Though Northeast Ohio is scattered with its fair share of low-key, neighborhood pubs, you wouldn't expect to find many along the stately manors dotting Lake Rd. in Avon Lake. The road, which hugs the shores of Lake Erie, is a veritable showcase of some of the area's grandest homes. But a showcase of the smallest bar?
Close Quarters Pub is everything the surrounding properties are not-and in a good way. The most obvious difference comes in size. The total floor plan, which includes bar, kitchen and storage area, can't be more than 500 square feet, and that's being generous. The décor is a notable departure from the well-landscaped facades across the street, with every square inch of its walls and ceilings cluttered with a haphazard collage of pictures, postcards, pennants and posters. The bottom-of-the-barrel prices are a stark contrast to the free-wheeling excess that surrounds it, and the clientele and the help are just as unassuming.
The result is an experience that, as the name suggests, is intimate in a stripped-down, no pretense, come-as-you-are kind of way-making these quarters a must visit on the Cleveland bar circuit.
Décor: The most distinguishing feature of Close Quarters Pub is the décor, but you certainly wouldn't think it from its exterior. The tiny, grey-siding building looks more like a landscape garage for the McMansions that line the surrounding lots of Lake Rd. Save for a neon sign that juts out from the front of the building, you would never even know its there.
The interior, however, is a completely different story. The walls and ceiling are a clustered collage of pictures, postcards, pennants and posters. While most of the decorations depict local neighborhood fixtures, high school teams and U.S. service corps, there are a few more humorous pieces of flare as well. One sign lists the dinner options: No.1 Take it. No. 2 Leave it. Another warns patrons to "Beware pickpockets and loose women." You get the idea.
Libations: Close Quarters Pub might be a small place, but that doesn't mean the beer selection is by any means lacking. The bar complements a handful of draft microbrews with an impressive collection of bottled beer ranging from domestics like Bud Light, Pabst and Rolling Rock to imports such as Heineken, Red Stripe and Corona. The former will set you back a paltry $2.50 while the latter cost a dollar more. And if you're feeling particularly adventurous, it also offers a few obscure brews including the Old Peculiar, a thick, old ale, and the Grolsch, a premium Dutch lager.
Service: Though the bar occasionally boasts a duel cast during peak hours, it's typically run as a one-man show -- Make that a cantankerous, one-man show. The old bartender has apparently spent way too much time in close quarters, as he shuffles listlessly behind the bar without saying so much as a word. So don't expect him to ask you what you want as you pull up a wooden-backed swivel chair to the bar. He'll simply approach, give a grunt, and then bring you back whatever you ask for in his slow, nonchalant way.
Service like this would be inexcusable anywhere else, but it would never be interpreted as offensive or standoffish here. Close Quarters is a place without pretense, remember? The ol' bartender doesn't need to put on a song and dance for you or any of the countless regulars that pop in and out. He's as much a part of the experience as the cluttered décor or the cheap booze. Without him, the place just wouldn't be the same.
The grub: Talk about a low-key affair. Close Quarters Pub serves some of the least presumptuous, cheapest food you'll find in Avon Lake. The menu features such bar staples as wings (which are fried to a golden crisp), the CQ burger and onion rings, as well as lake-inspired grub such as calamari and deep-battered perch. Just don't expect to break the bank on any of these and a smattering of other options (all of which are very good). Nothing on the menu is more than $6.50.
The crowd: The clientele, like the place itself, are low-key folk who enjoy a cold beer and deep-fried goodness. Stop by for dinner during weekday hours, and the place is a revolving door for area construction workers and landscapers who are battered, dirty and simply looking to unwind. Almost all of them seem to know that grumpy old bartender, and many know each other. Don't think of Close Quarters as a closed club, though. While they won't reach out to newcomers, these patrons certainly won't judge them either.
Insider tips: Play #3606 on the jukebox, you won't be disappointed.
The bottom line: Close Quarters Pub is a one-of-a-kind bar experience that's in a place you'd least expect to find it. Though the service isn't the most attentive and there's not much space to stretch out, it's a trip well worth making.
From Patrick Mayock
Special to Metromix
June 15, 2009
http://cleveland.metromix.com/bars-and-clubs/bar_review/inside-close-quarters-pub/1254169/content
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