure that I will put out a few more than that, … (17 comments)
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jokes: Take me out to the Ball Game - Baseball Jokes & Humor - 02/09/08 10:51 AM
So, I have fallen off a bit on making people laugh and I got called on it today. Well, not just today. I have been called on it a few times. I have just been so busy that I have not had time to do anything about it. And, since Football … (27 comments)
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jokes: Funny Recap: Version 2.7 - 02/07/08 12:56 PM
Today, I figured that I would do this a little different. With that said, it took me a little longer to put this together. I truly hope that all of you find some joy in these post. I know I did.
Also, click on the pictures for a treat. And remember … (8 comments)
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jokes: Don't mess with Texas - 02/07/08 12:19 PM
Turn up your sound and click on the link below. This accident happened in the Dallas-Ft. Worth area and you have to listen to it. It is a phone call from a man who witnesses a car accident involving four elderly women. It was so popular when they played it on CHUM FM … (3 comments)
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jokes: A dirty joke or a good laugh? - 02/02/08 07:26 PM
Prank 1... An old classic.
Place cling film (plastic wrap) across the toilet bowl and lower the seat.
Prank 2...
Add a thin layer of Vaseline to the toilet seat. Your victim won't know what it is.
Prank 3...
Wait until you're sure the toilet will remain unused for … (3 comments)
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jokes: Funnies recap-version 1.31 - 01/31/08 06:22 AM
This weeks edition is just as funny as any edition that I have done. There is a combination of jokes, funny videos, and real life humor. This is something to make you laugh or at least smile. I hope that you find at least one that will help you to do … (16 comments)
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jokes: Why, Why, WhY - 01/30/08 10:59 AM
Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check … (4 comments)
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jokes: New Cop Uniforms (funny) - 01/25/08 02:59 PM
Lately there has been some discussions about the police uniform. So, some police stations have decided that they would adopt a new uniform. If you are one of the lucky ones that get pulled over by one of these cops wearing their new uniforms, be excited because not all police department … (18 comments)
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jokes: honey bee - too funny! - 01/25/08 01:59 PM
OK< if you do not have a sense of humor, then do not read any further that you have already read. This is a joke, it is humorous and should be looked upon as such. My goal here is to make you smile, maybe even laugh. I know that I need … (24 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap - version 1.24 - 01/24/08 08:37 AM
This weeks journeys took me to some new names and faces. I really enjoyed putting this one together as the stories were good this week. I wish that everyone that posted a joke would tag it as a joke and then it would make it easier to find, but I still … (13 comments)
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jokes: The effects of Alcohol - today's funny - 01/22/08 02:25 PM
If you are anything like me, you love animals. With that said, when animals drink, the results are not to pretty. So, with that being said, lets take a look at the effects of alcohol.
*Disclaimer 1* no animals were harmed in the making of these pictures.
*Disclaimer 2* this will make … (43 comments)
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jokes: Hang On People, We're In For A Ride! - 01/17/08 03:56 PM
So you thought 2007 was eventful did ya? Well shoot! Dad Gum! Ain't that a hoot?! and all those other "isms" that rednecks in my neck of the woods can thunk up without help from a capital city.
Aurora, one of my favorite lenders bit the dust today. Lehman brothers, their parent company … (4 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap version 1.17 - 01/17/08 06:53 AM
I decided that I would dig around the archives this time and expose some funnies from other people this time. What I found was some real gems and I so have to expose them. I have to say this, I laughed a ton when I read these and I am sure … (12 comments)
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jokes: Laughter is great. - A recap of my funny blogs for the first 4 months - 01/12/08 09:59 AM
Prior to my 200th post that I am saving for a special post, I wanted to do a recap of all the jokes that I have ever done here on ActiveRain so that anyone that wanted to could bookmark them for easy access. I know that you can click on the … (22 comments)
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jokes: The Redneck Test - 01/10/08 03:06 PM
*Disclaimer* I had no part of writing the Redneck Jokes.*
OK, I know that many of you have heard of this a thousand times. But, it never gets old. Now, we all know that Jeff Foxworthy is the creator and master of all "You might be a redneck if" jokes. So, grab … (72 comments)
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jokes: Funnies Recap - Version 1.10 - 01/10/08 08:57 AM
If you are anything like me, sometimes you get so busy that you missed some of the funny things that go on here in the Rain. Well, about 2 weeks ago, by good friend Rick, better know as BLR Guy ask me if I would do a recap series of the … (13 comments)
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jokes: 2 Jokes for Friday - HAPPY FRIDAY (issue #12) - 01/04/08 11:56 AM
… (23 comments)
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jokes: The Funnies Recap - 01/03/08 06:04 PM
My good friend Rick, better know as BLR guy ask me if I would like to do a recap of some of the funniest jokes on ActiveRain. So, I told him that I would not mind sitting in a doing this as I love to make people laugh. I got that … (5 comments)
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jokes: The Hunter and the Funeral Procession - 12/29/07 01:15 PM
The winter months seems to bring out the best in most people. This is no different in the story of the hunter and the funeral procession. When I got to the end, I never expected what I read. I hope that this will bring a smile to your face once again … (10 comments)
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jokes: 2 Jokes for Friday - HAPPY FRIDAY (issue #11) - 12/28/07 10:53 AM
… (9 comments)
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jokes: Grandma on Birth Control. (Today's funny) - 12/27/07 10:07 AM
If you are like me, you love your Grandmothers. When mine was alive, I always looked forward to Sunday dinner at her house or the great grandmother's home. I could not wait to bite into one of her home made biscuits or the fried chicken.
