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The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'
The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and
walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.
'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are
good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case,
things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and
have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less
somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually
approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to
what the two were celebrating.
The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'
The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences
and beat a hasty retreat.
After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered,
'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer,
and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do
that??'
'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping
with your father after I'm gone.'
And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.
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