Children in Church

 
                    
                     A little boy was in a relative's wedding.  
 
                      As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, 
 
                    stop, and turn to the crowd. 
 
                    While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up
                    like claws and roar. 
                    So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR,
                    all the way down the aisle. 
 
                     As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from
                     laughing so hard 
 
                     by the time he reached the pulpit. 
 
                     When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and
                     said, 
 
                     "I was being the Ring Bear." 

                    
                     One Sunday in a Midwest City , 
 
                     a young child was "acting up" during the
                     morning worship hour. 
 
                     The parents did their best to maintain some sense of
                     order in the pew 
 
                     but were losing the battle. 
 
                       Finally, the father picked the little fellow up 
 
                     and walked sternly up the aisle on his way out. 
 
                          Just before reaching the safety of the foyer, 
 
                     the little one called loudly to the congregation, 
 
                    "Pray for me! Pray for me!" 

                    
                     One particular four-year old prayed, 
 
                     "And forgive us our trash baskets 
 
                     as we forgive those who put trash in our
                     baskets." 

                    
                     A little boy was overheard praying: 
 
                     "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
                     don't worry about it. 
 
                     I'm having a real good time like I am." 

                    
                     A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they
                      were on the way to church service, 
 
                     "And why is it necessary to be quiet in
                      church?" 
 
                           One bright little girl replied, "Because
                           people are sleeping."

                    
                     A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with
                     fascination,  
 
                     looking at the old pages as he turned them. 
 
                         Then something fell out of the Bible. 

                     He picked it up and looked at it closely. 

                     It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed
                     in between the pages. 
 
                     "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. 

                     "What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked. 
 
                           With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, 
 
                     "It's Adam 's suit". 

                    
                       The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mike, 
 
                     and as he preached, he moved briskly about the platform, 
 
                      jerking the mike cord as he went. 
 
                          Then he moved to one side, 
 
                     getting wound up in the cord and nearly tripping
                     before jerking it again. 
 
                          After several circles and jerks, 
 
                     a little girl in the third pew leaned toward her
                     mother and whispered, 
 
                      "If he gets loose, will he hurt us?" 

                    
                     Six-year old Angie , and her four-year old brother,
                     Joel , were sitting together in church.    
 
                     Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. 
 
                     Finally, his big sister had had enough. 
 
                     "You're not supposed to talk out loud in
                      church." 
 
                     "Why? Who's going to stop me?" he asked. 
 
                     Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, 
 
                     "See those two men standing by the door? 
 
                     They're hushers.."  

                    
                       My grandson was visiting one day when he asked , 
 
                     "Grandma, do you know how you and God are like?" 
 
                           I mentally polished my halo, while I asked, 
 
                     "No, how are we alike?" 
 
                     "You're both old," he replied. 

                    
                     A ten-year old, under the tutelage of her grandmother

                    was becoming quite knowledgeable about the Bible. 
                    Then, one day, she floored her grandmother by asking, 
 
                     "Which Virgin was the mother of Jesus ? The
                      virgin Mary or the  King James Virgin ?" 

                    
                      A Sunday school class was studying the Ten
                      Commandments. 
 
                          They were ready to discuss the last one. 
 
                          The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. 
 
                          Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, 
 
                     "Thou shall not take the covers off the
                       neighbor's wife."