Jacob - Rates right up there with "you know"!

A great way to help with that and to improve your speaking skills in general is to record yourself on the majority of your calls. You will notice patterns, etc. that you probably weren't even aware of.

It sounds very non-professional.  I am 100% in agreement with you on this one.  One of the many reason people in 'sales' need to practice their pitches...

Maybe I live a sheltered life or perhaps I just ignore the words..... (those dots stand "um" in AR-speak! Good post.

There are definitely a lot of words people use for filler space, but I think overall we all need to be more aware of what we are saying. Thanks for the comments everyone. Much appreciated. 

Jacob,

It took me a while to get it. Namely, that listening is more important than talking. How are you going to find out what the client has in mind if you're the one talking. Good blog.

Makes perfect sense.  . The cure is to talk slower , thinking your words first and then saying them. UH or UM is usually just a habit though, coming from a lack of self confidence. The problem is the guilt person of such habit doesn't even realize it. :-)

Jacob,

good points. I remember in high school I had a teacher who followed every sentence with "really and truly" and we in our cocky seventh grade attitudes, recorded each time she said it and compared it later. Did I learn much in that class, No, I was too busy focusing on the speech.

People need to realize that they are repeating phrases over and over. This won't happen if we don't tell them, like, uh, know what I mean, um?

Jacob...I couldn't agree with you more! I hear "uhhhh" or "um" more times than I care for at various lectures..it drives me crazy.

The Canadian version, of course, is "eh?"  :)

Canadian Julia

I love the "Office Space" picture!  My husband and I talk to each other in our Bill voices all the time.  "That would be greeeeeeeeeeeat....."

:)

Eva

Jacob, have him join Active Rain and then he can join my group word of the day at http://activerain..com/groups/wordoftheday and he can learn some new vocabulary words besides uh um

I am guilty of the UM word....for the first 5 minutes of a presentation....it's NERVES!  I catch myself, now, finally after YEARS!  Thanks for a great post from a former ummer....

I went to a banquet on Friday and the lead speaker, the host...everytime he spoke I heard the words "uh" and "uhm". So incredibly unprofessional and annoying!

Jacob, my attention span stops when I have someone that starts doing that.  I am bad at saying "uhm", I need to think about that!  I'd better work on that.

Jacob~

Good to read about this. UHM... when replaced with just a breath...allows everyone space to succeed.

Usually, people who use um a lot are using it as a space filler or stall tactic to think of the right words to say or to get their thoughts together.  People don't seem to know that periods of silence are OK.  Not everything needs to be filled with noise.  My major gripe is people, including professional speakers who can't seem to figur out when to use me or I, he or him, she or her.  It doesn't mean that the people are illiterate, they just haven't taken the time to learn to use the words properly.

A great way to do this is to record yourself talking about a subject, then watch it back. It will reveal all sorts of habits you'll want to break!

Jacob. Good post. I loved the ,movie as well. Classic... Also, another big no-no is "and". I've heard good speakers ramble on with one sentence and then talk about another subject and then switch gears again all in the same sentence...

Yes.  Something we all need to be aware of - ourselves.  I had to memorize a 45 page canned presentation for a school I was a recruiter for, and you know, it was like, well you know........there wasn't a single hum or um in there.

Jacob I am SOOO guilty of this.  It's such a nervous habit! 

It's out the window today!  I'd rather hear a deafening silence than ever shoot myself in the foot like this again!  Thanks for the great advice!

Jacob:

Yep, a bad habit that conveys a bad impression. But you hear it all the time!  And once you notice it, it just gets worse. :)

Thanks for bringing this to our attention.

Jeff

Uh... like I get it, you know? 

Jacob, I truly agree with you,  you did a great job on this one, keep the good blog my friend :)

Great post Jacob.

These are verbal pauses and filler words we use when we are nervous or uncomfortable.  Ever notice we use them more when we are nervous or uncomfortable?  Just a matter of being aware of them.  I belong to Toastmasters and we actually count these and read them back to people at the end of the meeting.

One way to limit their use is to take a breath when you want to use one of these fillers.  My crutch is um.  And I use it often in the beginning of a sentence when I'm trying to formulate my thoughts,  so I take a breath there to break the normal sequence.  It may not work for everyone but it does get me to think about my use of that filler more.   

When I was young my dad used to always catch me on "I don't know".....no matter if I knew or not. I learned from him to be straight forward with my answers.....so luckily I dont' do the uh, um thing.  Uh. Huh.

Jacob-The experiment was difficult as you stated.  I was able to do very well without using the um and uhh but it was very difficult to not use the word like.  I guess that must be because in speaking, there is a lot of comparisons that can be made and examples used.  As long as the speaker is aware of his "crutch words" he can keep track of how many times they are used.

