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Do you mix business with family or friends?

I wrote a post yesterday surrounding a situation where a friend of mine listed her home with another agent in the MLS with no listing contract in place. She had concerns with her agent and called me for guidance.

Even though I clearly let her know I didn't want to be in the middle and advised she communicate with her Realtor® directly, she continued asking for assistance. Although we were friends, she was asking me for advice regarding her home for sale and that created a conflict.

There was so much drama surrounding her situation and the agent she was working with at the time, that she and her husband decided to list with another agent they knew.

Even though she and her husband thought I would do a very good job for them, she said it would be best to list with someone else so it wouldn't "cause anything awkward in our friendship."

In that case, she shouldn't have contacted me at all if she didn't want to mix business with friendship. I don't have a problem with friends or family who choose to work with another agent, but if that is the case, they should not come to me for assistance or advice surrounding real estate matters. They need to go to their agent!

My opinion is that friends and family experience good and bad but work through things with one another. Many successful businesses have been family run and I don't think there is anything wrong with friends and family supporting one another's businesses. Do you?

Patricia Beck – Selling Colorado Springs Homes

Posted by Colorado Springs Realty Patricia Beck on 04/08/2009 10:20 AM

Comments (13)

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13 Comments on Do you mix business with family or friends?

APR

I have not had any problems with friends or family and mixing business. I think there are some people like that but then your right...WHY were they calling you??

I have worked with a friend on both the buying and selling side..things went well. Last year we put her home on the market..she got married...and it did not sell (3 month listing). We sold her new husbands house quickly so they decided to stay in hers for the moment.

They decided recently to put hers on the market and buy something together. We spoke about it and I told her I wanted to refer someone from my company to list her home this time. Basically for the basic reason I did not want to ruin our friendship..especially with this tough market. I wanted her to be able to voice her concerns and not feel bad about it. Also...we argue about everything..if I tell her to declutter..she asks why, I tell her to paint something..she says no..you get the point.

I do get to help them find something new though..so I think it is a win-win for everyone! Good Luck!

Patricia I agree that friends and business can be a sticky thing but in your case your friend I KNOW would have done much better with you than the mess they ended up with. It can break friendships if things go seriously wrong though.

APR

Bummer I agree...why call and give you more torture. Not getting the listing was bad enough!

APR

Patricia: Thought provoking article. I've had several friends who I have helped sell their house. It's worked out well; but I often feel I work even harder for friends than my others clients. The stakes are higher.

APR

Tough call, we have used friends, and chosen "not to use friends" but we went into each situation with the understanding that:______________(fill in the blank). One thing we have NOT done is ask our friend we did not use, to help us with the person we did choose. You have every right to firmly but politely tell your friend that they really need to discuss issues with their Realtor.

APR

Patricia,

I agree that friends and family can work together successfully. I also agree with Maria Haun's comment that friends and family have the tendency to questions everything we may tell them. I can certainly envision my family saying, "What's wrong with the bright orange paint? I like it." And as Kathy says, perhaps agents may work harder for friends and family because there is more at stake. Personally, I work equally hard for my clients, friends, family or otherwise. I can't tell you how many friends/family I know that you have worked with other agents and it is extremely frustrating. However, I've learned to accept that as part of the business. However, it doesn't make it any less frustrating when it happens!

Hi Patricia, If they didn't list their house with you then they shouldn't be calling you. JMHO

APR

This is a VERY good question. I really think it depends on the situation. There are some clients I do not want to work with; ie, one that is unrealistic about their list price, etc...I would not want to work with that client and if my friend is similar, I would recommend them to someone else.

There are reasons for both and as a rule I work with friends but in your situation, I always let a friend know it is OK to list with someone else. They may not like my style, or whatever but friendship always comes first.

APR

Patricia -- I agree that things can get awkward with family and friends. However, I agree with you 100% that they shouldn't come to us for advice and then list with someone else or come to us when they are listed with someone else. Very frustrating part of our business!

Patricia, I haven't run into the kind of situation you describe, but it did make me consider what I would. I have friends who moved here 5 years ago. When they decide to sell their home, they will probably sell it on their own. I am fine with that. They are totally capable, conversant in real estate, and tough negotiators. More than anything, it sounds like your friend doesn't have good social and interpersonal boundaries in place. Fortunately, you know where the boundary lines are.

APR

Oh my! What a bad situation. I have a friend in CA, who was my husband's friend before we got married. She'd been a student in his class at UC Humboldt. She became a realtor and he used her a prior to our marriage. Then we used her together. And today she's still our friend.

I can't imagine what problem your friend thinks is going to come up. But, knowing you, she's mistaken. And has probably set herself up for more problems that she can knows.

Like Carla said, it's just part of doing business. I know Pam had an issue just like this one a couple of years ago. She was really pulled by it. I wish you the best. I know you'll do what's right for yourself.

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