"When an emotional injury takes place, the body begins a process as natural as the healing of a physical wound. Let the process happen. Trust that nature will do the healing. Know that the pain will pass and, when it passes, you will be stronger, happier, more sensitive and aware." - How to Survive the Loss of a Love, by Peter McWilliams, Harold H. Bloomfield, Melba Colgrove
- "In the darkest hour the soul is replenished and given strength to continue and endure." - Heart Warrior Chosa
- God gave burdens, also shoulders. - Yiddish proverb
The longer we live, the more good-byes we have to say, eventually leading to a lifetime of good-byes. Good-byes, though, aren't always about people who have died. Sometimes it's about family pets that have died, or cherished items that have been lost, or even ideas that had to be discarded:
- the last known picture of Great-Great-Great-Great Grandma arriving at Ellis Island (the dog ate it)
- the house that was destroyed by a fire
- a gay son coming out to religious mom and dad
Good mourning usually involves three stages:
- shock and denial
- anger or depression
- understanding and acceptance
In most cases, it's an individual mourning, but in some cases, mourning can also involve family, friends, and even people unknown.
In some cases, depending on the event, any individual stage might require professional help. If you know someone who is having problems getting through any stage of good mourning, be supportive.
I remember my brother when his girlfriend's cat was hit and killed by a car. She cried for several days and was unmercifully ridiculed by my brother. Having lost many pets myself, I understood the devastation that his girlfriend was going through; unfortunately my brother did not.
If you yourself are having problems having good mourning, seek professional help. Happily, such help isn't stigmatized in today's world like it was fifty years ago when my brother was born.
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