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Lil Devil and Lil Angel : Online Connections

Participating and writing online, in any form of Social Media, has it's benefit and of course the flip side is consequence. Look around you at the sites you're on, and how many of the people you know are on these sites? We read each other, support each other, joke around, send recommendations, and we also judge and condemn each other too. You don't think so......well, you're sadly mistaken. It's Human Nature, right or wrong, good or bad.

This past week the Lil Devil has seen a few things online from different connections. It's just amazing how some people forget that no matter where we are our connections have connections, and we don't necessarily know who they are. So wouldn't it be prudent to put your best foot foreward?

Web Links

#1 Writing whatever we want online ......It seems some people don't have any brains at all...

Lil Devil- Da*n some people are pretty stupid at times. Why in the world would they want to say some of the things they do. Do they write for themselves or others?

Think back to a few of the really stupid things people wrote, then defended their actions with "It's my Blog, I can do whatever I want!" The fallout for some was almost as bad as the Nuclear Fallout from Chernobyl.

Yea yea, go ahead and do whatever you want...but don't think there aren't any consequences.

Lil Angel- It's a natural tendency for some of us to want to share different things with our "online" friends, but what happens when we think something is OK, and they don't? Now magnify that 100 or 1000 and can you really afford to have that many people questioning your character, not to mention the effects it might have on your reputation. We really don't know everyone that reads what we write, nor do we know who they might know. With the freedom to write as we choose comes responsibility, and of course rewards or consequences. We have some control, not tota,l but some, so why not use it wisely.

#2 - And if all you have is points what do you really have.....

Lil Devil- If you have a ton of AR points but have no other meaningful "outside" presence what do you have? What types of Posts are you putting up....ones that anyone could do, ones that take little to no experience in RE, ones that took little to no effort? #1 of what....B**l Sh*t?

Lil Angel- Comments, Blog Posts, and everything you have online, everywhere, helps people determine who we are (with the information given). So you can sell Real Estate, or make a loan, big deal...the bottom line is how will the people we want to work with, potential clients see us? Do these people have confidence, or faith in what you write? Do these people see you as someone that knows your field well enough to meet their needs, answer all their questions? It's all good to have fun at times, but just as our parents told us.....there's a time and place for everything. What happens when someone calls and you have no real substance to coincide with your "online" self?

#3.. Sometimes something someone writes just sticks with us......

"Anger is one letter short of danger." - Unknown

Lil Devil- But I am really Angry and I want to let everyone know!

Lil Angel- Just because we are angry doesn't mean others will be. The vast majority of online readers are narcissistic, and if it doesn't affect them, they don't care. Of course if you have spent time building relationships then there are those that do care......but don't assume they will be angry just because you are. We all read and internalize things according to our different levels of education, experiences, and basically who we are as a person....

Anger is a secondary emotion....look underneath it to see what's causing it. Anger has it's value if used appropriatly, and not everyone has figured out how to channel this energy into something positive. But it can be channeled, and it can be a great personal motivator; after all some of the best lessons in life are from things that we didn't like :)

By: Kathy McGraw- Veteran, Former Peace Corps Volunteer, Former Little League Manager, Pop Warner Commissioner, Rotary Member, Foster Mother, Mother, Grandmother, Artist, Writer, and Photographer.....in other words someone JUST LIKE YOU that sells Real Estate in Riverside County CA.

Posted by Kathy McGraw, Riverside County CA Real Estate on 05/04/2009 03:21 PM

Comments (42)

Oh Gawd You Didn't Say That Did You? in the ActiveRain Channel

lil devil and lil angel, kathy mcgraw, online connections

Post is included in group: The Art Of Marketing You
Post is included in group: POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul
Post is included in group: ETHICS and the REALTOR
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42 Comments on Lil Devil and Lil Angel : Online Connections

MAY

Kathy, the stuff we put online scares me sometimes. I made a comment on a blog the other day and then ran back and deleted it; not because my comment was horrible, but because I noticed that it wasn't a member's only post (and I didn't want my name associated with some of the things being said there). You just never know who is reading and how the message will be received.

Now, as far as anger goes ... I go to that place once in a while (too often, as far as I'm concerned), and I wish I could , but have not figured out how to turn it into something positive - yet.
And you're so right ... the best lessons are definitely learned from things we don't like.
Unfortunately.

Hi Sylvie- I know what you mean....there have been times I wanted to say something, but really didn't want the association with the subject, so didn't post my comment. I can't tell you how many times my Lil Devil wanted to say something, but I knew better (thankfully I might add). And as to lessons, why is it that so many of learn the hard way......

