We had an extraordinarily good speaker at our Tomball Business and Professional Women luncheon. Her name is Linda Talley and being a body language expert she spoke on "Non-Verbal Etiquette for the Business Woman". As I said this was a ladies group so her talk was geared for businesswomen. I thought about usina a title of "Women REALTORS® smile too much". You will need to watch the video below to get the full answer to that.
I have heard this before but verbal communication makes up 7% of all communication and non verbal makes up the other 93%. We spend so much time focusing on what we are saying without spending time focusing on what we are saying with our body language. We also have to remember that we may be reading what our clients are saying but they are also reading what we are saying.
She started out talking about how we stand. We probably all know that we need to be careful crossing our arms as it is stand offish. She said to stand with your hands by your side and your feet in the A position. She called this a power standing position. When you are introducing yourself a very powerful position is to put your hands in the steeple position. She recommended standing holding on to something which could be a wall with your hand on your hip. She said to be careful you did not go in the female fig leaf position with one hand on your desk and the other hand by your side.
At this point she went in to handshakes. She had us shake hands with a neighbor. We were then to look and see where our thumb was. If our thumb is on top it means we want to be the dominant person. She recommended that ladies always extend their hand first. She said this was important especially for men over the age of 45 as they were often taught not to touch a lady. She also said if a man squeezes our hand too hard then we have permission to squeak.
She next talked about women sitting. When men sit they take up a lot of room so our challenge is to take up as much room as we can. She said to put your arms on the armrest and gently rest them there to take up more space. You always want to turn your chair to a 45 degree angle so you are not confrontational. If there is a door you want to turn your chair so you can see the door.
Women like to smile more than men so when talking to men she said we need to be careful that we don't smile too much; otherwise they think we are agreeing with everything they say.She thought this was especially important for REALTORS®. At this point she was looking for the REALTORS in the group. Since I was making a video I was hoping there was another REALTOR in the group but no such luck and she caught me smiling as you can see in the following video.
She gave some tips on walking away. Most important when walking away you want to be very careful that you don't straighten your panties. She said just let them be bunched up. You just walk away and don't mess with anything. Now this is a gal problem but she did mention if she was talking to guys she would be talking about a different guy problem. As you reach the door turn back around and make some parting remark such as "talk to you on Tuesday etc". You want them to remember your face not your panty line. We need to be careful we don't turn around and give them a Princess Diana look.
She gave a gentle reminder that as soon as we get in to our car we are on the platform. You just never know who may be watching you. I recently was having an around the house day and ran to the grocery store thinking I could get in and out without seeing anyone as it was an odd time. You would know it I saw a builder friend that I had not seen in ages. The entire time we are talking I can't think about anything but how awful I look. This one hit home with me!!
She ended with a story about a caterpillar and a butterfly. So which do you want to be?
Comments(28)