maurice cohn's (vipermoe) Blog

4 men were sitting in a room together being interviewed for a new job. The interviewer told the men "I am going to ask you each one question".Turning to the first man the interview asks "What is the fastest thing you can think of and why?"The first man thinks for a moment and replies "A thought, ...

This is definitely a NEW AGE Confucius !Confucius says.....Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly.Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts.Man who leaps off cliff jumps to co...

A woman is sitting on the veranda with her husband and she says, "I love you."He asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?"She replies, "It's me............. talking to the wine."

My wife found out that our dog (a Schnauzer) could hardly hear, so she took it to the veterinarian.The vet found that the problem was hair in the dog's ears. He cleaned both ears, and the dog could then hear fine.The vet then proceeded to tell Andrea that, if she wanted to keep this from recurrin...

You think English is easy??? Read to the end .. . . A new twist1) The bandage was wound around the wound. 2) The farm was used to produce produce . 3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.4) We must polish the Polish furniture.5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.6) The...

A guy goes to the Post Office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer says, "That will give you ...

The Secret to a Long and Happy Marriage. A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary on the beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. People would say, "What a peaceful & loving couple". The local newspaper reporter was inquiring...

After experiencing the discomfort and embarrassment of a prostate test on the National Health Service, a friend of mine decided to have his next test carried out while visiting in San Francisco where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating. As usual he was asked to strip off...

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose.  Last night she used me to time an egg.It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass!Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming h...

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt ...