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Bank Of America Announces "Drive Through" Short Sale Service

Melbourne, Florida - In an effort to prevent a massive bank run by depositors and improve customer relations, Bank of America is now offering a "drive through" short sale service complete with complimentary Starbucks coffee and baked goods.

The move came on the heels of a public uproar after Bank of America sent a credit card rate hike letter to millions of their customers. According to undisclosed sources, even bank employees got the unpopular letter.

So far, the new short sale service has proven to be hugely successful and promises to ease at least some of the bitter animosity caused by the rate increase.

The new "concierge" service allows realtors to submit completed short sale packages at the drive through window and get an immediate approval or counter offer, a firm closing date and a 6% commission guarantee - even if the transaction is a "double dip" (meaning the agent both listed and sold the property).

And while waiting less than 10 minutes for their file to be reviewed and approved, short sale customers are treated to complimentary coffee, flavored lattes and delicious baked goods by attractive car hops on roller skates.

Millie Corn, a realtor with Buy Brevard, Inc. was quoted as saying, "This drive through idea is wonderful! No more snotty loss mitigators to deal with. The drive through tellers are friendly, polite and very helpful. One even helped me complete a hardship letter I had forgotten! And I love the blueberry muffin I got with my mocha latte. Yum! I'm going to try the lemon pound cake with my next short sale"

Bob Horndrip, a realtor with BlueSky Realty said, "it's about time these morons got their act together on short sales. Before they opened the drive through, Bank of America was taking as long as 3 months just to tell you they had received the package. Then they'd take another 3 months dodging calls, losing faxes and shuffling staff. And don't get me started on the crap I've had to deal with from Countrywide!"

According to Rodney Flabbergum, spokesperson for Bank of America, the drive through short sale service with Starbucks is a pilot program being tested in 12 major metropolitan markets. "If it works, which it seems to be doing, we'll open it at all Bank of America locations. Going forward, we may even add a complimentary car wash service."

Photo by Coolcaesar, GNU Free Documentation License, through Wikimedia.

Disclaimer: This "News Item" was written by Ralph the real estate dog. It is a work of (comic relief) fiction. Only the photo is real. Any resemblance between the characters, persons or Realtors® is purely coincidental.

Posted by Laraine Shape - Broker on 04/13/2009 08:59 AM

Comments (100)

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100 Comments on Bank Of America Announces "Drive Through" Short Sale Service

APR

You had me at Starbucks! I was ready to make the drive! Shoot - I have three Countrywide deals right now and I was hoping that it was true!

Hi Laraine: Do you want fries with that? Thanks for the chuckle!

Boy, I wish people would open their eyes and see the overall big picture.

Laraine, OK, first of all, I spilt my coffee reading that one, then I had to answer the phone (I am phone wench at the office today) all the while trying NOT to laugh.

I am glad to know that BOA remains the leader in innovation.

I will be laughing all day, thank you! And thank Ralph too.

You had me until I read your disclaimer at the bottom. I thought it was too good to be true!

LOL...

What a great follow up to your last post on the subject. You are just hilarious :)

In this business a sense of humor goes a long long way :)

TLW...ROAR!

Laraine, Thanks for the update. Our local BOA branch is still making us go inside for the new Accelerated Short Sale process. Very inconsiderate if we can do it from the drive through. Rich

Drive thru short sales?/ Wow, hard to believe, but that would be great to know that they did receive our package. Maybe I should be move FL. Sounds great. Catherine Kierzek, Re/Max Realty 100-Milwaukee

I was totaly hooked and could not wait to forward this link. Great comic relief. Oh how I wish this could be true.

I almost didn't read your post becasue of the title of your blog. I laughed so hard that I thought about not working today.

Wouldn't be such a bad idea in hard hit areas. Meet the people face to face what a concept.

that is great. You got me too. I actually like the idea though.

You just might have something here. You should consider a franchise in florida and eventually move your way across country with this concept.

That is hilarious! You almost had me!

Don't we wish it could be that easy...I could sure use the Starbucks right about now! Have a great day.

Bridget - Ha! If only.....

Matt - Yes, please

Tony - I hear you

Andrea - Sorry....okay, no I'm not!

Chuck - Gotcha

TLW - Thanks, tootsie. I appreciate your support more than you know. Stop by anytime.

Laraine, you have a sick sense of humor - has Leno called yet?

haha. This is a good one! Thanks for the article.

Richard - Ha! A.S.S. Love it. Here's what Ralph and I have to say about Bank of America's service!

Kiss This!

Wow...now if only they could touch up my roots while I'm waiting. :)

Hysterical. Thanks for the Monday morning laugh. Now back to sitting on the phone waiting to talk to someone about the status of a short sale.

OMG....that is too c r a z y thanks for the post .

Portsmouth NH Real Estate

This is the GREATEST! I love it. So glad I found it - Thank you!

Catherine - Yes, wouldn't it?

Kelly - Glad you enjoyed it.

Joe - Hey, take a day off! You deserve it. Go make someone smile.

Michael - Personally, I think they should give it a whirl.

David - Maybe we could all suggest it to the Powers That Be.

Sharon - Hey....good idea!

Melissa - Thanks

Holly - Me too. But I was really hoping for a muffin.

Hi Laraine, What a terrific way to get our engines revved up for the day ! LMAO !

Karen - I hear that's in the works, too. A salon service.

Pat - My pleasure.

Patricia - You're most welcome, my dear.

Margaret - Thank you so much!

Thanks, Bill. Now, go gett 'em!

Dawn - I do?

Brian - Most welcome!

Oh shi* man! i was like WOW, REALLY?

Only in Real Estate Heaven I guess.

Ahhh Laraine, I feel your pain. If only it were that easy. Take away the Starbucks, muffin, and drive up service, and it really is not that far fetched that they should be able to provide a simple service like that. If they wanted to get the real estate market really moving again, that would be the solution. Thank you for the comic relief. Keep up the great work and best of luck.

Laraine! What a funny story! You know, nothing is easy with banks. That's why they are in so much trouble!

Mary

Laraine, you are so funny.

Laraine, okay you got me, I actually bought the report and thought to myself,"wow what a novel idea and I also thought that it was great to see the power of the consumer at work". Then I read your disclaimer and paused for a moment then laughed!!

Great Post

Greg - I know. I SOOOOOO want it to be true. :-)

Jerry - Well, that's what I'm thinkin.' And thanks for your support.

Mary - Exactly!

OH man, I knew this was a joke, but just a little part of me was hoping that maybe, just maybe.....

Laraine, you are on a ROLL! Keep it coming.

OMG - we would all KILL for a service like this!!!

Too funny!! I almost believed the post - was almost ready to forgive B of A. Thanks for the morning chuckle.

We can dream, can't we?

Wow! But . . . they probably only offer coffee and cream, no lattes. Great comic relief! Thanks for sharing.

I LOVE IT!!!! I was laughing and my eyes got as wide as dishes while reading it thinking this is an April Fools joke. They can keep the money they spend on Starbucks. What got me is they'll approve it right there on the spot??? There's an actual person who you'll be able to talk to? OMG I'll do every shortsale for BOA at discounted commission and submit them for approval daily.

Keep us up to date and see how it goes. What are the test markets, do you know? Would love to see how is pans out.

You almost fooled me, but this looks like a business plan that would make some sense.........and we ALL know that the banks do not think that way!!!l! LOL

Thank you for sharing!

- Harrison

LOL!!! Do you think if everyone on Active Rain forwarded this to BOA execs they would get the message that something like this (OK they can even keep the lattes & treats) would be a terrific idea to try? They'd be my new favorite bank!

You almost got me I was ready to reblog it LOL!!!

Wow! You got me. Empire Home Mortgage Inc. is a mortgage Brokerage Business in downtown Melbourne I was flabergasted. I immediately called my office in Melbourne and asked if they knew where the B of A branch was that was pictured. They said that they were going to look at the article and then get back to me. Then I saw your disclosure and had to call them back.

Now I know how the original listeners of Orson Welles' Halloween radio show felt!

Laraine~ You almost had me! I knew it had to be too good to be true. They don't have a clue about customer service, so I knew that wasn't happening....

I swear I dreamt the same thing just the other night. ROFL!

Laraine- For a newbie you sure caught on fast - how to get those wonderful gold stars and get us all to comment! Just write stuff that will either make you laugh, cry or temper tamtrum mad!

LOL! This was SOOOO hillarious, love Ralph, you keep making people laugh, what a gift! Katerina

Laraine -- so you're saying this is just a joke?!? I guess I'd better stop searching Google for the nearest drive-through location here in CA then...