Speaking of which I hate the way this Post looks....the conversation I like, but something is missing...hmmmm not liking this Post today :)

You probably need a photo of a little devil. :)

CONGRATULATIONS on the feature!! :)

Nice post Kathy. I think that you know that I am one of those people that speaks my mine. I wouldn't say that I completely fall on the lil devil side of things, but I feel that sharing my opinion is more important than playing cheerleader.

I have seen some frightening stuff - probably authored one or two but am blind! You make a valid point about AR points but no pnline presence - some have tons of points, via mostly off topics, and climb! Have a great week!

Sylvie- Yea...whatever graphic I know it needs something :)

Ryan-That is too funny about you speaking your mind.....LOL. There are many times that we just need to tone it down a tich, without compromising our integrity. At least that's my opinion. So nice to see you again, hope work is going well.....and any progress on the wedding end?

Gary- Oh I think we all have authored a few....but people that author mostly junk, well they know who they are. It is kind of amusing how some people deceive themselves into thinking they are so important :) You too have a great week!

The higher you are the further you will fall.........

I'm still contemplating what is too much lol. Anyway, as we both know...what we write will attract or drive away the consumer...or supposed friends.

Thanks again for an insightful...and helpful post to help others stand in the others shoes :)

My blog is bifercated.

About half written about real estate in my market area to familiarize home buyers about opportunities in the area for financing, new homes, featured homes, local vendors, transportation, etc. These are all published PUBLIC.

Then, there are the posts for ActiveRain readers including real estate practitioners, mortgage industry members, home inspectors, etc. and consumers who read our posts. There are some consumers who never comment but I know they read it because they call me.

I publish my "hard core real estate talk" posts PUBLIC because I see no reason to hide the truths of the real estate industry (as I see them). What I'm doing is sharing perspectives and getting the word out about matters of industry, financing, government that affect our businesses.

The only thing I publish MEMBERS ONLY involve ActiveRain inside matters.

I learn so much about real estate practices and practitioners from reading ActiveRain posts and comments it can't even be quantified. It's huge. Huge.

In the future, I'll be publishing more LOCALISM articles and fewer "hard core" posts.

Kathy a piece of advice I heard at a seminar that I went to about Social Networking websites " don't Post anything that you would not want your Grandmother to read, words or pictures."

Sally- you said " what we write will attract or drive away the consumer...or supposed friends." We all learn as we go.....oops let me quantify that, "hopefully" we all learn as we go. And hopefully we meet our pre-determined goal of what we wanted to accomplish with our writing. And if it is just for points, well that's pretty sad and in my opinion a great waste of time and opportunity. Thank Gawd you aren't like that.......

Lenn-You have written here a perfect primer for blogging....how much, and to whom to devote your time and efforts. From Day 1 (well maybe day 2) your name always came up as the "authority" for different things....and funny but I never looked at your points. They meant nothing to me, your content is what mattered, and how you carried yourself on the network. Whether I agreed with you or not was never material, have I respected you...Absolutely!!! That to me is what using the Internet to connect with others is all about.

And too bad some people don't see this...but we all know everyone is different!

George- That is some good advice :)

George: Well, my grandparents (all) are gone...and Gary's gramma knows everything...so I guess I'm cool lol.

Oh Sally....somehow I don't think that's what George meant...but it is what he said LOL :)

Kathy & Sally I don't think your Grandmothers would have liked the two of you picking on me :)

George- :) My Grandmother had a great sense of humor :)

Kathy in that case, I guess that is OK :)

Everybody on this blog seems to have a great sense of humour haha...best :)

Matthew- So nice of you to join us...yes we do try to have fun...say what we need to say, and move on. Have you met Sally and George before...absolutely wonderful people,

Kathy, you are "both" so right! These conversations are very interesting and enlightening but there is one thing we really NEED to know:

Do these conversations happen just in your head, or are they real?!? Ha! :-)

Have a great day!

Mike

I find that people that post rants... knock yourself out, but I don't read them. I like to be uplifted. I don't have negative people around me for a reason.... I jsut don't like going there. But there are people who love to complain and hear other complaints. As the old saying goes, "there's an a** for every saddle". If you want to rant all day long, you'll attract those who are like minded. You just won't get me.

Hi Kathy! Very wise words for all! I have stopped myself many a time from commenting! I have also wanted to e-mail people to warn them of saying things that should be "members only" posts. Hopefully people will get "it" at some point, although damage may have already been done!

