Special offer

Are You Battling The Green Eyed Monster?

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

MonsterI see this happen all the time lately. In some of the larger Real Estate franchises one agent pits themself over the other with higher production. Does that make them necessarily a better agent? Well it does mean they sell more houses during the year compared to another agent/team/group. Then the rankings go up on the board. Susie is #1 for the city, John #2, Cynthia #3, and so on. While raw numbers and rankings are good from knowing what is happening in an area and provides friendly competition, it draws out an ugly side of life as well.

             Are You Battling The Green Eyed Monster?

You know what I am talking about here. Jealousy. This problem in all our lives can be seen just about everywhere you look. She's better looking than me. He makes more money. That person is so much more popular than I ever will be. They always win all the Group awards at my office. This is getting so old and I am sick of hearing about it each month at our Realtor office meetings. Look on Active Rain, a social networking site which for contribution purposes tracks your time here with points. Oh Melissa in my county has 75,000 points. I have only 20,000. I have to beat her and rise in the rankings. Everything she writes about is worthless anyway. I'm better than her. Do you see where jealousy takes you down this very dark path? Is someone with 150,000 points a BETTER person or necessarily smarter than someone with 30,000 points? Are they a Member Active Rain god? At some stage it is all pointless when you think about it if not downright silly.

Eye of WomanJealousy starts in our heart. It is not something easily dismissed. Like handling temptation you have to DEAL WITH IT. From the early biblical days of Cain and Abel the brothers where one murdered the other over a sacrificial offering, jealousy is VERY REAL and powerful.

It can be even stronger in women with higher levels of emotion. It has its roots in anger. It comes from thinking scarcity and not abundance. Men can be very jealous of others from a competitive standpoint. You feel you are lacking something or WANT what someone else has.

The real truth is that you are not lacking anything. Take money for example. Yes, dollar wise your bank account may not be as big as that other fellow, but you have other riches in your life like love and family and friends and God which rust can't touch and moths can't destroy. Much of jealousy stems from self-esteem issues. Sure we say we feel good about ourselves, but then why are we acting this way? Something is not right inside. It can be about control. Are we too controlling and need to let go? All are forms of insecurity. It is not easy being emotionally healthy for any of us, but in today's complex world here are some ideas to help out:

Children Kiss

Catch yourself falling into a situation of being jealous and say STOP.

Check your attitude in the mirror each day.

Don't compare yourself to others which will lead to misery.

Compete only with yourself.

Say I am OK as I am just as I am right now.

Say I am loved. Because you are.

Don't let the Green Eyed Monster ever sweep you away in his tentacles. You are so much better than that. Be the BEST YOU and you will have all you need in life.

Mary Douglas
United Country Ponderosa Realty, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado - Red Feather Lakes, CO
REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

Hi Gary, Professional Jealousy is one of the worst..it will take down an office as well as the individuals, you are so right on with this post. Envy is one of the deadly sins, right? Great post, thank you for your insight!

Apr 04, 2009 08:26 AM
Chris Ann Cleland
Long and Foster Real Estate - Gainesville, VA
Associate Broker, Bristow, VA

Gary:  I love my office because we actually help one another out.  There isn't a lot of jealousy floating around.  We root for one another, and it makes us all better in the end. 

Apr 04, 2009 08:34 AM
Don Rogers
Keller Williams Realty Chesterfield - O'Fallon, MO
Realtor, Broker, CDPE, GRI, OnullFallon MO & St Charles County MO homes

Gary,

You can always be counted on to call it like you see it.  But would you please stop outing me?

Apr 04, 2009 09:12 AM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Gary, ghesh, I'm so jealous, you come up with all the good stuff and I nev

you are so right on target again! Thank you Gary for always helping to keep me humble, humble and happy, LOL.

When I feel like I might be turning green a trip to the farm is always in order. Makes me smile, and think, who's better than me? No one, that's who!

Thank you. :D

Apr 04, 2009 10:03 AM
Carol Lee
Dilbeck Real Estate - Oak Park, CA
Realtor - Agoura, Oak Park, Westlake CA Homes

Gary- I am guilty as charged!  I am jealous of those agents that get more listings than I do!  Even though they have less experience.  And I think I am brighter!  But then I figured out that I have more buyers.  But I still want those listings!  Someone else is always thinner than I, or has a better build, or something.  And then I tell myself there are many people a lot well less off than I. I must have felt some lack in my childhood!  Better take myself to a shrink, or get over it!

