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The 5 BIG NO-NO’s when selling your home!! (Humor)

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Century Communities
This article was created just for the love of humor and you would think that Sellers with any common sense would never allow any of these things to happen, but these are actual true stories! Please share your funny stories too!

1) Don’t leave pet waste uncollected. Pick it up and put it in the OUTSIDE trash can or bury it or toss it as far away from the house as possible! You get the point, good smells are great for selling a home and bad smells are detriments in trying to sell a home.
TRUE STORY: I was showing a home to a client. We were in the back yard and yes, I stepped in it. It got all over my shoe. It was winter and the home was winterized and the outside water faucets were cut off. I’m embarrassed to say that I had to take off my shoe, go back inside the house and then rinse my shoe off in the kitchen sink.

2) Don’t leave your underwear or bras out for buyers to see. Come on. I know some people aren’t shy and see nothing wrong with this, but do you really want the buyer to remember your home or the bra size?
TRUE STORY: I was showing a home to a client. They walked into the master bedroom and there hanging on the door knob handle of the master bath door was the lady’s bra (at least I hope she was a lady – you never know nowadays). I still don’t remember anything about the master bedroom or bath except the hanging bra.

3) Don’t greet the selling agent and his clients at the door eating lasagna with no shirt on when they were not expecting anyone to be home. This one needs no explanation and yes, it really happened to me and it is a TRUE STORY.

4) If your female dog is in heat, don’t leave her in the back yard with your male dog when buyers are previewing your home. TRUE STORY: I was showing a home to a client (same home as above with the shirt-less lasagna eating Seller). When we looked out to the back yard, there was little Mr. Macho dog humping a much larger female dog (I’m sorry, I just couldn’t think of a more subtle way of describing this action). By the way, I intentionally left the breed name out to protect the innocent dogs of America. You know, canine profiling is running rampant nowadays.

5) Neighbors with a lawn chair hanging from one of their trees should be confronted. This is what you should do. With a very calm neighborly spirit, you should go talk to your neighbor and gently ask him to remove the lawn chair hanging by a rope from his tree so that potential buyers looking at your home won’t think about what a class-less neighbor he will be. And yes, this really happened to me when showing a home and it is a TRUE STORY.

PLEASE SHARE YOUR FUNNY STORIES WITH ME!

Comments (4)

Melissa Zavala
Broadpoint Properties - Escondido, CA
Broker, Escondido Real Estate, San Diego County

How come all of these--except for number 5--have happened to me?

May 21, 2009 04:15 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

I had the experience of walking into a house, (after I rang the doorbell) for a scheduled showing to be facing the wife (I assume) wrapped in a towel. Nobody had called her to let her know she was getting company. Now I wonder what would have happened had I not rang the bell.

Also was taking a client into a house that was supposed to be vacant. The home owner had rented it out to a friend and didn't tell anyone. Just as we were about to open the door, the tenant's pit Bull charged. Needless to say no viewing of that home.

May 21, 2009 04:42 AM
Tim Bradley
Contour Investment Properties - Jackson Hole, WY
Commercial Real Estate Expert in Jackson Hole, WY

I recently showed an office space. Which had been vacant the week before, but was now occupied with a few mattresses and random people sleeping and watching a tv. Sigh.

May 21, 2009 04:51 AM
Jim & Maria Hart
Brand Name Real Estate - Charleston, SC
Charleston, SC Real Estate

Not a funny story, but this is definitely a no-no.  Don't smoke pot in the master bedroom right before a showing and leave the evidence on the dresser (not to mention in the air).

May 21, 2009 04:55 AM