In a series on home security, I included some tips on making your home more secure.  This post is a more light hearted list of things that you can leave right on the counter or in full view of all your windows every day and hope against hope that there will be a break-in and they will be gone.

 

  1. That set of melamine dishes that your mother-in-law forced you to take home three years ago.
  2. The big popcorn machine in the basement that spits more grannies than those that live in the old folks’ home.
  3. Your husband’s complete set of 8 Track tapes of Waylong Jennings tunes but you are a Good Hearted Woman so you won’t  - but you want to.
  4. The fabulous bread maker with which you spent months developing and perfecting bread recipes only to find that you are gluten intolerant and now have a hip size the same as your age.
  5. The $400 laser hair remover that so far has only zapped you silly but left a chin full of hairs – hairolding its failure.
  6. The talking bathroom scale that daily destroys what little confidence and happiness you started out with at 7:00AM.
  7. The nine cameras you have that still use film that no store carries.   There are no “brownie” points for keeping everything.
  8. The dot matrix printer that needs special perforated paper and ear plugs when it runs.   This printer is not johnny on the dot when it comes to printing.
  9. The set of tires you have in the garage that fit the Crown Vic your dad drove and then sold but gave you the tires.  Crown Vic???  Don’t police departments still have them?
  10. The lawn ornaments you collected from garage sales but now you hate.   Why hasn’t anyone walked away with them yet?  Do you really need to ask?
  11. Your university textbooks from 30 years ago.  Do you really think you are going to need to know how to conjugate French verbs?  Mais oui ou mais non? Je suis, Tu es, il est, elle est.  There are some things you will never forget.

 

I am sure we all have things that would not be missed if suddenly someone wanted them and took them.  Sad but true.  You might want to spend this long weekend looking at your stuff and deciding what you can toss or donate so that

you are not depending upon a break in for a break up with your stuff. 

 

Other, more serious, posts on home security:

 Where NOT to hide your Jewels and Cash in the House

Keep Wandering Children in the House and Burglars Out

Security Cameras, Motion Sensor Triggers, Ladders and Neighbours

Talk Radio May Be Worth Your Diamonds - Home Security

Behind Curtain #1 - The Family Automobiles. Are you home?

Mr. Burglar: My key is hidden under the mat or under the flower pot 

Photo credit: Brownie Starlet

 

Valerie Zinger  valeriezinger@gmail.com 

Ottawa, Canada      613-859-7759

 

 
Star Posted by Valerie Zinger on 05/24/2013 05:32 AM   Comments (72)   Just for Fun in the ActiveRain Channel   zingers, humour, home security  
Short URL: http://actvra.in/WdW

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