I’m not shocked and that is so sad. I laughed and I should have cried.

Nothing immoral happen. It wasn’t the crime of the century but it certainly makes you wonder where the world is going.

I was anxious and ready to get my dog home. Dewey is an old dog. He had just had minor surgery and I was ready to get my boy home. Of course, the only real minor surgery is someone else’s or at least someone you don’t know.

Fortunately, Dewey is covered by a pet insurance policy. Standing at the front desk in the vet clinic near our home in Fort Pierce, Florida, I was surrounded by four young ladies in hospital scrubs. One is on the phone, one on a computer, one just drifting and one helping me.

The young lady waiting on me is computing the bill for Dewey’s visit. Finally, she says some figure just over a $1000. She looked at my expression and asked, “Is that what you were expecting.”

I said no and handed her my estimate of $273. Then, I said they removed a cist from Dewey’s underside that was not on the estimate so I knew it would be slightly higher.

She looked at my estimate and went promptly back to work on the computer. A few minutes later she said, “How does $337.37 sound?”

I answered, “That works for me.”

Then, comes the sad part. I had decided to pay in cash so I counted out $340 while she watched. She recounted and placed the money in a cash draw.

All of sudden there was silence. I watched and the problem was as obvious as the snout on my dog.

Finally, the young lady turned and in a tone that was at least frustrated if not irritated exclaimed, “Does anyone have a calculator so I can figure out this change?”

I looked at her and said it’s $2.63. She looked at me thankful and immediately handed me $2.37. I didn’t bother correcting her.

That was last week and Dewey is recovering well. So you don’t have to ask I’ll tell you Dewey is a rescue basset hound that is around 12 and a half.

With our floppy eared, big snouted and giant pawed hound on the mend, yesterday my wife, Christine, and I decided to go to lunch and a movie. At our age it’s lunch and a movie instead of dinner and a movie.

And, no I won’t tell you Christine’s age even if you do ask. However, she is more than a half decade younger then I am.

Christine wanted barbecue so off we went to one of our favorite lunch spots in Vero Beach. The barbecue was good and plentiful. We love their cole slaw. The young lady waiting on us was attentive.

I asked our waitress for the check mentioning we were off to the movies. She politely asked what we were going to see and I replied JEdgar.

She said she hadn’t heard of the movie so I said it was about J. Edgar Hoover.

Her response, “oh, the guy who made the vacuum.”

No. I am not talking about the condition of the real estate market.

Here are a few actual ads that were published in newspapers:

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER 8 years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites!

FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog

FREE PUPPIES Mother, A Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father, Super Dog . . . Able to leap tall fences in a single bound

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer £100

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE Worn once by mistake . . . . Call Stephanie

And the best one:

FOR SALE BY OWNER Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition. £200 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything!

In January statewide condo sales in Florida jumped an amazing 81 percent compared to January 2009. The National Association of Realtors (NAR) figures showed 4631 condos sold in January 2010 compared to 2554 in January, 2009.

According to NAR the medium price for condo in January this year was $97,300 compared to $113,300 in January 2009. Existing home sales increased 24 percent last month with a total of 10,465 homes sold statewide compared to 8,444 homes sold in January 2009.

The medium price for a single family home decreased from $139,400 in 2009 to $130,900 according to (NAR). This amounts to a six percent decrease in 2009. Analysts from NAR state that this is a result of the continued number of foreclosures and short sales. Nationally, the medium sale price for homes rose 1.4 percent.

On the Treasure Coast a large number of real estate buyers are falling into three groups:

First, investors who are buying, renovating and reselling. Almost all of these are cash buyers.

Second home buyers from cold climates such as Canada, the upper mid-west, northeast and even as far south as Virginia and North Carolina. Many of these are cash buyers also although some are making large down payments and taking advantage of low interest rates around five percent.

Third, first time home buyers. Obviously, these buyers have been influenced positively by the tax credit program, low interest rates and FHA or Rural Housing finance programs.

An additional bonus for Florida residents is the drop in property tax assessments. Florida’s existing home sales rose dramatically in 2010 while the decline in home prices dropped only six They can now lock into the Florida three percent maximum Homestead Exemption increase as a beginning tax base significantly lower than previous years.

Most out-or-area buyers unknowingly benefit also now that the maximum property tax increase they can receive in one year is limited to five percent. Five percent may seem high but it certainly beats the 10 to 20 percent increases early in the last decade.

Real estate professionals are working harder, longer hours and with more clients than ever. Because of the low prices, they must now sell two or three homes to earn the same living as five years ago.

Fannie Mae has reached a new low when it comes to ethics. I am one real estate broker who is fed-up with Fannie Mae.

I am also fed up with a federal government that keeps backing them. It’s time to shut-down Fannie Mae. They are either corrupt, inept or both.

Last week I received an addendum to a contract from Fannie Mae. It was blank with lots of spaces to be filled in. In fact, 15 pages of fill-in-the-blank. That’s great for school quizzes; not so great for contracts. Does Fannie Mae really expect people to initial and sign blank contracts?

Based on the previous purchase and sales agreement negotiated with Fannie Mae, I filled in the blanks. The catch is that Fannie Mae will negotiate terms of a contract but they do not sign the contract. They are government created and above professional business practices. They are just too important and too busy.

When this contract was returned signed by Fannie Mae, it contained numerous changes from the negotiated agreement. The instructions were for the buyers to initial and return. The buyers refused and within hours came to terms on another home.

Within 24 hours (Fannie Mae took two weeks) the selling bank’s addendums were presented. There were no blanks and the info in the addendum was the same as negotiated.

I have written my Congressman, Tom Rooney and appreciate that his office contacted me. I have the impression the Congressman agrees with my view of Fannie Mae. But, I have yet to see any action.

Congress needs to stop talking about how bad Fannie Mae is and just get rid of them. Parents are suppose to show tough love when their kids need it. Well US Congress, Fannie Mae is your child. Get tough or get out of office.

Mortgage lenders made some very bad loans and then, compounded these bad decisions by stubbornly refusing to negotiate with homeowners.

Lenders continued to show arrogance by failing to negotiate with borrowers or prospective buyers and this greed has slowed the housing market to a crawl and pushed our nation's economy to the verge of collapse.

 Instead of a bailout where lenders are the primary beneficiaries let's reverse the role by bailing out homeowners; not that they deserve it but because it is necessary to keep our economy solvent.

 Of course, the lenders would be saved in the process, not that they deserve it either but because of the danger financial collapse would have on all Americans especially those in or near retirement.

 Instead of giving $700 billion to the banks and mortgage companies how about passing legislation as follows:

 Anyone who mortgaged a home purchased between January 1, 2003 and December 31, 2007 would receive from their lender 20 percent off of the purchase price to be credited towards their mortgage balance.

 This includes all homeowners who purchased during that period and have met their obligation. These responsible property owners need to be able to compete in the market place if they decide to sell their properties. Without this they would unfairly be burdened with mortgage balances above true value.

Their responsible handling of credit obligations would be rewarded not punished.  But, even more important they would have spendable cash to spend boosting the overall economy.

Additionally, mortgage holders would forgive all missed payments and late fees. This is one of the sacrifices to restart the cash flow to their institutions through mortgage payments.

Next, mortgage holders would receive a new 30 year fixed rate loan at six percent. No plan will work if payments are not affordable.

Mortgage holders would have 60 days to accept or decline the terms. If accepted they would be required to make all payments on time for the next three years or until they sold the property.

 These loans would also be assumable one time by buyers but any profit from the sale would be taxed at 100 percent.

 If a property owner did not apply and accept these terms, they could instead hand the deed over to the mortgage holder and walk away from the property without further obligation. The bank would then be free to sell the property on the open market.

 If the property owner failed to meet the new mortgage obligation the terms of the loan would revert to the original mortgage. A court order would be issued against the borrower for the entire amount of the debt. We are giving borrowers a second chance, not a third or fourth chance.