Congrats on the feature :)

Kathy - well I hope my Li'l Devil continues to be overshadowed by the Li'l Angel. There are times, however, where this is a challenge. I am generally pretty good at diplomacy adn when I feel that I can't be I usually say nothing (or write nothing). I see that as being pragmatic and smart in the case of writing on-line. rather than wimping out. My opinion.

Jeff

... is it wrong that I find myself on both sides of the argument for many of the issues on these posts of your Kathy !!!! lol !!

Always an intriguing read when Lil Devil and Lil Angel step into the spotlight !!

Cheers !

Sheldon

I think Linn used the bifercated word, is that allowed? We need George Carlin right now. I like the angel and the devil on the college kid's shoulder in Animal House, but that is too rude for Active Rain. But seriously folks, I would like to think that my post are not provocative for provocative sake, rather they are my opinions that have a truth that reaches out to the end of my nose. Should you decide to accept it great, if not give me a reason why and we will communicate. No insults please. Man I don't know why bifercation sounds sexy but it does!

Hi Kathy,

"What happens when someone calls and you have no real substance to coincide with your "online" self?"... funny stuff. You know I've experienced this at times myself, and who knows for sure, guess someone could say the same thing about me, (LOL) oh well!

Bottom line, good stuff!

Kathy, you are absolutely right from both sides of the spectrum. It just amazes though, some of the things people actually write on a blog as if it's only them and one other person reading it.

Hi Kathy, I'm wishy washy today between the Lil Devil and Lil Angel - - -I have read so much on AR that I would never write, but then-- everyone has their outlet---so I say let it out, and I don't have to read it or comment on it either....some are a lot more bodacious than I

also, I like many different kinds of posts - hard core Real Estate, Lending, motivational and just plain silly... If I see I'm stepping into an argument -or a topic I don't like, I quietly exit...

Kathy... excellent blog and I loved the little devil and the little angel contrast. But what about in my case, since I am 6'3 1/2"... would it be big devil and big angel? lol

Seriously, I don't even bother with the points anymore and those that blog just for the points. That will hurt them, not me. All they might do is pass me. But what I did like was your first topic of discussion. Writing whatever we want online... you stated this.

"With the freedom to write as we choose comes responsibility, and of course rewards or consequences."

BINGO & bravo..... this is the part that kills me and angers me. There are a few loan officers that have a voice and a decent following on AR, that write, but it's their opinion. In many cases they make this opinion sound like fact. And yes, it gets magnified because I read many comments that say.. "gee, thanks for writing this", "I didn't know", or "this is great information". When in reality, it's their opinion and they don't state this. Or, they talk about a specific topic that is local, but don't mention this, yet it seems like a national problem in regards to mortgages nationally. Yet I have a conversation with this person and they tell me that their readers know that they are local. Huh? If I am questioning it and I am not sure of your message, and I know what I am talking about, how would others know that what you are talking about is local or national, if you don't state it in your blog. Just because your profile says that you are from X,Y, Z town and state... As you can see, this is a huge pet peeve of mine. You took it in a good context and it makes sense. thanks

jeff belonger

Kathy, Now you only introduced Matthew to two people? What about the rest of us :) ? Fair is fair....

I think you already know I can't BELIEVE some of the things people write--and I occasionally get angry (which results in a post). I don't believe they are helping themselves or their business and you need to use care with everything you write; it can come back to haunt you (and often does).

Hi Mike- Yes these conversations are only in my head, but believe me that can get pretty crowded with all the back and forth comments :)

Sally D.- We know where you stand now....next week I have already told that Lil Devil he just has to do something a little lighter in content...he can wear me out :) I just can't imagine someone ranting all the time, or even a lot of the time.

Wendy- Sounds like you're a good community member...hopefully those guys will get it sooner than later. We can try all day to warn some people but if they don't want to listen...well that's when the consequences come in.

Jeff- You've given a good example of what to do when we can't figure out how to be diplomatic. And if something doesn't get written, what's the harm? More harm is done (possibly and/or probably) when we decide to post while upset.

Sheldon- The one thing I know about a conscious is the battle between right and wrong goes on in the healthy people...so even though you have a newborn you are still "normal" LOL...

Joe- Funny....and I have a smile even thinking what George Carlin would do with some of our Blog Posts LOL .....Interesting comment, and I will come by and see your Posts.

Kathy,

Great post and worthy of the gold star! Just today. I unsubscribed from someone who wrote a post that I found offensive. I didn't comment, but just unsubscribed. Certainly this writer has the right to voice an opinion in writing ... I also have the right to choose not to read it. Your points were well made, and I am just offering a supporting example.

