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REALTOR Speak ~ What They Really Mean

The description in the writeup and what they really mean---

* OLD WORLD CHARM - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning.

* CONTEMPORARY FEELING - Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.

* SECURITY SYSTEM - Neighbor has a dog.

* UPDATED KITCHEN - Sink no longer overflows.

* CONVENIENT - Located on freeway entrance ramp.

* MINT - Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.

* NEUTRAL DECOR - No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls.

* MOVE IN CONDITION - Front door missing.

* COZY - No room larger than 9 x 6.

* DELIGHTFUL RURAL LOCATION - In flight path of nuclear bomber base.

* EASILY MAINTAINED - Requires at least two gardeners and live-in maid.

* MUCH SOUGHT AFTER - It's been on the market at least twice before and still no one wants it.

* QUIET, SECLUDED SETTING - On site of a proposed fraternity complex.

* RARE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY - No one else wants it.

* WELL SITUATED - In full view of the neighbors.

* WITHIN EASY DISTANCE OF - Next door to a pub and opposite a sex shop.

Posted by Gary Woltal - Assoc. Broker REALTOR® SFR Dallas Ft. Worth on 06/21/2009 11:48 PM

Comments (49)

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49 Comments on REALTOR Speak ~ What They Really Mean

JUN

2009

Well I can see what you are doing Mr Nightowl. Very interesting realtor talk you all have. LOL

Gary, LOL, those are very good. Don't forget babbling brook... water in the basement...

A favorite here is bucolic. Now let me just ask... doesn't that sound sick? This is used quite a bit on high end properties. Sounds like someone just threw up...

That's pretty funny...but true Gary!

JUN

2009

Gary,

Now this is the side of you I've been waiting for. ;)

Those are pretty funny Gary. Sad that so many of them are true, but still pretty funny.

Great and funny list. One that was popular here for a while was Peek-a-Boo view. Yeah right only if you hung out of the window.

Gary,

That is a fun post.

Several years ago I went to preview a property and as I went down the stairs to the basement, I found it was half full of water from a broken pipe. I immediately called the listing agent who was a friend and said, "I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that your listing is flooded and the good news is that now you can advertise it as a home with an indoor pool." I'm glad he had a sense of humor.

Gary --- Move in Condition -- cracked me up. I reblogged this thanks.

List and Sell (how do you describe "next to a cemetary") Gary @ RentonHomeFinder.com

Filtered view: Surrounded by dense forest.

Off-street parking: Just try getting back on the street.

Breathtaking view: Teeters on a cliff.

Seasonal stream: Floods when it rains. (Rain is always active in Oregon)

Hi Gary - this is pretty funny and it does make one think about the way they describe things. I see the weirdest stuff said in our MLS remarks, which we all know the public sees as well. If an agent can't figure out what's being said, the public sure isn't going to know what it means.

Ann

Dont' forget. .POSSIBLE EXTRA BATHROOM . .referring to the back yard !

Gary, Had a good laugh with this one. How about "low maintenance yard" = no yard at all!

Gary - I have lived in that delightful rural location (a rented unit in Albany, GA). Thanks for the chuckle to start the week.

I think this is what is referred to as puffing, not intended to be false advertising, but simply stretching the truth.

Like in a used car add...did you ever hear the word cream puff? I once saw that:))

Gary, I can't beleive you would give away all of our code words. LOL

Gary, How about RUSTIC - meaning the house in is dire need of new paint?! Ha!

Gary - Fun stuff - the humor is the level of truth it contains.

Gary...I think I have used a couple of these before. Great list!

Gary,

Finally...A plain speak real estate guide...!!! Thanks for breaking down the code for us...!!! :) Thanks, Fran

I laugh a lot and wonder a lot when I see descriptions of homes for sale. You usually find out exactly what each one means when you get to the home itself.

The cozy term is the one that gets me.... What you mean by cozy? That I have to stand on top of my husband in that room???

Immaculate also means there are some dings on the walls.

Pretty funny, Gary. I recently showed a 2/2/2 that the listing said had a guest suite and a trash compactor. There was neither. hmmmm...

What a funny list Gary! Loved it--a great read during my lunch break!

Have a prosperous week,

Anne Rains

Hi Gary, These made me laugh. I love the much sought after...no one wants it. Too funny.

So clever, Gary. Thanks for sharing. Have a great day. Elaine Giamona, Broker, Lincoln, CA

Gary-

Cheerful self-deprecation is the surest way to get a laugh. Great list, I enjoyed it.

Thanks Gary for sharing this lingo. I'll certainly be on the look-out when I am buying a house. HA!

Gary, That was an absolute riot, I have to copy it (if I'm allowed!). I especially loved "convenient." What a keeper :)

Gary,

Hahahahahahaha! Those were great! I can't stop laughing. I am going to reblog these.

Thanks for the laugh!

Brigita

HA! This is great!! Looking at the Facebook/Twitter updates of my real estate friends, I have a lot of translating to do! :-)

Gary,

I already see this post is reblogged. You really came up with some wonderful meanings for often used phrases. Unfortunately it is so true!

These were very funny Gary. Sometimes I read the description of the house as seen on the MLS out loud when the buyers and I are in the home. We howl laughing sometimes!! Obviously, I do not do this when the seller is at home!

Gary,

Haha, that was funny. Thank you for the Monday laugh.

Oh Gary! You have me ROLLING with this! Hysterical - and sadly, not far from the truth!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL

Debi

Thank you for the laugh tonight! These were funny...I liked the updated kitchen. Now, I'll have to go back and look at the remarks on our listings...I may have to change some :)

JUN

2009

Gary - What a hoot. Yes, the catch phases speak for themselves. Great post ...now, if you don't mind, I have to get back to woking on the marketing for my new listing that needs a little TLC.

You've spilled the beans, Gary! Now I'll have to come up with new lingo for my listings...

Great list -- gotta go change the descriptions on some of my listings! :-)

Thanks for the laugh.

Irene Tron

Great list -- gotta go change the descriptions on some of my listings! :-)

Thanks for the laugh.

Irene Tron

Great list -- gotta go change the descriptions on some of my listings! :-)

Thanks for the laugh.

Irene Tron

Gary, very funny, I especially liked the definition of old world charm... exactly!

Dear Gary,

Somehow you forgot one.

Deferred Maintenance= Everything is broken & is roof caving in because nothing has been fixed or cleaned since it was built 100 years ago.

;)

Gary - Thanks for decipering the code for us... "Fixer upper" must mean "it looks like heck but I want you to take a look at and I couldn't say it is a bargain with a straight face."

JUN

2009

Gary,

I'll take the within easy distance, next to a well-stocked pub. The other part someone else can have.

Gary - These are all true... I really like "Cozy", I've sold a couple of really "Cozy" homes.

I recall the cozy description used on the place I rented while in college. Cozy=Cramped tiny dump close to the university that you will pay WAYYY too much for. Thanks for the giggle!

I love this list! Ihave it on my bulletin board - and i look at it every time I go to write my ads!

AUG

2010

False Advertising of any kind is a hot topic for me right now. It's incredible and appalling how some agents that are clueless when it comes to Short Sales boast of hundreds of transactions and high closing ratios - neither metric being supported by the MLS.

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Gary Woltal - Assoc. Broker REALTOR® SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Flower Mound, TX

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Address: 2611 Cross Timbers Rd, Suite 100, Flower Mound, TX, 75028

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