Happy Mother's Day from Chicago

[See this post in original format at The Real Estate Lounge Chicago]

Mother.

It sometimes starts a phrase that ends in an unflattering term. An epithet if you will.

And sometimes it's the start of a most emphatic declaration. As in the "mother of all wars." But a day like today it is the center point of a sentence that embodies gracious love and recognition of the pivotal role played by one's mom, by one's partner, by one's loved one, by one's wife. "Happy Mother's Day!" Where I am today and who I am today in large part stems from my mom. Fragile and aged today, and minimally cognizant of her surroundings, my mom was a heavy lifter in her day, supporting seven kids with the proverbial "ne'er do well" husband. Somehow and someway each of us made free from our humble southside surroundings. That I made it out and down to the University of Illinois in Urbana-Champaign (where 40 years earlier my mom had made it as the salutatarian of her class from Canton High School) is in large part due to my mom. And so time passes and goes on and things shift and circumstances change and lots of things if not most things are taken for granted until the day after 9/11 came and my mom suffered a catastrophic illness that literally had her flatline at St. Francis Hospital in Evanston. Somehow she endured, she survived, but she had been robbed of a great deal of the spark that previously did shine from her brilliant mind. And she became much feebler. And as anybody who has witnessed illness knows, this is unfortunate. And perhaps it is unfair. And yet it is life. My wife and I, before we had kids of our own, cared for my mom. Today that role is admirably and capably performed by my brother John and his wife Janet in Galesburg. And as old Frederick Nietzsche would claim, that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger. In the moment, though, it is not about growing strong, it is about putting one foot in front of the other, establishing landmarks to achieve and setting out for them. It is about making breakfast, washing clothes, changing linens and diapers, and extending a hand. It is about caring. And that is what mothers do. My wife, Nicole, for instance. She is a stellar mother. Making the kids' baby food from organic ingredients, laughing with them (and me), loving them without reservation while ensuring that they always look great and simply being a center point in urging our sons to grow into and become the best people they can be. And it rubs off on me. Not that my wife is mother to me. That's far too Oedipal. She is, instead, my friend, my counsel, my resource and my lean-to. And its impact on me is significant and increasingly permanent. Today I am the man I am largely in part due to the wonderful impact that Nicole has had on me. It's hard, isn't it, to describe what it is that a person does when they do it with grace and equanimity. But should you want to see it, simply observe my wife. Perhaps you are so fortunate to have someone so central and grounded in your life. I sincerely hope so. And I trust that today you will hear the ringing of a bell that serves as a wake up call for you to say "Happy Mother's Day!"