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Tipping For Dummies

In my younger years...uh, wayyyyy back in the 70's and 80's I loved to work in restaurants as a waitress (now they call them food servers) serving cocktails and dinner. I loved running around and doing my best with a smile on my face and in the end receive a nice gratuity (tip) for my hard work and effort to make sure they have a wonderful dining experience.

I even got to wait on Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters wayyyyy back when at the Honolulu International Airport Dining Room. Yup...those were the days. Gratuities (tips) were included with delayed flights (on the coupons they gave their customers) and a lunch shift would bring $120 to $150 on those delayed flight days.

Now a days, anyone receiving tips has to claim a for sure 10% off total sales of each night for taxes and I've seen restaurants take it right off the total sales of each waitress (food server) and claim it for them.... lest they get in trouble for their employees not claiming the cash they receive.

What burns me up is when I go to a restaurant and the next table has a bottle of wine, steak and lobster and dessert...and you just know that bill topped over a hundred bucks and you see them leave 2...yes TWO BUCKS on the table.

You know what I say?

Stay home and cook and have your husband/wife/son/daughter wait on you!

Then you don't have to shell out any money for the person waiting on you hand and foot.

Keep in mind:

Standard gratuity is between 15-20% and at the VERY least 10%. Just know that they are getting 10% taken out of the total sales slip you and your party of 20 just drank and ate. On top of all that you folks treated the food server as a second class citizen and threw food at her/him.
Sometimes the food is late because the cook is busy with 100 other orders, the waitress/waiter is just having an off day, bad hair day, just got word that the spouse is fooling around or just a new employee learning.

You take your dog to the groomer and love the fact that the groomer is the ONLY one who can cut your vicious dog's hair and nails. The bill is $65 for shampoo, hair dry, hair cut, nail trim and a toy for being 'good'. $9 @ 10%. This is a true story....and I tip our groomer $15.
You jump in a cab while your screaming girlfriend is weiling a knife outside. The cab driver takes care of you and zooms off and takes you to your other girlfriends house. They get taxed on tips too.....if you give them one.
It's time for that pedicure! You do a manicure too and the bill is $38. And the tip? I give them $10 for handling stinky caloused feet. At the VERY least...their 10% is what is due at cashing out time.
You go to Subway and there's a tip jar at the cash register. You figure you stood in line and got your own food and put a quarter in there. Heck, at least you put something in there. Your son gets his first job at Subway and you try to put a quarter in there and your son reprimands you....in front of the whole lunch line.

That Gift Card you received is part of the total sales slip. The gift card may have been $25 but your balance was $25. And you think you only tip on the $25 balance? Oh..you think it's a standard $2 tip no matter where you go? GASP! Put yourself in their shoes.

It's coupon day and you have a buy one steak dinner and get one free. It's a beautiful restaurant and they are giving this special to boost business just for the week days. The steak dinners are $25 dollars each and you have a party of four with two coupons. The total bill was $100 (and everyone drank water) and the balance was $50.00. Not bad for a party of four. So you tip $2 on the $50????? GO HOME AND BBQ with your friends!!! The tip should be $10 at the least....I tip $20 or stay home.

I had to get this off my chest. I remember those days ...wayyyy back when. 20 cents for an $11 dollar meal. I ran up to the people before they left and handed it to them. I think they needed it more than I did. I was 17 and it was my first waitress job at Woolworth's Restaurant in Waikiki.

I'm reminded that it still happens.

My daughter puts herself through school......as a waitress ...and tells me some meannnn stories.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Celeste "Sally" Cheeseman is a Realtor-Associate with Century 21 Liberty Homes in Mililani, Hawaii. With a sharp understanding that a listening ear is the key to a client's needs she serves the island of Oahu (Honolulu County) and all Hawaii Military Relocating to Hawaii, Hawaii Retirees, Hawaii Job Transfers and Hawaii Residents. Website: www.hawaiihomesmarket.com

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman HAWAII Relocations & Real Estate on 06/03/2009 09:34 PM

Comments (43)

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43 Comments on Tipping For Dummies

JUN

Hi Sally, thanks for this post. My daughter, has her Masters degree in Chemistry and Biology. ( not an easy field ) but easier than being a waitress.

At one time while her husband was at the Seminary, she worked as a waitress. She says to this day " Everyone at one time in their life should work as a waitress". If she pulled an afternoon schedule she would have groups of ladies come in order drinks and leave $1.00. It would cost her more in gas than what she would make in tips.

My daughter said being a waitress is so difficult, that no matter what other job you end up with....you appreciate.

