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The Other Side of Life...

By Mirela Monte

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Buyers' Choice Realty

April 21, 2009 11:56 AM

The other side of Life is Death. We celebrate the first and fear the latter. Today I lost my Grandmother. My heart aches with pain. She was old; this is the natural order of things, or so I tell myself. I think about how lucky I've been to have had her in my life for so long. I think about how lucky I am to have my children healthy and well.

My ex-mother in law, a woman still close to my heart, told me one time: "I've lost my mother; I've lost my father, my brother, my husband, my best friend. I was able to cope with it all. The death of my son, now that, I've never been able to accept!"

I think of all the parents who've lost their children and I shudder: what an unbearable burden, a weight so heavy that every day it sinks the heart a little further.

I think of wives who've lost their loving husbands in the midst of their lives together. How sad to have to raise the children alone. How sad to yearn for that special someone day in and day out; to see him in the faces of your children and ache for him deep in your soul.

Today I lost my Grandmother, a woman so magnanimous and kind. If she was here she'd say: this is the way it's supposed to be. You age and you die and you leave behind those you love and hope they've learnt all the lessons you helped teach them.

When people lose loved ones I always give them Harold Kushner's book: "When Bad Things Happen To Good People". In honor of my Grandmother's passing, I have compiled a list of helpful books for those in mourning. Nothing can take away the pain, yet some comfort is derived from reading these:

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Gordon Livingston

If you know of any other great writings that deal with losing someone dear, please share them with the rest of us!

Mirela Monte, Your Myrtle Beach Connection Proud Optimist!

*Note: Earlier today I wrote a loving tribute to my Grandmother: The Eternal Optimist is Dead

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Mirela Monte

Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC

Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Lynn: I know! I talk to my dad too.

Every time I go to any church or monastery, I light up two candles: one for my father and another for my grandfather. From this day forward I will have three candles to light up...

Apr 21, 2009 12:28 PM

Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities

Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA

Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

You haven't really lost your grandmother--so much of her will always be with you. We're a compilation of the people who made us what we are today.

Apr 21, 2009 12:32 PM

Mirela Monte

Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC

Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Caren: Thank you! She is loved and will always be remembered.

Gail: the bond between me and my Grandmother is so strong. My childhood years were spent with her. She taught me about God, taught me how to pray, told me countless stories and filled my head with grandiose dreams and ideas. I owe her so much. Grandparents can be enormously significant in their grandchildren's lives.

Apr 21, 2009 12:32 PM

Mirela Monte

Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC

Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Norma: Right you are:

You haven't really lost your grandmother--so much of her will always be with you. We're a compilation of the people who made us what we are today.

Apr 21, 2009 12:33 PM

Ron Bridges

ERA Wilder Realty, Inc. - Sumter, SC

Mirela - Grandmothers are special and hold a special place in our hearts. I'm sorry for your loss and I will be praying for you and your family.

Apr 21, 2009 12:34 PM

Steve Loynd

Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH

800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

Mirela...Let the peace wash over you that she is now at rest, sorry for your loss.

Apr 21, 2009 12:41 PM

Mirela Monte

Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC

Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Steve: I love that:

"Let the peace wash over you that she is now at rest"

Thank you! What a comforting thought! Her body was so feeble and she had so much pain. She is now floating...

Ron: Yes, they are special indeed! Thank you!

Apr 21, 2009 12:45 PM

Kenneth Bargers

Prudential Woodmont Realty - Nashville, TN

Mirela - Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers tonight. I am sure the memories of her will are blessings that have touched your heart and she will always be with you. All the best.

Apr 21, 2009 12:51 PM

Treva Fox-Christy

INTEGRITY REAL ESTATE - Farmington, NM

Hi Mirela, I am so sorry. Grandparents Love is so special. I think they all say the same thing that they wish they could have skipped the kids and gone straight to the grandchildren. All in jest I know. God bless and be with you. Love across the miles to you.

Apr 21, 2009 01:03 PM

Larry Story ALC

Total Care Realty - Greensboro, NC

Beneath it all is the Land, Covering all of NC

Mirela,

I am so sorry. Your grandmother was obviously a very special person to you. It is sad when we lose those that are close to us.

Apr 21, 2009 01:07 PM

Kathy Toth

Ann Arbor Market Center Keller Williams - Ann Arbor, MI

Ann Arbor Real Estate Experts - Kathy Toth Team

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. We always say that, don't we? "This is the way it is supposed to be." But that just doesn't cut it when it is real, does it? If I could, I'd give you hugs. Here's a virtual one for you:

hug

Kathy

Apr 21, 2009 01:28 PM

Andrea Swiedler

Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT

Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Mirela, you know my thoughts already. I hope you are getting some comfort. I liked the book called On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, she identifies the stages we go through, from either an illness of our own, facing death, or a catastrophic loss such as you are facing. She wrote a few books, all of them good.