Today, I was sent this hilarious … (31 comments)
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jokes: Let me help you laugh. ( A Paying it Forward Production) - 12/26/07 04:21 PM
Too many times we get caught up in the Doom and Gloom world that we live in and sometimes we need to get out of that doom and gloom place. i went looking for something to laugh at today and decided that I wanted to put together a collection of some … (8 comments)
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jokes: 2 Jokes for Friday - HAPPY FRIDAY (issue #10) - 12/21/07 11:50 AM
… (14 comments)
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jokes: 20 Ways to Confuse Santa Claus......please add your own! - 12/11/07 12:14 PM
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. … (1 comments)
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jokes: A Funny Holiday Blog. - 12/10/07 04:52 PM
With all the sadness that is around the world, I thought that I would share some Holiday cheer for all to enjoy. There is an assortment of different cartoons, so enjoy them all. I am sure there is at least one that can make you smile. And if not, I will … (48 comments)
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jokes: You might be a New Englander! - 12/08/07 12:19 PM
I'm proud to be a New Englander!!
Forget Rednecks .......here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about New Englanders... If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you live in New England . If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, … (9 comments)
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jokes: Funny things said by Sports Figures - 12/05/07 08:04 AM
I did one of these before a month ago and everyone loved it. It is amazing what people will say when a microphone is put in front of them. When I read these quotes, I knew that I had to share them with all the people here in ActiveRain and for … (19 comments)
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jokes: Holiday Humor - 12/04/07 11:06 PM
Hey, fellow Rainers, thought you might like these. Leave your comments on where I can find other ones too. I thought they were funny. Enjoy!
… (3 comments)
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jokes: Letters to a Landord... (just for fun:o) - 12/03/07 06:54 PM
Excerpts from actual letters sent to landlords...
The toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children until it is cleared. I want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires and burnt my knob off. This is to let you know that there is a smell coming from the … (10 comments)
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jokes: If you are caught sleeping at your desk... (just for fun) - 12/03/07 06:41 PM
10. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to."
8. "Whew! Guess I left the top off the whiteout. You probably got here just in time!"
7. "I wasn't sleeping! I … (10 comments)
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jokes: Commentatotrs Should Think Before Speaking. (today's Funny) - 12/01/07 08:58 PM
Have you ever wondered if you could be a commentator? Just never thought that you could put enough words together to make a complete sentence to make sense of it?
Well, I am here to tell you that it does not take a rocket scientist to be one. After you read … (32 comments)
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jokes: Funny kid stories - 11/29/07 07:23 PM
Funny story: My 4 year old daughter was in the back of the car and said 'mama, on Springer...' during which pause my husband and I look at each other wondering who is letting our kid watch Jerry Springer! She continues 'on springer, can we go to the water park?' I assume … (1 comments)
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jokes: BLOG wasteland - 11/28/07 02:01 PM
Last night I wa sgoing back and reviewing some of the view first BLOGS that I wrote and was pondering what I did not do then that I am doing now and why my post are growing each and every day. A lot of what I see is not what I … (16 comments)
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jokes: Have some fun this Holiday Season! - 11/26/07 01:15 PM
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. (If this does not make you Smile, then what will? )As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some … (0 comments)
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jokes: Earl's Poems (found) --11-24-07 - 11/25/07 09:39 AM
Here are some poems and quick, funny jokes that I got sent to me this morning and I thought I would share them. The poems are about Forgiveness, Trust and Who's The Boss; while the jokes are about men and women, email, and frogs. Interesting list I know, but, I think … (4 comments)
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jokes: Spelinlg Msitakes Mdae Esay - 11/20/07 09:11 PM
Read it all the way ... if yuo cna : )
Olny srmat poelpe can raed tihs. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers … (4 comments)
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jokes: Top 8 Worst Marketing Mistakes - 11/20/07 04:21 PM
It's always good to check into the meaning of your slogans and brands before you start selling in foreign countries, as these companies learned a bit too late...