I have a bad habit of saying "....and it's like..." which is just another way of saying uhm, and uh. I'm going to try the experiment. Great blog!

it is a bad habit but I seem to get a few clients like this - then I have to endure it

Hi Jacob,

This is a very good point.  I'm sure I do this, too.  I know when I try not to use the filler words, they seems more difficult to avoid.  :)  What is really hard, is to listen to people using uh, um, like and you know and not get pulled back into the habit. 

You are featured, good for you!

Lol, I just caught the tail end of 'Office Space' last night.  A co-worker of mine and myself always critique each-other and are the first to remind each-other if any of our bad habits leave our vocal cords.  Um, nice post Jacob:-)

I agree with you.  I used to do it all the time.  It's a matter of being aware of what you are actually saying.

I find it interesting that there are no comments yet about giving this guy a break.  Speaking is a difficult skill to master for some people.  You can't go back and make corrections.  It's very much like blogging and using good grammar and spelling.  At least when writing, you can go back and edit until it is just right.

Great reminder of how imptant it is to practice our presentations.   - The Office Space reference um, awesome.

absolutley....UMMMMMM UHHHH.......TRUE. Great post

Jacob,

Interesting po st!  Don't you think that people use words like that because they aren't quite prepared to answer the question.  They need to take a short pause to gather their thoughts---of course, that takes some conscious training. 

Good post.  this is something that I think we all are aware of at times but then I probably slip back into old habits.

I've noticed myself focusing on the um's people say when they're being interviewed or giving speeches and so I tend to not remember what they're actually saying.  It can be distracting.

I agree with you...the overuse of these words makes me crazy. Julia is right about the Canadian overuse of "eh". That one is as if you have to ask a question after every sentence. I lived in Canada for a summer and it got old real fast! lol

I have to agree. There is nothing worse than when you are trying to have a professional conversation with someone and they say uummmm.  It does completly discredit them.  great post.

UMMM Yeah you are right uh like you know.

I was guilty of this at one time, but try to be careful to avoid it now. I try to record myself every once in a while to check and see if I am slipping into any bad habits. I think that is the best way to find out. I liked someone's idea of video tape... Then you could really see all of your bad habits! I may just try that.

Jacob,

I am going to have to ask you to go ahead and ummmmm come in on Saturday.

Well, um, you know... I think... um... this is really... um.... god advice... um.... you know!! This is REALLY a difficult habit to break. Practice is necessary, and you need to be consciously aware that you are doing it!

Toastmasters is a great organization to not only learn how to speak in public but to speak more effectively every day.

The gentleman sounded like he might possibly have stuttered and this is a part of a technique to overcome it. 

I wouldn't judge him too harshly.  Speaking with strangers is very difficult for many. 

Folks afflicted with the "you know" syndrome are also irritating, but.. . .   I've knows some very prominent folks who have that problem too.

They could be worse, thieves or murderers. 

Like is pretty bad too

in my consultative selling training we also learned not to use COST

• Cost is negative
• Price is neutral
• Investment is positive

for an investment of only 5% plus closing, you can control $X00,000 worth of real estatea assets

Jacob,

Um, yeah, we're gonna need you to come in on Saturday; oh, and I almost forgot, we're also going to need you to come in on Sunday umkay.

Good blog and great movie.  (Office Space)

Jacob,

This is one of the first things I learned in a public speaking class I took. It's hard and hearing it from someone else makes it harder sometimes - especially when they over do it.

Thanks,
Shailesh

Jacob - it does get to me when I hear someone do this frequently, as does 'ya know' or 'you know'.  It really bugs me when someone sprinkles their conversation with 'honestly speaking' or ' to be honest with you' - like you were being dishonest with me until you said that??

I really like what David wrote above - love those points, and I'm going to work on implementing that in what and how I say things.

Ann

Thanks to everyone again for the kind words. If I wasnt so sick I'd respond to everyone. Thanks to those of you who called me today as well. I'm gonna go rest now :)

I like this blog.  I am very cautious of what I say, especially since when I get around anyone my age, I tend to go into "um...." mode.  I've always been very self-concious around my demographic, and I get nervous and paranoid and obsessed with impressing them sometimes.  I do much better with people older than me.

If it's an "ummm" situation, I respond with an "okay," or something similar, while I process exactly what I'm going to say, instead of sounding like I have no idea what I'm doing and am not confident.

Amazing what working in sales teaches you!

It is the way it is.....and then it goes down hill from there.  The bright spot is that salesperson is not in real estate...yet! 

oh geez, my husband got on me for saying "you know", but please do not tell him he was correct.

I was staging a house when the realtor got a call from a potential client and after hearing her on the phone I wanted to hit her in the back of the head so the words would come spilling out of her mouth. I have to LIKE UM TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU ON THIS ONE...

Phyllis Pafumi

Ok Phyllis that just made me laugh so hard I went into a coughing attack. That was great! LOL Thanks for sharing your story. Hahahahahaha

lol..great post.. uhmm I was uh going to write uhmm something like uhh that...

Jacob.....

My best word was..... "well....."...... so now I just pause until I have the correct sentence in my head..... then I just speak it......

It works.... Great post!! =-)