 This is only a short synopsis of this plan.

 Why is this plan better than the proposed $700 billion bailout?

 First, the greatest beneficiary is the homeowner.

 Second, banks benefit because they would begin receiving monthly payments or have a commodity to sell.

 And, finally nowhere in this proposal did the federal government need to give away $700 million dollars of taxpayers money.

Help me find the perfect front porch to rock myself into retirement. I’m turning 60 real soon and I think it time to get serious about where I want to retire.

Most people might think that is an easy question but I lived some great places and know that in our beautiful country we have so many great choices.

So, here is my challenge. I want to find the best home to live my retirement. I have only one item that is an absolute. The home must have a front porch with room for a few rockers and a spot for my hound.

Don’t think for a second that I am putting my dog before my wife. One of the rockers will be for her but since she is younger, she’ll have to work a bit after I retire.

It seems fair to me that if I started work first I should get to retire first. Right? Maybe?

It would be great to hear from people all over the country. Send some pics and just tell me why you think I would love your home. Hopefully, a lot of people will read the posts and you will get some exposure as well as have some fun.

Again, I am approaching this with an open mind – some might say an empty mind. The home can be in a big city, little city or no city. It can be on top of a mountain or sitting in the dessert.

Don’t worry about what I like. I want to know what you think is great. This way I can take advantage of a lot of sharper minds than mine.

I’ll be honest. I have a budget but so what. I’ll just dream about the one’s I can’t afford. At 60 one thing I have learned, never be afraid to dream, and never let anyone steal your dreams.

Please pass this blog around and let’s find some great front porches together.

It’s bad enough that a Judge in Tallahassee is so far removed from the Florida voters that he thinks at best they are confused. Now, the State Legislature and Governor are about to add insult to injury by proposing a property tax reform amendment written to help those who are already benefiting the most while ignoring the needs of the majority of homeowners.

Doubling the homestead exemption from $25,000 to $50,000 is a whopping $250.  This is insulting. However, those homeowners who tax burden is artificially low and has been shifted to the backs of new resident homeowners, second home owners and investors will be able to carry their oversized exemption provided by Save Our Homes to new property they purchase.

This means that non-homestead property owners and property owners who have bought property since around 2003 will not only have to continue supplementing a minority of property owners but the amount of that supplement will increase.

Save Our Home proponents would have you believe any change would tax grandpa and grandma out of their home when in reality the common man/woman property taxpayer is supplementing ocean front home owners and other wealthy estate owners whose tax increases are locked-in to a three percent yearly increase.

Property owners that bought homes for a $100,000, now own homes worth double or triple that amount. The same increase in value exists for those who purchased $300,000 or $400,000 homes now worth a $1 million or more. And, you can bet that not one of these owners contributes one penny of their huge capital gains from selling their property to help the overburdened majority of property taxpayers.

Just the opposite. They want to make huge profits from selling their existing home and then be able to transfer their huge exemptions to a new home so that they can continue to pay less taxes and make greater capital gains.

Phasing out Save Our Homes as written in the original proposed amendment would have protected the current homestead property owners – particularly grandpa and grandma - while providing equality in property taxation to all owners of homestead property. It should be noted that residential property tax owners now pay 67% of all property taxes while in 1974 they paid only 39%.

Now, with the help of a few greedy mayors, a far-away judge and a kowtowing State Legislator, government will continue to work hard to help the few at the expense of the majority taxpayer. If the judge thinks Florida voters are confused, the Legislature must think voters are just stupid.

How would you tell a client that they most likely have lost $1000, $10,000, $50,000 or even more? That’s the dilemma facing many agents in Indian River County this week.

Coastal Escrow of Vero Beach, has stopped operation and announced that any checks written by the escrow company would not clear banks.

A couple days later the State seized documents and computer equipment of Coastal Escrow. The owner, attorney Ira Hatch, voluntary surrendered his law license for ten years after the Florida Bar moves for an emergency suspension. However, Hatch is still licensed to practice law in New York.