1. The Dairy Association's huge success with the campaign "Got Milk?" prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their … (6 comments)
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jokes: YOU KNOW IT'S BAD WHEN...Baltimore Ravens - 11/20/07 01:58 PM
I GOT THIS EMAIL TODAY AND I USUALLY DON'T DO THIS, BUT I FELT COMPELLED WITH THIS ONE SINCE I ACTUALLY LAUGHED OUT LOUD WHEN I READ IT!
Be careful not to speed in Baltimore, the police are handing out Ravens tickets. Q: What's the difference between the Ravens and … (9 comments)
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jokes: Miami Dolphins sign a new Wide Receiver. (today's funny) - 11/20/07 11:06 AM
Hot off the press today, Miami has a new wide receiver. It is unbelievable what this wide receiver can do. It is said that he just walked in at the end of the practice session. Will this give the Dolphins the much needed talent to achieve their first win of there … (23 comments)
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jokes: Thanksgiving Guest List. (today's funny) - 11/19/07 05:08 PM
For all of you that have been invited to dine with us, I need to alert you to one of our guest that due to unforeseen circumstances, she will not be able to attend this wonderful Thanksgiving feast that we have put together. I am still looking forward to seeing all … (39 comments)
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jokes: "Parents: Job Description" FUNNY Thoughts Entering Thanksgiving - 11/17/07 09:45 AM
Hello all,
This year as we enter the thanksgiving season, we are focusing on giving thanks for being Parents. Having taken a few moments to send out our family prayers for good fortune to our family and friends, I received this great email forward.
With so many working professional parents in … (1 comments)
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jokes: Happy Thanksgiving to all (today's funny) - 11/16/07 10:41 AM
It just would not be a complete week for me if I did not spread some holiday cheer. So, for all you that are down and gloomy, I have put together 3 amazing tells to lighten your day. One of them is sure to bring a smile to your face. And … (13 comments)
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jokes: A little humor to brighten your day - 11/13/07 07:15 AM
It has been a while since I have shared any of these with you and I have had a few people ask if I was going to, so I decided to put one together this morning. I find that in our stressful business, we need to find laughter and I know … (44 comments)
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jokes: Government Employee Evaluations! - 11/09/07 06:18 PM
Quotes from Federal Govt Employee Evaluations
These quotes were taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations..."Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.""His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity""I would not allow this employee to breed""This employee is … (6 comments)
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jokes: Friday Funnies...One Liners - 11/09/07 02:27 PM
One Liners.....
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm
Drink 'till she's cute, but stop before the wedding
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week
I almost had a psychic … (2 comments)
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jokes: After the Squirrel vs. Cat fiasco! - 11/09/07 11:42 AM
Wow...all that stress to get those delicious nuts away from that pesky cat! After an afternoon of hard work our squirrel friend retired to his secret hideaway to some much needed relaxation and stress relief.
Thoughts of sneaky kitty melted away from our squirrel friend's mind as his buddy helped him … (6 comments)
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jokes: Joke of the day - Great One liners - 11/06/07 08:38 PM
We have heard them so many times, but they really never get old. I could sit and read these daily. Wait, half of them I use daily. Not really, just kidding. Some of them are mean, some of them are funny, some of them are true, but none of them are … (15 comments)
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jokes: Real Estate Jokes - 11/05/07 07:04 PM
I know we could all use a good laugh so here we go!
