Whether it's Craig's List, your local paper's classifieds or the Multiple Listing Service information, there is a special language to real estate. 

So as you head out to tomorrow's Open Houses, here are some tips to use your time wisely.  When the description starts out with the bold print, the not bold print is what it really means:

Bring Your Imagination: the place has not been staged and looks like ordinary people live there.

Bring Your Decorator: Martha Stewart would not approve.  It has carnivorous wallpaper, shag wall-to-wall, and cat claw marks on the grasscloth.

Bring Your Architect:  the back half of the house is about to cave in.

Room for Expansion:  the place is tiny.

Adorable: the place is really tiny.

Olde World Charm: it has prehistoric electrical and bathrooms.

Original Owner: the kitchen was absolute state of the art in 1940, the year the house was built.

Georgetown Garden: the back yard is the size of an oriental prayer rug.

Indoor Pool:  wet basement.

Nicest House in the Neighborhood:  it's over-improved.

Urban View:  refers to a condo with all windows facing a brick wall.

Or, you could work with a buyer broker who really knows the market where you are looking and who can take you to the good stuff, eliminating the wrecks that are ugly, overpriced or smell like kitty litter.

 

 
Post is included in group: "Whacked"!!!

13 Comments on How To Read A Real Estate Ad

JUN
27
182,936 Points Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

PAT..Thats a great way to put it..I like that..tweetthank you

Helpfulhannah

11:24pm • #1

Funny!  I love it when an agent writes "hard to find": does this mean the house can't be located without a GPS system?

11:24pm • #2
429,639 Points 59 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Pat!  That's an awesome list!  I had an agent ask me what 'fixer upper' meant one time--I told her that it's one that you can live in but, needs major renovations!  She said, "Oh, it's a rehab?"  I told her a rehab was not habitable--it needs 'fixing up before you move in!'  She's completely confused now!!

11:51pm • #3
JUN
28
361,775 Points 38 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Pat, Ad writing is fun and so is ad reading. In need of TLC really means Tons of Liquid Cash!

12:00am • #4
117,482 Points 6 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor

Cozy - very small

Gardener's Dream - overgrown landscaping and lawn

Close to Public Transportation - the bus stop is right outside your front door

Hardwood under carpet -- there's a reason for that

New appliances -- if new is means sometime within the last decade to you, it's new.

No question, we Realtors can make a place sound fantastic.  But we got to get people to look at it, in person.  There is only so much you can do online.  Besides online doesn't let you know the neighbors have have a landfill in their backyard.

5:25am • #5
158,413 Points 18 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Pat, Here are a few more:

"mini-loft" = cool new name for tiny studio

"partial river view" = if you stick your head out the window you can see a glimpse of the river

"won't last" = broker has a crystal ball

"Must see"  =  the pictures are horrible

"Priced to sell" what else would it be priced for?

Don't get me started on translating broker abreviations used in classified ads. Another blog.

6:58am • #6

Hey Pat,

I love these things...good to see you at TLW's little party yesterday. It is still going on!

all the best...

8:09am • #7
157,161 Points 5 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Patricia ~ Too funny! I am ashamed to say I have used a couple of the "bold" headers to describe so not so desirable properties! But some of the ones you mentioned I had never heard before. I love the "indoor pool" = Wet basement!

Have a wonderful Sunday!

8:35am • #8

Pat -

How about "upgraded appliances" -- fridge was replaced in 1972, stove in '81.

8:46am • #9
147,372 Points Localism Sponsor

I was just explaining to my husband that everytime I see cozy or charming I know i'm in for a tiny space that hasn't been updated in years.  I love this list.

8:46am • #10
232,983 Points 5 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Pat --- this is a great list --- "Like New" is used a lot here --typically means something a lot less that new

Thanks for sharing.

Mama Liz's Signature

1:35pm • #11
JUN
29
223,519 Points 12 Featured Posts Outside Blog

"Close to Transportation" - On a BUSY Road !    Thanks for sharing these Pat  LOL.

10:14pm • #12
JUL
02
Outside Blog

LOL, I love it!  I especially love the definition for adorable!  Hope you are well!

12:16pm • #13

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Patricia Kennedy

Washington, DC

More about me…

Evers & Company Realtors

Address: 4400 Jenifer Street NW, Washington, DC 20015

Office Phone: (202) 364-1700

Cell Phone: (202) 549-5167

Email Me

Pat Kennedy -- author of The Irreverent Guide to Real Estate -- gives you a look at life on the streets as a real estate broker in our nation's capital. And her blog is peppered with great advice combined with humor!


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