Bank Of America Can Just Kiss My Ass!

As far as I'm concerned, Bank of America can just kiss my ass!  Listen to this letter I got from them yesterday.

Dear (House Hag),

At Bank Of America, we are committed to providing you with clear, timely information you can use to make decisions about your credit card account (please bend over so we can shove another rate hike up your old kazoo)

Please read this information carefully. (you might also want to keep your heart medication nearby because we can feel a spontaneous aneurism or stroke gurgling up through the old pipes as we speak)

The following changes serve as Amendments to your Credit Card Agreement. (and in this case, please understand that the Agreement is "unilateral" and has nothing to do with what YOU want))  To help make them as clear as possible, we have included a summary ("What Is Happening") directly above each Amendment.  (Kind of like what your proctologist does while he's snapping on his rubber gloves and discussing the "procedures" he's about to perform)

• Annual Percentage Rate:  We are raising Annual Percentage Rate(s) on your account.  (If you don't like it, tough shit) You have the right to reject this increase.  Instructions on how you can reject this increase and pay off your balance at the old rate are included in the enclosed Amendment. (Pay up or shut up.  We don't give a rat's ass how long you've been a customer of ours or how high your credit score is)
• Transaction Fee:  We are adding or increasing certain transaction fees associated with your account.(Hold still now, honey...this'll only hurt for a minute.)
• Foreign Transaction Fee:  The definition of what constitutes a "Foreign Transaction" is being expanded (to include every monetary transaction imaginable on planet earth)

We are also changing the following benefits and/or rewards associated with your account (please see the enclosed disclosures for complete details:

• WorldPoints Rewards:  We are modifying one or more of the redemption options. (Your WorldPoint Rewards for spending $18,000 on your credit card will now be worth LESS than the prize your kids get in their cereal boxes, as opposed to THE SAME AS)

Bla, bla, bla.

PS - And please be advised that Bank Of America is currently 6-8 weeks behind on responding to short sale requests from real estate agents like yourself. If you have not already done so, please re-fax the completed short sale package to 866-599-6666, even if you have already sent it 14 times to 8 or more fax numbers and/or mail drops.  We will contact you when we get good and god damned ready. DO NOT attempt to contact our loan mitigation department directly.  Don't call us, we'll call you.  

THIS ARTICLE WAS WRITTEN BY THE HOUSE HAG - UNCENSORED & IN THE RAW!