Hi Kathy, This is a wonderful post and something I think people need to take seriously. Well done and congratulations on the Gold Star. Well deserved.

PS, People also need to be sure thay are in the right frame of mind. I have caught myself a couple times of saying things that at the time might have reflected that I was a bit tired or cranky. When that happens hit the delete key and get away form the computer, LOL.

MAY

Lynda- No way anyone could say this about you :) I think you are wonderful fun in person, and if I hadn't promised I would post that picture of you from LA's Rebar Camp to prove my point LOL....

Amber- yes it takes all kinds. But it's not just here, I was reading today about someone on Twitter that re-tweeted (like a re-blog) but changed the link to benefit his business. When caught he said "this is America I can do what I want." Unbelievable......

Hi Mary- I think many can identify with your sentiments......and I don't think it's wishy washy...let's just say balanced LOL :)

Jeff- Yep I would say that that issue is a "big" pet peeve. Hopefully different people will read it (again) and maybe look within to see if they too give opinions that appear to be facts. Especially with Mortgages I can see where this could cause issues.

Oh, and yes I think at 6'3 you would have a Big Devil and Angel :)

Carole- You're right, I would have introduced you if you were here....but maybe Matthew will come back and I can rectify the situation :) We share a belief in Karma for sure......

Jan- How wonderful to see you again :) You are so right...we have a right to do as we want, all of us ;)

William- Remember back more than a year ago....there were times I could've, and should've hit the delete key and moved on :) A time or two is one thing, consistently being an a** online is another.

Way to go and your passion really poured out in this one didn't it! I think each person has to do what they do and find our for themselves why they are here. For me I want to show I care about my fellow man and my community. I love my community and I want others to also. As you know I like to put my humor out there as well and let people discover the real me and I find people hire people they feel they like and know and that can build trust.

Activerain and other sites help build trust with EVERY WORD we say. So be carefully with what you write, because people are listening.

Kathy, I always enjoy your posts of the Lil Devil/Lil Angel series. You really put it into perspective and I have sometimes written without thinking what I am saying through...It's oakay to express emotions but NOT fly off the handle!Great quote we all need to remember, "Anger is one letter short of danger." Thanks!

Hi Kathy - great post, what a fun way to approach this topic! We have to think about what we're putting out in our blogs and our social media so it helps our business and doesn't do just the opposite of what we're trying to achieve.

Kathy you and I have had conversations like this many times. I loved how you made your point and made me smile with your humor.

Kathy-You made your point with class and made me smile. I can see why this is a featured post-so deserving!

Kathy..you devil...angel!

MAY

Kathy, this is a really good read. Good points on how we write online and of course made me smile at the sametime. Good job!

Todd-Indeed we build or destroy trust by what we write, that is one of the things about connections, they have a way of following what's going on :) I think you have definitely shown your humor in many of your Posts :)

Russel-Hi there...yes, saying something without "flying off the handle" is important. Our regular readers will probably forgive us, once or twice, but the general public is another story (my opinion of course).

Monika-"Without doing the opposite", so true....no one, I don't think, wants to purposely waste their time blogging......

Nannette- Love it when you smile :)

Cathy Lee- Another one smiling.....yea that means the Lil Angel wins out again :)

Rebecca-did the 3 of you get together and vote for the Angel LOL :)

Marey- We're batting 100 now...the Lil Devil got to say his piece, but the Lil Angel gave a lot of you a smile, so another week successfully done :) BTW how have you been?

Kathy - I have been bothered by my response to you, and came back to re-read what I wrote. I was trying to agree with you in that we have to be careful what we write. However, as long as we are willing to take what comes with what we write, then so be it.

Your response made me wonder if I sounded like I was grinding on Lil Devil for ranting... quite the contrary. I LOVE your format. There are always two side so every story, and every point, and you have found such a clever way to present them. I LOVE your rants. My point was that those who choose to rant all the time (like another agent I know who I can't stand to read) won't have me as a follower. But there are probably those who like it. That's the a** for that saddle.

Hope I'm clear.... as mud!

Lil Devil can rant all she wants... she has Lil Angel to balance her out.

MAY

Kathy,

The one thing that has really bothered me lately is this picking apart of people in posts without ever really going to them first, email or otherwise, to help them out. Ouch...I think some people have regressed to high school. NO thanks I have a middle schooler who will be there in two years, I don't need to be in that mindset myself.

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