You don't have to listen...

1. Once I was in a house showing  a buyer when the phone rang. The voicemail picked up, it was the listing agent leaving advice about why reducing the sales price was a GREAT idea.

2. Sellers love to leave their mail laying around. Is that your PAYOFF from your bank laying on the countertop? You'd be surprised what a wondering eye can pick up.

3. Last week we saw a calender on the wall in the "study." It outlined the closing process of the sellers new home, with the address. These folks were doing some serious downsizing. As you could imagine.. the wheels turned for me and my buyers..

4. Divorce paperwork on nightstand - DING DING, PUT THIS AWAY!

5. I love it when sellers show their own home to me and my buyers. You are no match for my tactics. You being home means I'm guaranteed to get at least 5 clues about you! If there is one thing that people love to do most, it's talking about themselves.

6. I always laugh when I find the FSBO sign in the garage. Now I know they tried & failed to prevent me from being part of the equation.

7. Don't leave your sellers disclosure on the countertop. I think this is a really AWFUL Idea. When you go to a restaurant do they tell you what's wrong with their menu up front or do they wait until you complain? Don't scare potential buyers off who haven't become emotionally attached to the home or the process. You have to disclose! Just do it at the right time.

8. HA HA HA to sellers who allow their silly Listing Agent to offer $2,000 towards closing costs with an acceptable offer. This is by & large the BIGGEST red flag that your LA is a ROOKIE! Everybody knows that $2,000 is a meaningless and silly number. It doesn't say anything besides your willing to give MORE.

9. Is your Listing Agent hurting for money? If they are.. you better be careful. You'd be shocked to know just how hard they work "to bring a deal your way." I love desperate, broke listing agents. I can smell the blood miles and miles away. My buyers usually leave satisfied.

10.  Does your Listing Agent think your home is garbage? Do they act as if it's beneath them? It will show, trust me.

11.  Did you just tell your neighbors why you were moving? Divorce - loss of work? I already know that you are very likely to tell Nosy Nelda two doors down. If I see neighbors I am very nice to them. THEY ALWAYS TALK! You chatting with neighbors can cost you MONEY! Please do this a lot when you don't list with me.

12. You just listed your home with ABC Discount Realty. Guess what? I know you paid $500.00 to list your home. Do you really think I'm not going to hammer you for the rest of the money you saved? You better believe it! If you think a FULL Price Realtor is expensive try negotiating with an agent who knows the game better than you. You get what you pay for, trust me.

13.  Your Furniture won't appraise. When you leave appliances in a vacant house.. I know they're free. What are you going to do, pay a company to move your 5 year old fridge across the country? NO! My buyers won't pay a dime! You're better off having a scratch & dent company pay you for these at a loss!

14. Your grass is dead, your wife's clothes are gone & it's obvious you are lonely. You'll execute your contract the same way. Almost always happens that way.