Apr 04, 2009 10:30 AM
Lourdes Hoglo REALTOR® Three Village & North Shore Suffolk Co. Long Island
Prudential Douglas Elliman Real Estate - Setauket, NY

This is a very basic human emotion, from toddlers to nations, it affects the world. Constantly comparing ourselves to another is not a healthy thing to do. As you mentioned, it is best to accept ourselves and be happy. We often have a lot more than we think we have. :)

Apr 04, 2009 11:04 AM
Connie Goodrich
Keller Williams Realty - McKinney, TX
CRS ABR (McKinney Realtor)Texas

Gary - jealously - easy to feel and compare.  It is about your own personal goals and creating your own success, not a measure against another.  I had that conversation the other day in my office how I wish they didn't make such a deal on Susie's volume and production award.  Why not have every agent set a goal and award their achievement based off their goal ... you hit the goal you are a "Gold" you go above then you get a Platinum.  And better yet, the award is only given when you meet back with the team leader to overview your next goal and year in a private discussion.  It is all about you, not them.

Apr 04, 2009 11:19 AM
Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate
M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Gary, Good healthly competition motivates many of us, however jealousy can eat you alive.

Apr 04, 2009 12:23 PM
Maggie Dokic /Indialantic | 321-252-8696
Magdalena Dokic - Indialantic, FL
Selling the beach in Florida's space coast

Gary, what a timely read for me.  The green-eyed monster been visiting me lately.  Not at the office or at work, but elsewhere in my life.  I saw it for what it was and I tried to banish it.  It's a pesky little critter, isn't it?  Even when we see it, it's so difficult to fend off.  I'm trying to think in abundance and not shortage. 

Jealousy is petty.  And ugly.  And I don't want to be either of those things.

Thank you for this post. 

Apr 04, 2009 12:32 PM
Sally Dunbar
Lyon Real Estate, Fair Oaks CA (Sacramento Area) - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks Realtor - Fair Oaks Homes for Sale

Start rooting for other's success, and jealousy will quit rearing it's ugly head.

Apr 04, 2009 12:51 PM
Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ

Gary,

Lots of good points in this post!!! Not ALL 'green' is good...!!! Thanks,   Fran

Apr 04, 2009 12:52 PM
Susie Blackmon
Ocala, FL
Ocala, Horses, Western Wear, Horse Farms, Marketing

I'm only jealous of someone who already has an Airstream!

Apr 04, 2009 01:12 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Gary, I have seen jealousy now more then ever before...I don't know why.  My clients seem to have the same problems, they feel people are jealous of them.  I wish people saw you as a colleague instead of "competition" and someone they have to beat.  What a lovely world it would be!  Thank you for another wonderful post that is, sadly, very true.

Apr 04, 2009 01:31 PM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

This is a VERY impressive post, brother...envy is one of the motivators in real estate brokers use to get agents selling......

THANKS for showing us being motivated by envy is NOT a good thing!!

Some need to be reminded.....

;-)

Apr 04, 2009 06:02 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Gary,

Great post and I love that picture of the kids. One of the most important things to learn is not to allow jealously into our hearts. A lesson in life of value is to learn there is always someone bigger, someone who can run faster, sell more houses etc. It's part of life. We need to learn to be happy for others successes and for our own and keep that green eyed monster forever gone!

Apr 05, 2009 12:16 AM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)

Gary - Agreed and agreed.  I am competitive, but I really do try not to let petty jealousy control things.  Simply put, it is not productive, and it doesn't change things to worry about what others are doing or what they have that I don't have.

Apr 05, 2009 04:09 PM
Carol Culkin
Diamond Partners Inc - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate

Gary - The green-eyed monster is a good Realtor topic. I think too many agents focus on trying to win that they become cynical and mean spirited. I believe each of us should be competing with ourselves and setting individual goals that have nothing to do with what other people are doing. Everybody has a different level of capability. Jealousy and competing in an unfriendly way can be unhealthy to the pshyche.   

Apr 06, 2009 04:54 AM
Loreena and Michael Yeo
3:16 team REALTY ~ Locally-owned Prosper TX Real Estate Co. - Prosper, TX
Real Estate Agents

Gary,

I'm referencing this post on mine that I will get to later today. I just want to tell you that I read every single one of your post, but just dont have that much time to comment.

I've been busy working on other things, a few escrows in the pipeline and also, a sick 18-mth old to take care of this week.

Can life get any more better opportunities to grow?

Apr 08, 2009 05:01 AM
Wayne Johnson
Coldwell Banker D'Ann Harper REALTORS® - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio REALTOR, San Antonio Homes For Sale

Gary,

Thanks for helping to keep the old moral compass aligned. It should come more easily to avoid the seven deadly sins, but sometimes it's a challenge. Good post.

Apr 08, 2009 06:40 AM
Tom Davis
Harrington ERA,DE Homes For Sale, $$ Save $$ Buy Today ! - Dover, DE
FREE Delaware Homes Search!, $$ Save $$ - Find Homes! Delaware Realtor

Yes a good way of putting it.. so true... green eyed monsters... I look to those that do better and watch what they do and implement what is working.  I look at the glass as half full! 

Thanks,

Tom Davis

Dec 21, 2009 03:17 PM