It looks easy but it isn't....We are a family of tippers because we know ..when you walk or have someone you know walk in the shoes of a waitress you realize how under appreciated they are and how difficult the work is.

Sally, having worked a short stint as a waitress, I definitely appreciate how "the public" treats the people who wiat on them. Our son works in a restaurant now, so I am super sensitive.

One thing I don't understand though is the switch to tipping the OWNER of a salon. It used to be an insult to tip the owner of an establishment, since they were making money off all the people who worked under them - after all, it was their business. Now they expect it - like they are the 'hired help.' What am I missing here? To me it's like the difference between management vs. hourly employees.

Sharon

June: Thanks for your input...just the responses I wanted to see....I'm sending this to my daughter later so she can see......that there are people who DO know what it's like... My mom was one, i was one....and now she is.....as soon as she's finished she'll leave it all behind.....like we did. :)

Sharon: I don't get that. the Owner? I tip the people who are doing my feet....and I get my hair done and each one pockets their own. wow.

Sally, my sister is a dog groomer, the best one in town... she would love your $15 tip!!

I was a waitress in High School, it was the only way I was able to buy my beloved "Calvin Klien Jeans" oops telling my age!

Karol

Sally when I first read the title of this blog I thought that you were writing a blog about me, but come to find out it was only about the tip that I left with the lobster diner :) :)

Sally, proper etiquette 25 years ago was that you did not tip the owner of a salon even if they were cutting hair. It was considered an insult, putting them at the level of their hired help. At least where I grew up. They were making the profit on the salon and tipping wasn't considered proper. Things have changed.

Sharon

We don't eat out often...but when we do, I calculate 15% and round up to make it even. Somewhat similar to real estate...in that people sometimes want to negotiate DOWN on your comission! :)

I'm so very appreciative of everyone in the service industry! My husband and I had such good attentive service from a waitress the other night that we tipped her $10. And our bill was only $40.

I also tip the groomer for my three dogs, who is also the owner of the salon.

Did you hear about Oprah saying that the economic times are so tough right now that it is ok if you tip 10% or less? Can you believe that? I think it is ridiculous coming from her who has never worked a job like being a waitress. I haven't either but have always been in the servicce industry. I pretty much always tip 20% at a restaurant unless something drastic happens.

Hi Sally.....this is something I never tried. Steve and Bernadette? That cracks me up and reminds me of one of those movies that I probably know every line. Love The Jerk!

Woo Hoo a good post and something a lot will enjoy, if for no other reason than that to actually reconsider subject when they eat out or hire services. I was raised that 2.50 minimum per person on any meal under $10. (like breakfast places used to charge but is now much more expensive than that). Over that I usually figure 15% for passable treatment and 20% for good service and if it was superb or remarkable service, I add a tip commensurate as if one more person was in the party.

What I noticed is that in some places I eat out they know my name and great me as I arrive and it seems ( I am sure this is just a coincidence) that I don't wait very long for service.

Hi Sally I am following this thread. i want to send it to my daughter also. I almost fell off my chair when I read the comment what Oprah said about the economy and tipping. If a person can't AFFORD the tip because of the economy,

why are they eating at a restaurant? My suggestion would be ...stay at home and eat at home or

eat a a fast food place..where there is no one to

wait on your every need ....and clean up your left over mess.. A little annoyed, I am right now..........

I enjoyed reading your post. I never worked as a waitress but I have cousins who did. I know that it is a difficult job. A good service deserves a generous tip. Thanks!

Aloha Sally ~

When it comes to tipping, to me it's also about attitude. Service, yes I expect that, yet I do know at times some things are beyond the control of a server. Yet when they have a great attitude to me that makes all the difference.

BTW, a client's son worked nearby and when they had 1/2 price specials he had the same tipping issue. That's something I've always taken to heart.

As for Woolworth's... that brings back wonderful memories of my very first job, the local five & dime.

Sally, some of the automatic debit/credit card swipe machines even ask you 15%, 20% or other amount right at the point of sale. But tipping is necessary and important when good service is given.

Sally - I have waited tables on and off many times in my life - and tended bar, too! I loved it! I had one party order appetizers, dinner, dessert, coffee and they had had 2 bottles of wine. Total bill was something like $140. They left a $5 tip after they ran me ragged for 90 minutes, cussed at me for handing the wife her salad first, and they left a mess that a 2 year old wouldn't claim. But on the flip side ... guy came in the club, had a total of 4 drinks at $5.50 each ... left me a $135.00 tip. I caught him at the door and told him he must have been mistaken ... he just smiled and said, "That's for all the jackasses tonight that are going to stiff ya." People are totally unpredictable.