Local newspapers reported that a State official said about $3 million is not available and the investigation could take months. This figure not only includes deposits on homes but rental security deposits and rents.

In Florida licensed real estate professionals are regulated by the Department of Business and Professional Regulation Division of Real Estate. Title companies are regulated by the Department of Banking and Finance. However, it seems anyone in Florida can setup an escrow account. Unbelievable!

As far as closings go, I know many real estate agents are paying the lost funds out of their commissions. I know others have written personal checks to cover client’s losses. I have no idea who is legally responsible but I expect it varies based on individual cases and disclosures.

Now the inevitable has happened. A lawsuit has been filed against a brokerage and individual agent stating that the brokerage received “kickbacks” and both brokerage and agent were negligent. For an industry already down this is a nightmare.

A reality check for all real estate professionals who have monies in escrow would be a very good idea. Make certain that whoever you are dealing with is bonded or insured.

This is such a negative for our industry that I published and then withdrew this blog. But, it would be wrong not to make other real estate professionals aware of a potential devastating loophole in escrow regulation.

For more information you can go to www.tcpalm.com and search keywords Coastal Escrow.

The “real estate diva” not only can’t help but now she doesn’t even want to be kept informed. She told me she doesn’t have time. It’s like this transaction doesn’t exist.

How dumb of me to even expect that she might care? If she didn’t return my telephone calls when I was presenting my clients offer, (refer to my blog of August 8) why did I think she would want to know that this deal is going to Hades in a hand basket.

Hold on! Wait! A thought occurred! It’s a commission; a payday. It’s money for the bills, the mortgage or in my divas case a diamond to stick on the end of her long skyward bound nose.

We have a contract. My client has cash. We are suppose to close Thursday but she doesn’t care that the closing attorney’s office isn’t returning phone calls, answering emails, hasn’t provided a title commitment or even shown the courtesy of an explanation.

It’s a foreclosure and her lender client is paying title and thus selected the attorney. If a problem exists with the title search or whatever, then let us know. Give us the professional courtesy of being informed.

If the foreclosing lender was my client, I would be letting them know that their title attorneys are about to blow the deal or at a minimum cost them a price concession. But, that’s just me.

Never have I worked with a group that is so undeserving of receiving their pay. They are so lucky that my client is buying this house to be her home. She’s a nice lady but just this once I wish she was an overbearing abusive investor yelling, screaming and demanding action.

I wish she was berating me up and down and demanding I tell them all to go to Hades or where to stick their home. I just hate that I have such a bad attitude and I’m not able to use it.

And, then there was the realtor from one county north that called me last night just before 8, put me on hold while he took another call and never came back. This wasn’t someone I knew. He wasn’t someone I ever met. He was someone that has a license and is suppose to be a professional.

I know what you are asking. Yes, I have his number in my caller id. It’s 5:00 am as I sit here. Maybe I should give him a buzz. I’m not going to but God have mercy on him if he ever calls back.

Welcome to Harbour Isle on South Hutchinson Island in Fort Pierce, Florida. Come to the less crowded and more affordable Florida. Made of solid concrete construction Harbour Isle was built in 2005 and sold out in one day. Now, you can take advantage of the buyers' real estate market to invest in your piece of paradise for as low as $110 per square foot. That's not a typo. This Hutchinson Island community has 1970 square feet units starting in the low $200s.

You can walk to restaurants, shopping and historic downtown Fort Pierce. The uncrowded beaches are only a mile away.

Most units overlook water including the beautiful Indian River Lagoon (intracoastal), the on-site marina, the ocean inlet or the channel to the marina. You will be able to cruise to the ocean in minutes from the protected marina.

Don't wait. Resales have never been priced lower. Do you really want to wait until the market goes up? For more information contact Randy Chapman at 772-532-2121 or email me at RandyJChapman@msn.com. And, visit my website at www.RandyJChapman.com to find more great values on Florida's Treasure Coast.