I love Bill Cosby during his stand up comic routines.  Have you ever read his book entitled Fatherhood?  It is an absolute classic.  It is absolutely hilarious.  If you have never seen him do a stand up routine, take the time to go see him.  He's great - and all of his jokes are clean.                        

On this Father's Day, I pulled out his book, to go back to some of my favorite parts.

'When a man has children, the first thing he has to learn is that he is not the boss of the house. I am certainly not the boss of my house. However, I have seen the boss's job and I don't want it...."

"Before we were married, my wife was a stunningly beautiful woman.  Today she is a stunningly beautiful woman whose mouth droops and who has conversations with herself."

"It doesn't make any difference how much money a father earns, his name is always Dad-Can-I?"

"No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal...but you will find yourself strolling down the road to the funny farm."

"People who have no children say they love them because they are so truthful. Well, I have done extensive fieldwork with five childred and can tell you as scientific fact that the only time they tell the truth is when they are in pain."

"No matter how much the pressure on your spinal cord builds up, never let these small people know that you have gone insane."

'If the American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right."

"No matter what you tell your child to do, he will do the opposite."

"I am never as happy as I deserve to be on Father's Day.  The problem is my presents...instead of buying them for myself; and so I get soap-on-a-rope.  ...I have 5 children, so each gets $20.  They go to the store and get two packages of underwear, each of which costs $5 and contains three shorts.  They tear them open and each kid wraps one pair of shorts for me.  Therefore, on this Fathers Day I will be walking around in new underwear and my kids will be walking around with ninety dollars change."

Happy Father's Day!

All of these quotes were taken from Bill Cosby's book, Fatherhood.