(FUNNY) GLOSSARY OF REAL ESTATE TERMS

What you see is not necessarily what you get when it comes to real estate ads.  Here's a glossary that might help:

WHEN YOU READ                                              IT MEANS

Luxury Living                                                    Overpriced

Great Starter Home                                           One Room With a Toilet

Well Below Market                                             Nobody Else Wants It

Plenty of Parking                                               Stadium Across the Street

Extra Storage                                                    Four Hooks

Sunken Tub                                                     Floor Unlevel

Gated Community                                             Bad Neighborhood

Rent With Option to Buy                                     Been on the Market for Two Years

Cathedral Ceiling                                              A Bear to Heat

Nighttime Security                                             Street Lights Shine into All Windows

Safe Neighborhood                                            Nosy Neighbors

Executive Neighborhood                                     Everyone's Last Name is JONES

Victorian Sweetheart                                          Strip 8 Layers of Paint Then Steam off the Wallpaper

Shows Well                                                       Be Prepared to Remove Your Shoes

Immaculate                                                      Remove Shoes. Tip Toe In.

Commuter's Dream                                           At the Bottom of the Off-Ramp

Nice Condition                                                   Get Out The Paint

Quaint                                                              Better Buy a Wallpaper Steamer

Will Help Finance                                               Owners Know They're Asking Too Much

Reduced To Move                                              Been on the Market for Two Years

Prime Location                                                  Ask Price While Sitting Down

Close to Schools                                                Busses Go Up and Down Your Street All Day

Everything's Been Updated                                  But the House Has Been Condemned

Natural Setting                                                  You'll Spend Your Weekends Doing Yard Work

Handyman Special                                             Forget It!