We light candles in our house all the time for people and things that are going on, I am lighting 2 tonite, one for you and one for your dear grandmother. My husband is Russian Orthodox, and he has always lit candles for people and events in our home, and I think it is a great thing to do.

Apr 21, 2009 02:01 PM

Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®

Lewisburg, WV

Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Mirela, I am so sorry for your loss. Reading your post saddens me, as I think of my Grandmother, and how I loved her. I am named after my grandmother, and miss her very much. Thanks for the list of books.

Apr 21, 2009 02:46 PM

Sandy Childs

Keller Williams Realty - Spartanburg, SC

Realtor - Spartanburg, SC

You have only lost her physical presence, she will always be in your heart and your memories. The place she holds inside you with always be with you ~ hold on to it tight, then.............

Dry your tears, my friend and do something that would make her proud in her honor! Honor her memory by being strong, as she was strong, be persistent, as she was persistent, be kind and loving as she was kind and loving, she was extraordinary and so are you.................hold on to this..........

Apr 21, 2009 03:30 PM

Brian Kuhns

Coldwell Banker Roth Wehrly Graber - Fort Wayne, IN

Fort Wayne Real Estate by Brian Kuhns

My condolences Mirela, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family this evening.

Apr 21, 2009 04:38 PM

Lynn911.com ~ Dallas Real Estate Agent Top Team

Dallas Houses for Rent Dallas Apartment Rentals Lynn911.com - Dallas, TX

Mirela, my thoughts and prayes for you and your family, it makes us stop and think about people close to us give them all hugs

Apr 22, 2009 04:32 AM

Kathy Knight

Intracoastal Realty Corp - Wilmington, NC

BROKER, ABR, CRS, GRI, SFR, SRES

Mirela:

So sorry for the loss of your grandmother. My grandmother was extra special to me and it was so painful when she died. I can really sympathize. At least you were much much better for having known your grandmother as I am...

Apr 22, 2009 01:58 PM

Sun City Grand Homes Surprise AZ Real Estate Leolinda Bowers Designated Broker Leolinda Realty

Leolinda Realty - Surprise, AZ

Sun City Grand in Surprise Arizona

Mirela, I'm sorry to hear of your grandmother passing. You and your family will be in my prayers.

Apr 22, 2009 05:57 PM

Debbie Hutchins

Birmingham, AL

Mirela, I actually had come by to check on you due to the fires, I am so sorry for your loss. Grandmothers are always special and tend to hold a very special place in our hearts. As women I think that they are tremendous role models in our lives. I read your previous post about your grandmother and you can tell she was very special indeed. Thank for taking the time to share these wonderful books, I have read "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" and go back to it on occasion for inspiration.

May you find the peace your are seeking in your writings and reading.

Apr 23, 2009 08:29 AM

Jan Evett

The Premier Property Group LLC - Rosemary Beach, FL

Broker Associate, 20 years+ in real estate

Checking in to see if you are okay ... the fires and the funeral, all this must be extremely stressful .... still in my thoughts and prayers for peace and safety. Let me know if I can help in any way ... even though I'm in FL, just let me know how your doing when you can.

Apr 23, 2009 03:00 PM

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The Other Side of Life...

My ex-mother in law, a woman still close to my heart, told me one time: "I've lost my mother; I've lost my father, my brother, my husband, my best friend. I was able to cope with it all. The death of my son, now that, I've never been able to accept!"

I think of all the parents who've lost their children and I shudder: what an unbearable burden, a weight so heavy that every day it sinks the heart a little further.

I think of wives who've lost their loving husbands in the midst of their lives together. How sad to have to raise the children alone. How sad to yearn for that special someone day in and day out; to see him in the faces of your children and ache for him deep in your soul.

Today I lost my Grandmother, a woman so magnanimous and kind. If she was here she'd say: this is the way it's supposed to be. You age and you die and you leave behind those you love and hope they've learnt all the lessons you helped teach them.

When people lose loved ones I always give them Harold Kushner's book: "When Bad Things Happen To Good People". In honor of my Grandmother's passing, I have compiled a list of helpful books for those in mourning. Nothing can take away the pain, yet some comfort is derived from reading these:

When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst

Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart by Gordon Livingston

If you know of any other great writings that deal with losing someone dear, please share them with the rest of us!

Mirela Monte, Your Myrtle Beach Connection Proud Optimist!

*Note: Earlier today I wrote a loving tribute to my Grandmother: The Eternal Optimist is Dead

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