OK...sarcasm I can appreciate but why Starsucks? Why not some good ole pork....more appropriate!

I'm assuming this is a regional BofA customer service, 'cause if it ain't I've got to drive over 3,120 miles to get my BofA short sale approved?!? I'd do it . . . I'd rather spend 50 HOURS on the road from Portland, OR to Melbourne, FL -- cause it would STILL be FASTER!!

Very funny stuff on a number of levels. Thanks for sharing.

Laraine...

Oh crap, when I saw the title I thought that it was for real. Especially the part about coffee and baked goods. Oh well, if something seems too good to be true...

Wow. I can already see the potential backlash on this one. You've probably created another "War of the Worlds" so to speak, Loraine. BoA is going to LOVE you when they get their first drive-up short sale :-)

Hilarious! Thought I was reading a real report and feeling hopeful... Working with banks today is a real gritty challenge! Several mods in play with slow results!

Laraine - BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Speaking of Countrywide, we have had a short sale file awaiting approval since November with them. Fun stuff!

haha, what a great way to start a new week. Good one!

Ralph, after reading this blog I showed up at my bank and they pretended not to know what I was talking about...boy are these guys Idiots or what?, and their Coffee Sucks.

... Powdered Cream and a bad attitude...how rude, they must not have gotten the Memo.

I was wondering if Baltimore would be seeing the drive thru experience...than I read your disclaimer...I cried. Good one.

Oh my gosh, wouldn't that be awesome! Maybe a short sale drive through that worked for all banks, in all cities!

Well done.

Laraine - Laughing all the way from the bank. keep um coming. Fun post

Oh MAN!!! I was so excited....I thought you were serious!

Guess we'll just have to keep toil away in MakesNoSenseAtAllLand.....

Too Funny Laraine! Thank you for the humor today - you've got talent, girl. Keep 'em coming!

WOW!

that's what i'm talkin about! you should blast this to all banks throughout the country. great idea...for real.

www.financehardshipletter.com

Hi Laraine -- I hope the CEO of BoA sees this to get a feel for what people really think of this monstrosity they call a bank.

Thank God Lent is over ( gave up "fancy" coffee ) now I can get a few short sales done and enjoy the wait ... thanks for the update is this available outside of FLA ? If not it's ok the drive there and back would be short then the current process time .

I'm sure I'm not alone in wishing this was all true!!! I really wish it wasn't a dream!!! The end should have said...."GOT YA"

What a great idea!!! I love Starbucks and Short Sales. Now if I can just get onboard with BoA I'll be in business. Very funny post.

I am offended by the dog picture though.

What a concept, quick and easy short sales... We don't have that luxury in Northern NH... Most of the time they are frustrating and unproductive!!!

Short sales and starbucks, it would be easier for me to belive i could get good service at the dmv

Bank Of America Announces "Drive Through" Short Sale Service If this was only true! we as a nation would be out of this mess alot faster.

That is absolutley funny!!!! I screamed at my husband to read this, with he smiled with excitment because he has been working with CountryWide, and in mid-sentence he said I hope they get this pilot...then he read bottom disclaimer and cussed! :)

You made his day!

Thanks

Cheron Lange

Jerry - Well, that's what I'm thinking. And if they can't afford coffee and muffins, they could at least give us some bottled water. Right?

Mary - You're right.

Virginia - You're sweet

Christopher - Sorry. I was really hoping it was true, too.

Brien - I can totally relate. The more I wrote, the more "real" it became for me.

Laurie - Thanks for your support.

Lori - I hear ya!

Alice and Jim - Glad you enjoyed

J - We surely can. It's my happy place.

Melissa - Pretty sure they offer lattes. Hang on a minute, I'll go ask one of the car hops.

Claire - I'll definitely keep you posted

Harrison - Sharon Tara suggested a franchise op. Whaddya think You in?

One of the more humorous takes on today's "short" sales. Maybe Cape Coral Florida should be their first test site.

O - M - G! You had me going! I was eating up every word! If only??? We can dream, right? I love the post!

Nancy - Yes! Let's do it!

Ritu - Never believe everything Ralph says or reports. He gets a little carried away sometimes.

Bob (Amato) - Ha! No Way. Sorry, dude, Ralph tricks people all the time. I'm gonna have to send him to his room.

