Melbourne, Florida- A Brevard County real estate broker has been jailed for 30 days after organizing a neighborhood "flip off" this past Sunday that resulted in property damage, a lost toupee and a broken set of dentures in the gated community of Sunny Pines Estates.
The broker, Helen Cranktank, is known among her associates as the ‘House Hag.'
Sources say the flip off was organized against Toots and Elmer Fartswell, an elderly ‘For Sale By Owner' couple, after they ‘kidnapped' buyers that Ms. Cranktank felt rightfully belonged to her company.
A witness involved in the melee said that Mr. and Mrs. Fartwell had been trying, unsuccessfully, to sell their house for 3 years. After spying what appeared to be qualified buyers going into the House Hag's listing for a second showing, the Fartwell's sharpened their hooks and waited for the right moment to grab their prey.
"And sure enough," according to the witness, "as soon as the Realtor's® car pulled away, Mr. Fartwell was on those buyers like stink on you-know-what. He hightailed it across the street and told them about his FSBO and what a great deal it was. An hour later the buyers left with a contract in hand. "
Upon hearing the news, Ms. Cranktank went into a rage, contacted every homeowner in the community and organized a ‘Fartwell Flip Off' which was to be followed by a free cocktail party and BBQ at the Sunny Pines club house.
But according to one witness, the Fartwell Flip Off went from a 'beautifully synchronized gesture' into a neighborhood brawl.
"Mr. Goober's Pekinese hocked up something really gross on Mrs. Webber's freshly power-washed driveway and one thing led to another. Before you know it, people were calling each other names, throwing eggs at each other, kicking, pulling hair and tearing out flower beds."
"We still haven't found Stan Paxil's toupee and probably never will. Someone thought they saw Ms. Cranktank throw it down the sewer drain."
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Ralph, you are the man, ok, the dog. And Ralph, I have a scoop for you, I will email it to you soon enough. Something similar to what you just wrote about... the resemblance is almost spooky... I know you can do a great story on it...
Thanks Ralph!