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The Secret To Having Someone Listen To You

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Oftentimes whether it is with a real estate client, a spouse, a co-worker, a child, or an acquaintance, to get them to listen to you it seems like you have to walk up behind them and get their attention by clanging some cymbals or something. Well that might work and attention is the first step in them listening to you. But the cymbals idea might make them more mad than them listening to you.

ComplimentsBut there is a more subtle approach to getting others to listen to you. Kind of the indirect approach. You need

The Secret To Having Someone Listen To You.

It's all in the "compliments" you give others. Give genuine ones of course, but find something nice to say about someone.

Why? People like to hear about themselves. They like to ESPECIALLY hear good stuff about themselves. It starts a connection between you two.

It builds a stronger bond if one had just started. From clothing to hair style to a good job. I know people worry about sexual harassment with compliments but just use your common sense.

People know the difference. Try it. It works.

Comments (31)

Teresa Harris
Lake Real Estate, LLC - Denver, NC
Denver . Lake Norman . Charlotte

Hi Gary, You are right on with this one....as always! Have a good weekend!

May 15, 2009 04:14 PM
Sally Dunbar
Lyon Real Estate, Fair Oaks CA (Sacramento Area) - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks Realtor - Fair Oaks Homes for Sale

Gary - that is something you are so good at doing.  You really go out of your way to compliment other agents, and be the wind beneath their wings.  I see you all over hte rain at your 200 or something people you subscribe to and your bazillion comments you make each day.

You are right, by the way.

May 15, 2009 04:14 PM
Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®
Lewisburg, WV
Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

This is so true...my husband ALWAYS gives a compliment...to everyone he meets...friends, family and new acquaintances.  People just love him...of course, I do too.

May 15, 2009 04:39 PM
Trey Thurmond
BCR Realtors - College Station, TX
College Station , Texas Homes

Gary

I like to pay a little compliment to prospective sellers about their home when we first meet.....but it has to be genuine.

May 15, 2009 04:43 PM
Liz Moras Migic
Chilliwack, BC
Chilliwack, British Columbia - Realtor

Yep it doesn't hurt to soften them up with a compliment...I'm not sure that its even about 'listening'........but maybe more 'hearing and feeling'.......have you seen people 'listen' and still not 'get it' ?  hmmm :-)

May 15, 2009 04:53 PM
Tom Braatz Waukesha County Real Estate 262-377-1459
Coldwell Banker - Oconomowoc, WI
Waukesha County Realtor Real Estate agent. SOLD!

Gary

Honey catches more flies than vinegar; besides smiles are easier to remember on people.

May 15, 2009 05:50 PM
Steve Shatsky
Dallas, TX

Hi Gary... Great observation and the key IS that the compliments must be genuine.  A transparently phony compliment would have the opposite effect.

May 15, 2009 05:59 PM
Sasha Miletic - Windsor Real Estate
RE/MAX Preferred Realty Ltd. - Windsor, ON

Hi Gary, Good post. Thanks for sharing.

Best - Sash

May 15, 2009 06:30 PM
Virginia Hepp - Mesquite NV REALTOR
Desert Gold Realty - Mesquite NV Homes For Sale - Mesquite, NV
Mesquite NV Homes and Neighborhoods - Search MLS

Yes, it works.  And it can really make someone's day to notice their new hairstyle or cool shoes.

May 15, 2009 07:19 PM
Renee Marrs Caperton
Marrs & Associates - Corsicana, TX
Realtor - Corsicana Texas Real Estate

A heart-felt compliment goes a long way! 

May 15, 2009 09:15 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Gary, you really are such a charmer, and you are super cool!  xxoo

May 16, 2009 12:19 AM
Donna Yates
BHGRE - Metro Brokers - Blue Ridge, GA
Blue Ridge Mountains

Gary:  Can't say it enough, "it has to be genuine"!  People can spot phony a mile away, I know I can.  Wonder why it is that being negative comes so much easier with many people than being positive.  Just look at our news media, always looking for something wrong, no matter.  It's all they can do to give credit when credit is due.  Life would be so much better for all of us if we could focus on the positive things about each other and perform more random acts of kindness. 

May 16, 2009 12:24 AM
Toula Rosebrock
Diane Turton, Realtors, Forked River, NJ - Lacey Township, NJ
Broker/Sales Associate, Realtor, Lacey Township,

ToulaRosebrock,com

Hi Gary:

You are so right!

A little effort, goes a long way.

Nice post....

May 16, 2009 01:00 AM
Don Rogers
Keller Williams Realty Chesterfield - O'Fallon, MO
Realtor, Broker, CDPE, GRI, OnullFallon MO & St Charles County MO homes

Great point, get the other person started talking about themself and you have won a friend.

May 16, 2009 01:16 AM
Mike Saunders
Retired - Athens, GA

Gary - in a previous life, we called this "schmoozing", but of course, now that I am on the other end of the sales effort...

May 16, 2009 02:40 AM
Bill Saunders, Realtor®
Meyers Realty - Hot Springs, AR
www.BillSellsHotSprings.com

Mike...great last name there...

Gary, as always you put such a simple practice to an art, and indeed it is the simple things...

all the best...

May 16, 2009 04:10 AM
Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate
M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Hi Gary, Kind words certainly go a long way, there is no question about it.

May 16, 2009 10:45 AM
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

I really like this and like to compliment folks in a genuine manner when i see them. You are right, people know if you are being authentic and frankly I don't engage in small talk with those who I do not care for...

May 17, 2009 12:37 AM
AMBER NOBLE GARLAND - Top Real Estate Expert, Property Tax Appeal Specialist & Author
Strategic Marketing Expert & Relocation Specialist Serving New Jersey and nationwide! - Marlboro, NJ
- The Agent You Can Trust To Deliver REAL Results!

Long time no see ole' buddy! You are right....a genuine compliment goes a long way in our business of real estate, and life in general.

May 17, 2009 02:39 PM
Daren Krause
Keller Williams Realty - Austin, TX

Are you listening or just waiting for your turn to talk?

 

May 18, 2009 11:01 AM