Vickie - So true

Dave - We must have been on the same wave length

Katerina - What a nice thing to say! Thank you

Regina - Well, not really a joke. Let's just call it a wish.

Gary - Can we assume you're not a fan of Starbucks? Unfortunately, pork would be a little too messy for car service.

Ha ha ha ha.....I am liking that dog! I know you've got a lot of comments but I really really enjoyed this one. You have such a wild sense of humore and creative! Love it! anna banana

Carla - You and me both!

Richard - Sorry. I was disappointed to when I found out Ralph was making the whole thing up.

Roger - I hope they still have muffins when I get there. J

Bernalee - Do you ever wonder if there's a huge dumpster right inside these loss mitigation department doors? Sometimes I get this image of a bunch of people tossing files into the dumpster, throwing darts, playing video games, shooting hoops, playing poker and just totally goofing off and laughing their butts off when the another "file" comes in the door. It's scary, isn't it?

Jason - Aaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhhh! November? As in 2008?

Joanna - Thanks!

Steve - I've been assured the tellers you dealt with will be terminated first thing in the morning. Flabbergum assured me he would PERSONALLY take care of your file the next time you stop in. He also said to be sure and try the mocha latte

Maria - I'm sorry

Chris and Kim - Yesssss!

Roy - Thanks

Claude - Thanks and will do.

Coleen - Sorry.

Kim - Thanks for your support.

Thomas - I'm with you. I honestly don't think it's all that far fetched. In fact, it's almost doable!

Chris - ME TOO!

Eric - Yes, it's available in 12 markets. Not sure which ones. Maybe you could call the BOA customer "service" number.

Katie - Got ya!

Bryant - Glad you enjoyed it and sorry about the dog butt. I'm trying to behave, I really am (NOT!)

Caron - Pretty sure we're all in the same short sale boat

Walter - HA!

Sonny - You got it!

Cheron - Oh goodie. Thanks!

Sharon - Let me guess. Short sales are an issue in your area, too?

Christianne - Yes, we can certainly hope. Thanks

Anna banana - Thanks! Ralph likes you too.

I will believe it when I see it. I have had a terrible two weeks with Bank of America trying to get one of my clients a mortgage. He was approved with a great credit score and he is putting 20% down to purchase the property. We are two weeks past closing and Bank of America can not seem to get it through underwriting. It is ridiculous that my client can not close on his mortgage.

Laraine, I LOVED your post! I believed up until the end. I thought, wow B of A must have really changed the way they do business since I fired them as my bank. If only there was a way to make this a reality!

Ha... to funny... I was trying to figure out this madness..... BOA is to busy getting bail out money and buying other banks... They could care less about their clients. ( Just my personal view )

I am reading your post thinking... is this for real? If it were only true it would make all of our lives and our customers so happy.

Well, I would just as soon have a cup of joe from 7-11 than an overpriced bitter cup of whatever that is from Starbucks!

Russell

Very funny. The only reason you had me going was the fact that you were from Florida - it almost started to make sense! :)

APR

I have said from the beginning...if Bill Gates would just lend us a programmer for a tiny bit that would enable all lenders to have a program that you fed the package into....and voila....the yup, nope...or how about this came out the other side, the world would be a better place...if you want to add a latte..works for me !

Mike - Sorry to hear about your BOA war story

Lara - Yes, if only...

Roland - Ya think?

Kari - True, true, true!

Russell - I'm with you. Never really cared much for Starbucks.

Mark - Yes, crazy things do happen down here in Floreeeeeeda.

Sally and David - Let me know when the system is up and running.

Laraine-Great blog, and great looking dog!

Laraine - I'm feeling threatned. You're funnier than me. :(

Laraine,

BofA has a sense of humor (NOT)! Oh well, if they come after you we will all have to send you a dollar for your defense fund.

Great belated April 1st post

APR

Joseph - Thanks!

Greg - NO WAY, DUDE! You're the man

Brenda - Ha! Laraine's Kiss My Ass Fund

Paul - Thanks - but I really, really, really, wish it was true

APR

A bank that finally gets it. By waiting 4 months the properties were only going down in value. I think this may just save Bank of America! Now, lets see if Countrywide catches on.

Todd - We can only hope. :-)

JUL

LOL, That was great!

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