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It's My Birthday And I'll Cry If I Want To

By
Home Stager with Sharon Tara Transformations

Actually it was my birthday yesterday, not today, but that is not the point. 

The point is "why would I want to cry" on my birthday? 

When I turned thirty, about a hundred years ago,  my family had a big surprise party for me and although my neighbors were there, my closest friends were there and most of my family was there...there was one very important person missing. 

My nana, Ida WaymanMy grandmother was not able to attend. 

My uncle, John, is a photographer and he videotaped my party. 

As an extra surprise, he visited my grandmother and taped a special message from her to me, which he added to my copy of the tape.

I didn't realize at the time just how much of a gift this was. 

 

Thirteen years ago on February 1, Nana died and two months later on March 30 I popped in the video and sat crying as she sang happy birthday to me...in her special way...just like she always did.

Every year since, on my birthday I receive a gift that most people would kill for...I am still able to share my birthday with a loved one who is no longer here.  It makes me cry, but it is a good cry.

I was really disappointed when she wasn't at that party, but I now realize that if she had been there that day, this video would never have been made.  

Not having Nana there for that birthday ended up meaning that she would be with me for every other birthday...that's what I consider a wonderful trade!

Comments(27)

Bob Foster
Century 21 Lanthorn R. E. Ltd. Belleville, Ontario - Belleville, ON

That's the very best kind of crying, Sharon. What a wonderful gift!

Mar 31, 2009 02:25 PM
Sheila Kennedy
J29 Project - Rochester, NY

Wow!  That is wonderful, Sharon, to have that gift.  I remember  when my husband was going to be deployed for an extended period of time we spent hours making videos of him reading her favorite books out loud, with good night kisses, etc, - just in case he didn't come home.  That Christmas while he was away, I purchased a digital photo album that recorded voice messages.  I took all kinds of pictures of her and then she talked about them or sang a song in her little three year old voice.  We treasure that album today.  Preserving memories - especially via video and voice recordings are so precious - we should all think to do it more often.

Hope you had a fabulous day yesterday!  Thanks again for sharing!

Mar 31, 2009 02:43 PM
Lee & Carol Barbour, REALTORS
Murphy and Hayesville, NC; Hiawassee, Blairsville, Blue Ridge GA - Murphy, NC
Mountain Living Team in Murphy NC and North GA

What a wonderful birthday present of memories that last for years to come.

Mar 31, 2009 02:55 PM
Amber Kincaid, Michigan Home Stager
A.R.K. Staging and Design - West Bloomfield, MI

Sharon what a gift that keeps on giving that you can treasure every year. So sweet. Thanks for sharing.

Mar 31, 2009 04:57 PM
Karen Nardella
The Emporium Your Home for Elegant Resale - Conway, NH

Hi Sharon

What a wonderful gift your uncle prepared for you.  She will always be close for his effort.  Blessings appear everyday.  This is indeed grand.  Happy Birthday to you.  A friend in the north.  Karen Nardella

Apr 01, 2009 03:26 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Russ: I doubt he realized just what a gift it would be, when he took the video. I treasure it!

Apr 01, 2009 06:56 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Missy:  It's not really something we think about until it is too late.  When my daughter was a baby, I bought a large book of fairy tales and I had the four grandparents and two great grandmothers each read a story on audio tape, ringing a bell to signal when to turn the page.  My husband and I each did a story too.  I wasn't really thinking of the future when I made the tape...I just wanted my baby to hear familiar voices when she looked through the book.  Now that 28 years and four of those people have passed, the tape is even more valuable.

Apr 01, 2009 07:02 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Pat:  I'm so grateful that I have it. 

Bob & Carolin:  She was very special.  She had a great sense of humor and loved her family very much.

Hannah:  That's the problem with tradition...you get used to someone calling and then when they are gone, it is so painful to not have that call.

Apr 01, 2009 07:06 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Lourdes:  Thank you for the birthday wishes.  I connected with several people I hadn't talked to in awhile...it was nice.

Patricia:  Thank you.  You are right, they are happy tears.  I haven't been sleeping well lately, and I've gotten pretty busy, you may be able to forge ahead and keep the lead this week!

Apr 01, 2009 07:10 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Bob:  It does feel good...there is a comfort afterwards, it's a good release.  Thank you!

Sheila:  I wish I could hear my voice when I was three!  She is so lucky to have that.  I can't imagine the emotional strain you must have been under taping "daddy" in case he didn't come back...how horrible.  It must have been awful for him to leave his little girl (and you too of course) behind.

Apr 01, 2009 07:13 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Lee & Carol and Amber:  It's one of the best gifts I could have.  It's like cheating death.  Now that Nana is on Utube, I don't have to worry about something happening to the tape.  She will always be available now!

Karen:  Blessing is exactly what it is.  If she had been at my party, the tape would not have been made.  Thanks!

Apr 01, 2009 07:17 AM
Laraine Shape
Comey & Shepherd Realtors - Glendale, OH
Selling Cincinnati...one kitchen at a time

Sharon - Okay, now you've got me crying. What a nice gift to have.  One that will last your lifetime.  Thanks for sharing this post and happy belated birthday!  Laraine/Ralph

Apr 01, 2009 11:56 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Laraine:  Another softy!  I am very emotional and tend to cry easily.  It's a family trait. Nana was the same and when she would get emotional and teary eyed (like reading a card) she would say "damn this softness."  It tells me you are a sensitive and caring person.  Thanks for the birthday wishes.

Apr 01, 2009 12:19 PM
Pat Starnes-Front Gate Realty
Front Gate Real Estate - Brandon, MS
601-991-2900 Office; 601-278-4513 Cell

What a great gift, the one that keeps on giving. I know you enjoy it whenever you are missing your Nana, not just on your birthday. Happy belated birthday, Sharon!

Apr 02, 2009 09:22 AM
Judy Schneider
eXp Realty - Bellingham, WA

Happy Birthday Sharon,

She is adorable! I don't know her and it is not my birthday and I cried. Wonderful way to remember someone. Thank You for sharing it!!!

Apr 02, 2009 09:40 AM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Pat:  Thank you so much!

Judy:  I am touched that you were so touched!  Thanks for letting me know!

Apr 02, 2009 11:42 AM
Debbie Walsh
SHAHAR Management - Middletown, NY
Hudson Valley NY Real Estate 845.283-3036

Happy Belated Sharon!  What a beautiful post!

  

Apr 02, 2009 12:41 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Debra:  Thank you.  I miss her, she was a wonderful lady!

Apr 07, 2009 07:42 AM
Debi Ernst
St. Charles County, Missouri - Prudential Alliance Realtors - O'Fallon, MO
GRI, e-PRO, Broker/Sales Associate

 Sharon - That is so very special.   She reminds me of my own grandmother... :)

Apr 07, 2009 02:14 PM
Sharon Tara
Sharon Tara Transformations - Portsmouth, NH
Retired New Hampshire Home Stager

Debi:  Well then, your grandmother must be very special too!

Apr 07, 2009 02:21 PM