Dear Mother Nature,
I am writing this letter to you to express my unhappiness with your selection of weather today. I gave two weeks notice that I was planning open houses this weekend for some highly valued clients. You have apparently either missed the notice, or you received the notice, and chose to quite literally rain on my parade anyway.
This is not cool. As I was driving to Grand Rapids this morning, the rain had stopped, and I began to think that maybe, just maybe, you had softened your heart. As I pulled into Avalon Pointe, there was still no precipitation. You seemed to have decided to be kind, and perhaps would allow some favorable weather.
Then, just as I exited my car, and was putting out my sign, you felt the need to release a downpour of rather cold water from the sky. I am now soaked, and will remain so for the duration of this open house. Gee, thanks.
In case you haven't been watching Fox News, "Mother", the real estate market is already plenty full of challenges. There are lots of homes for sale in Grand Rapids, and the prices are low. As a Realtor, I am working harder than ever, and overcoming these challenges one at a time. I do not need you placing additional obstacles in the way of my success.
For future reference, kindly save your inclement weather fits for Wednesdays. That day works for me, and I have no problem with you throwing a meteorological fit on that day. In addition, because I am thoughtful and generous, I would have no objection to you throwing a thunderstorm tantrum between the hours of 9pm and 5am Eastern Standard Time.
Please take this message to heart, and rethink your actions. Should you not, I shall have no further recourse but to begin buying Styrofoam dinnerware, stop recycling plastic, go back to buying AquaNet hairspray loaded with CVC's (despite my rapid hair loss), and attempt to annoy you in general.
Get your act together, and behave accordingly.