And because of this history ... I am a VERY generous tipper. And if the service is bad I tell the waiter/waitress so and remind them that their livelihood depends on their attitude. It all works out. :)

Sally,

Everyone should have to wait tables at some time in their life....

I was disowned by my family during college for dating the lead singer in a top 40 rock band instead of someone my family approved of.....

I learned a lot about people and life during that time.......(women tend to tip less graciously than men if what I found and college students would not tip at all).

Hi Sally! Every one of my friends who have previously been wait staff in restaurants are THE best tippers! I did the same thing years ago and my hubby always gives me grief for over-tipping--I think it's a MUST!

JUN

I emailed this to my little girl... she really has some horrid stories...

Karol: Yup....unless you put yourself in that professional's shoes (and yes, everyone can be a professional just with their attitude!) then we can see what they are going through. Just think...we get flowers from a clients...woohoo!

George: Somehow we're on the same wave length tonight George....remember the rain? lol

Sharon: Nowadays we go to Supercuts...and tip the gal who is cutting our hair.

Sonja: No kidding...let's not forget how we conduct our business. And how they blame us for something not in our control! Yup.....put ourselves in their shoes.

Connie: Exactly....and to think...they're just trying to make a living too.

ReRe & Christine: No...and I would have stood up in the audience on that one. Yup....no common sense. No tippy...no eatty out.

Ann: You never trie tipping? Or waitressing?

Hey William! no kidding..you think they'll actually consider these points? lol. Same for me...and even if it's horrid...but the server had a pleasant attitude to me....I really consider it's just a bad day... At least when you and i go out to dinner I won't have to be embarrassed....we'd both leave a grand tip :) Just like when we go to one of our regular places .... this one waiter.....RUNS...to greet us lol.

June: Yeah...pretty interesting indeed. I thought it would. In fact, this is a very good topic for all those that frequent even the pubs and stuff. I hope when AR get togethers are going on they don't forget to tip well!

Jenny: It sure does...thanks for dropping by :)

Lynda: It sure is....and yes, the service too.....and some things beyond their control...which should be accounted for. No kidding.....I think we hear stories.....and the majority of us take it to heart....for me...I've been there so know what it's like. But for some of these lame tippers....they just think that going out and scrimping by to pay the bill justifies leaving a lousy two dollar tip for a $50 meal. That's sad.

Gary: it sure is....too bad they don't use that same machine Everywhere. :)

Carol: Oh goodness.....FIVE bucks. Oh, goodness $135! wow....flip sides to attitudes huh? A lot of times they act like jackasses so they can get a discount on their meals....and then stiff the server too!

Julie: No kidding...it would teach them how to respect all ...in any business. And the gender thing doesn't have anything to do with it...at least when it comes to three generations who have been there...my mom, me and my daughter... and we tip well.

Debe: Oh yeah...but there's no grief here...my husband listens ....and asks me,,my mom or daughter how much?

FYI Everyone:

Now...going to eat at my daughter's restaurant is another story.....we have to tip her $20 bucks anyway. (even if the bill is 40) haahahahaha.

Hi Sally - My daughter was a waitress for many years before getting her current job as concierge at a nice hotel. Her biggest complaint was that if you worked in some restaurants, they said you got paid minimum wage, but they "assumed" that you got a 10-15% tip and so they subtracted that amount from what they paid. In other words they used the tip money to bring the pay up to minimum wage.

If she got low or no tips from some folks, she basically was paying out of her pocket for the privilege of waiting on that party. Thankfully, that no longer is the case in those restaurants, but with her experiences, I never tip less than 20%, and most times a bit more. If I've sipped on an iced tea with a client over a one-hour meeting in a coffee shop, I have tipped $10.00 just for taking up her table for an hour. I consider that cheap office rent! And I'm always welcomed back.

Sally, I saw this just yesterday at a diner. A family of four all having lunch and I got up to leave just after they did.....I happened to see a dollar and change on the table and couldn't believe it! We had the same attentive waiter.

I know people are having a hard time but these people depend on tips. I heard it recently at my hairdresser's as well. Sad, the trickle down effect I believe.....

Sally - I know it is the practice in many areas but tips should not be considered part of a persons wages from an employers perspective. A "server" who generates good tips is a person who is giving those served a reason to return to that particular establishment and the employer should be grateful.

Just as it is in our business Good Service = Satisfied Customers = Potential Repeat Business. Repeat business is not a right it has to be earned.

Hi Sally, way back when I was a food and cocktail waitress and then a bartender. I made good money, but always had those that stiffed me or insulted me. I have always tended to overtip as a result.

