I spent some time with a cousin the other day who I had not seen in many, many years. How many? - you might ask well, his oldest son will turn eighteen this summer and I don't think I have ever seen him. There is a history behind why we fell out of touch and a lot of things that I wish had been done differently but all in all I have missed my cousin and wish that all those years had not been lost to the blockade I had set up. See when something hurts us or we are disappointed in ourselves for not doing more than we did to help in a situation we carry a pain buried deep inside.
Oh we don't think about it every day. We get on with life and make the best of it. Life happens and if we let ourselves wallow in self pity, we will be drowning in it soon enough. Unfortunately, some of us do spend far to much time swimming around in our own little puddles of regret. But most of us, thankfully, can leave the disappointment in it's own little bubble and not visit too often but the bubble is still there.
The thing is you can't change what you did or didn't do before you can only change what you will do today and try to learn and grow. I am glad that this bubble of regret about the past has been burst. I feel good and can now move forward to include this cousin in my life again. I hope that we are able to stay in touch and that I can become a part of his family and he a part of mine once again. We will see what tomorrow brings but for today I have made a change for the better and I feel good!
I'm Paddy Pizappi - Work with Me and You'll be Happy!