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The Men and Women Sides of Communication

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

People InteractionIn negotiating a transaction or for that matter having a conversation with someone, we need to be aware that men and women communicate differently. Here are several guidelines to be aware of for better communication:

Men tend to interrupt women more than they do other men.

Women tend to provide more detail while men just want the facts.

Women talk about problems to build rapport while men want to fix a problem.

Women tend to ask for opinions which to men this looks indecisive.

Men can take an opposite view when talking to other men to banter with them for conversation which doesn't work with women.

Women tend to downplay their authority which allows men to take their authority away.

 

Men are more task oriented, what are we going to do? Women are more relationship oriented wondering how everyone felt.

Men assume they have the information they need without asking all the questions and wonder why the women are asking the questions when they did not.

Men jump into a conversation and women need to enter early as well to increase their visibility.

Men can use loudness to make a point, whereas women tend to have a softer voice. The softer voice can be misinterpreted as being unsure.

Men disclose less personal information. Women feel normal about disclosing more personal information so they can get to know you.

Women can be more indirect in their communication. Men don't beat around the bush.

Men are looked down upon for using their feminine side of being warm and sensitive. Women who are very focused like men are accused of being bossy or aggressive.

None of this communication language going back and forth between the genders is easy. Just be aware we are indeed different and respect those differences.

Elizabeth Benefield
Montana Country Real Estate - Libby, MT

I do think men and women do think different when it comes to real estate. I hardly ever see a man a woman agree.

Liz

May 23, 2009 04:54 PM
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Hello my friend-I do believe you hit the nail on the head this time. What am I saying you do all the time. Well it appears that way anyways.<BIG SMILE>Great post my friend.

May 23, 2009 06:39 PM
Terrylynn Fisher
Dudum Real Estate Group - BuyStageSell.com - Walnut Creek, CA
HAFA Certified, EcoBroker, CRS, CSP Realtor, Etc.

In marriage, in work, in life, respect our differences is the operative phrase.  We are all unique and different and would prefer not being judged for our differences.  It is just common courtesy and common decency to treat others as we would like to be treated.

May 23, 2009 07:31 PM
Allison Stewart
St.Cloud Homes - Saint Cloud, FL
St. Cloud Fl Realtor, Osceola County Real Estate 407-616-9904

GARY

I agree that men and women communicate and process information differently.

When you said " Women tend to provide more detail while men just want the facts."  I have found particularly with men, that knowing your  facts and figures are more important. A cut to the chase mentality and most women are sharp enough to modify their presentation or conversation quickly enough to keep and maintain a man's attention.

I enjoyed your post!

May 23, 2009 08:34 PM
TeamCHI - Complete Home Inspections, Inc.
Complete Home Inspections, Inc. - Brentwood, TN
Home Inspectons - Nashville, TN area - 615.661.029

Gary, Good points. Funny to see that most of the respondents were women. H-m-m-m kinda looks as if this post struck a chord with them...

Your building consultant for life in Nashville, TN 

May 23, 2009 09:32 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

Interesting.... Nothing else to add here.  Looks like you layed out these without bantering or asking opinons...so "man like!"

May 23, 2009 10:42 PM
Don Rogers
Keller Williams Realty Chesterfield - O'Fallon, MO
Realtor, Broker, CDPE, GRI, OnullFallon MO & St Charles County MO homes

Gary,

Very good points about the difference 'tween the sexes.  I just wish I had know this some 40 odd years ago.  :-))  have a GREAT weekend sir.

May 23, 2009 11:14 PM
Dan and Amy Schuman
Howard Hanna Real Estate Services - Solon, OH
Luxury Home Specialists

Gary, this is a great post and is a good reminder that we need to be cognizant of many of the things you mentioned when speaking to a member of the opposite sex.