The woman who does my hair gets a very good tip, how could I not? She is part owner, everyone who works there is part owner. I tip her, never considered not tipping her. For a $45 hair cut I always give her $15. Always. No ifs ands or butts about it, LOL.

Thanks for all the tips on tipping. My wife was once a waitress, and I have always been a good tipper unless someone is rude to me. Even when their rude I still give a tip, but not nearly as good as when I get great service.

Two buck for a tip? That is just plain rude and ignorant. Cripes I leave a dollar tip when I just stop somewhere for a coffee or have a beer!!

Sally,

It amazes me how rude people can be. Food service is a tough job with few rewards! Most of us have done it at some point in our lives. If in doubt about the amount round up on the tip amount! The server deserves at least that.

Judy

Sally, I am so glad you wrote this.

All my kids at one time or the other worked in food service. So we learned how to tip. I always leave 20% unless the service is terrible, not the food the service.

YEA for Whoo Hoo !!!

I'm a "20%" kind of guy. In almost every instance, that is my minimum tip.

I am with June. I think just about everyone should have to be a server at one point or another. I could write a whole blog too but I use to be a server too from 17 to 24 I waited on people in some form or another.

One time, a guy left me a quarter when I was 17. Of course they ordered the works and I ran to an from all night for them. I marched out the the parking lot and said, "you must need this more than I do". I am lucky I didn't get fiered over it but I had had enough.

When I would go on dates, how the guy treated the server and what kind of tip he left said a lot about the kind of guy he was to me.

Now a days, the budget is tight but I will NOT go out to eat unless I can leave a good tip.

With that said, I will not leave a good tip for bad service or bad attitude.

Sally, I have worked on tips when I was younger too and I always leave at least 30 % in a restaurant. Some people just don't get it!

Haha....I never tried waitressing! I know they put up with a lot and I always try to leave a generous tip. They deserve it.

Sis - Thank you for this. After working in the restaurant biz for years, it amazes me what passes as a tip with some folks. I generally leave 25% to 30%.

Sally _ I try very hard to be a generous tipper. Folks work hard in service jobs and don't get the "big bucks." If a frugal one like me can do it, anyone can!

Gary: Me too....and because those in the industry to receive tips as part of their compensation I am surely going to tip them for their service. They pay taxes like anyone else.

Jason: I agree. And yes, in the U.S. we do have many jobs that depend on tips as part of their compensation...I believe that they deserve more than a 'thank you'. It does not pay the bills.

Ann: Okay...yes they do...and though some may not have tried it before I am glad I did...it taught me many lessons.

Kevin: no..they don't get it...some don't want to and want people to wait on them for nothing. Entitlement issues I think.

Ok well I admit I still call them a waiter or waitress...I'm not used to say...."excuse me food server!":))

But I generally give 20% or we used to just double the tax...rarely do I give less unless the service was terrible and so is the food.

Susan: Many do not understand (or don't want to) the concept of tipping. I say, it's known that in the U.S. they are paid a less wage and their food servers work for their tips AND pay taxes on them. Otherwise, it would be a take out center and they can take their food home and eat instead of having someone wait on them.

Carol: Yeah...it's disheartening to see that. Makes one wonder why they go out or don't take their food home.

Kathy: Because MANY in the U.S. work for tips ...they PAY TAXES on them as well. Employers take out at least 10% of their total sales for the day and it comes out of their little paycheck. I understand because I've been there. It may not be practiced elsewhere but it is practiced in the U.S. And just like if we go to other countries we should respect those customs as well. My daughter works hard to put herself through college. It's just how it is.... :)

Sally this is something I do well. I can't believe I still leave a 20% tip for someone when the service is not good. The thing is, I always keep in mind that this is how the wait staff really earn a living.

You are so right many times the big spendings leave the least amount of tip.

JUN

Great post and I can relate since waiting tables and bartending is how I put myself through college. I don't know if it's across the board, but in SC, as a waiter, they only pay $2.13/hour so tips really are vital for servers. On another note, Oprah recently said on her show that people are not going out to eat as often because of tighter budgets. She said that they should go out to eat and TIP LESS! I couldn't believe my ears. My brother's girlfriend waits tables and she said that weekend, she made 50% less than what she has made in the past. If you can afford to tip, DON'T GO OUT TO EAT! Stay at home, cook and clean up your own mess.

JUN

Jennifer: You do because you just don't know if they're having a bad day but still had to work to support the family.

Michele: I read that here earlier...and oh, no...I don't agree with that...what I do agree with is staying home!

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