Needing A Raise:
"I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me.""Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telephone … (7 comments)
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jokes: Oldies, but goodies - things to make you laugh. - 11/05/07 06:16 PM
I put together a few jokes to help lighten your load today. It is very healthy to laugh. Laughter activates the chemistry of the will to live and increases our capacity to fight disease. Laughing relaxes the body and reduces problems associated with high blood pressure, strokes, arthritis, and ulcers. The sound … (16 comments)
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jokes: Eye Rollers - 11/03/07 01:59 AM
HAVE A LITTLE FUN"The old west was full of cowboys who were good cow-ordinators. They had consider-a-bull talent, though sometimes they would stirrup trouble. Sometimes they took hay to bed in order to feed their night mares. One cowboy reached for his gun and drew a blank. Eventually they would … (2 comments)
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jokes: Daylight Savings Time - What Will You Do With An Extra Hour? - 11/02/07 06:26 PM
Yep! It's Daylight Savings Time Again. Yay! We get an extra hour all to us for absolutely nothing! Starting Sunday morning at 2:00 AM, we have to roll our clocks back to 1:00 AM. I know we aren't going to jump out of bed at 2 AM to reset the darn … (8 comments)
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jokes: Tom Brady goes to heaven (Colts vs Patriots - another funny for all to enjoy) - 11/02/07 01:05 PM
Tom Brady died and went to heaven. While waiting at the pearly gates to be let in, he saw three massive mansions on the hilltops that we all Blue and white. Tom thought to himself that this was going to be an awesome place to live becuase it had the patriot … (44 comments)
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jokes: Ravens receivers have difficulty adjusting to Steve McNair (today's funny) - 11/02/07 11:35 AM
Hopes are high in Baltimore where the Ravens finally have a legitimate quarterback in Steve McNair. But the former Titans star is having a difficult time developing chemistry with his new receiving corps.
"I just can't get used to McNair's passes," said tight end Todd Heap. "I'm used to having to … (19 comments)
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jokes: A little Real Estate Humor - 11/01/07 08:29 PM
A very successful real estate broker had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my real estate office. All you have … (2 comments)
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jokes: A new Thanksgiving Turkey recipe. (caution: extreme laughter has been know to break out due to this post.) - 11/01/07 12:02 PM
Ok, I know that it is a little early and all to start talking about Thanksgiving being that Halloween was just last night. With that being said, I had to post this. When you use this recipe you will be the talk of the neighborhood. Everyone will talk about your turkey … (35 comments)
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jokes: Biker in hell (today's funny) - 11/01/07 10:09 AM
Seems there was this nasty biker riding his Harley down the icy highway one cold day in Colorado, when he spotted a cat lying in the middle of the road. The biker thought to himself, "I'll cut that cat in two," and he bore down on it hard. As he got … (22 comments)
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jokes: A real Haunted House (today's Funny) - 10/31/07 10:19 AM
When I first saw this, I thought that I would fall out of my chair. It makes me wonder how many people can claim this though. Regardless, it is still hiliarious.
Remember this when you take your kids out tonight. The most frightening homes are the ones that have the adjustable rate … (9 comments)
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jokes: Atlanta Falcons awarded temp custody (today's funny) - 10/30/07 02:37 PM
Atlanta, Ga. (AP) -A nine-year old boy was at the center of a DouglasCounty courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling overwho should have custody of him.The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judgeinitially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child … (9 comments)
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jokes: Football players say the craziest things: (today's funny) - 10/28/07 10:22 AM
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Joe Theismann in 2002. It turns out that Joe Theismann went to high school with a Norman Einstein, who was the class valedictorian.
"Half this game is ninety percent mental" - Danny Ozark, manager of … (18 comments)
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jokes: Football Fan To The Rescue (today's funny) - 10/26/07 10:16 PM
I will end the night with this. I could not resist adding this post after I heard the joke. Especially as much as I love the GIANTS and hate the COWBOYS.
Two boys are playing football in Central Park when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy … (11 comments)
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jokes: FOR ALL, WHO MAY BE HAVING A BAD DAY...(another thing to laugh about) - 10/26/07 07:30 PM
FOR ALL, WHO MAY BE HAVING A BAD DAY.....AND YOU WERE THINKING THAT YOUR DAY WAS GOING TO BE BAD.
I would hate to be in his shoes when he reaches his destination.
Just make sure that you scroll all the way down so that you get the full view.
hen thank your … (30 comments)
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jokes: Ahh the Human Race (today's funny) - 10/25/07 10:56 AM
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No … (15 comments)
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jokes: Twenty Dollars (Warning: This has been known to cause Laughter) - 10/24/07 03:00 PM
On their wedding night, the young brideApproached her new husband and asked for$20.00 for their first sexual encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.This scenario was repeated each time they madeLove, for more than 30 years, with him thinkingthat it was a cute way for her to afford … (15 comments)
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