May 23, 2009 11:39 PM
Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Hello Gary, well, that said it all. Funny though, the older I get the more I get right to the point. And I want others to get to the point as well. Disclose personal information, hmmm... yes, women tend to do it more. Although at times I think the reason is that certain things don't seem to matter as much to men so they don't even bother to bring it up! My theory, people will find out anyway, better to let it come out of your own mouth than hear it half baked and in a nasty tone through that darn grapevine. The only thing in this day and agee that is really personal is something that no one knows about. Just my 2 cents!

May 23, 2009 11:55 PM
Evelyn Johnston
Friends & Neighbors Real Estate - Elkhart, IN
The People You Know, Like and Trust!

I don't even know how to comment on this one.  Seems an opinion can go either way.  Did you come up with these on your own?  What would the list look like if a woman wrote it?  Pretty funny huh?

May 24, 2009 12:39 AM
Mike Saunders
Retired - Athens, GA

Gary - I was expecting something a bit more on the humorous side, you know, something that would explain why women always win pictionary. But this was certainly worthwhile.

May 24, 2009 12:53 AM
Susie Blackmon
Ocala, FL
Ocala, Horses, Western Wear, Horse Farms, Marketing

Hi Gary. This kind of says it all re men. ;-) "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think: 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." - Jerry Seinfeld

May 24, 2009 01:43 AM
Sally Dunbar
Lyon Real Estate, Fair Oaks CA (Sacramento Area) - Fair Oaks, CA
Fair Oaks Realtor - Fair Oaks Homes for Sale

I had read this awhile ago, and the one about women wanting to talk to build rapport, and men wanting to fix the problem has been a big help.  Now I might start out my rant to hubby with "I don't want a solution, just listen".  It takes him off the hook from having to solve it.  I just want to be heard.

The one about men taking the opposite view, while that doesn't work with women is also true in my life.  My hub is the king of being a contrarian - I can get him to take almost any position if I just pose the other side first.  My gal-pals?... not so much.  (shhh.. don't tell Davey my trick.  He hasn't read the article.)

May 24, 2009 02:41 AM
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

I could not have said it better myself. Thanks for the great post!

;)

 

May 24, 2009 06:44 AM
Cathy Lee
CL Design Services Home Staging - Danville, CA
ASP, IAHSP, RESA Danville, CA

I bookmarked this to refer back to it.  Great information here Gary-stagers need this too. 

May 24, 2009 08:12 AM
Mara Hawks
First Realty Auburn - Auburn, AL
Inactive-2012 REALTOR - Homes for Sale Auburn Real Estate, AL

aha! and OMG, YES!!! I'm sure this conversation began a million years ago and isn't about to end any time soon.  Straight Line vs Spiral...and the continuing attraction of yin & yang, warp & weave, time and space, man and woMANIFESTO! Thanks for trying to help bring insightfulness to some of these people, Gary. LOL!

May 24, 2009 09:34 AM
Mary Douglas
United Country Ponderosa Realty, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado - Red Feather Lakes, CO
REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

Hi Gary, Points well taken and important to adjust our conversations accordingly.

you wrote: Women tend to downplay their authority which allows men to take their authority away.  OK- that fired up my rockets!!  LOL!!  I have watched this happen in business, but the strong women leaders I know - do not let this happen, and would never let anyone it take away. 

That statement reminded me of the saying --if you can't run with the big dogs - stay on the porch. 

May 24, 2009 11:28 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Gary,

Wow did you hit this topic head on and so true!! Thanks for the breakdown..it is worth re-reading sevral times!!

May 24, 2009 12:04 PM
Carol Culkin
Diamond Partners Inc - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Residential Real Estate

Gary - Geeze, I am a little embarrassed to find out that I am more like a man when it comes to doing business. Hmmm....Maybe I was a man in my last life????

May 26, 2009 11:41 AM
Cindy Bryant
Redesign Etc. Home Staging - Houston, TX
"Houston Home Staging Pros"

Great posts, you should write a book with all your posts!

May 29, 2009 04:19 PM