Lets have the Media report about Solutions, not Fodder!

After Michael Jackson his his tragic run, suspect one of the cable news stations will dust off Anna Nicole, just for drill.

Donno about you, but we’re pretty much of singular mind these days. What we want to hear is really about two things, and two things only:
(1) solutions for the recovery of our national economy
(2)  and how the wars on the planet will immediately come to end.

Ok, just kidding. We want more pomp, rather than circumstance. Who wouldn't? After all, we’re a distraction oriented poplulace; solutions may come and go, but not at the expense of mind numbing froth.

The economy will take care of itself... sooner of later. And Neville Chamberlain couldn’t find peace in his time, so why should we? Besides, a good war always helps an ailing economy. We just need a bigger one, that’s all.

And until any of these naive, utopian fantasies about prosperous times and world peace comes about, lets get back to the real nitty gritty. The relentless pursuit of trivia is what the collective we is all about.

Not necessarily in rank of priority, just keep soothing mental gems on subjects like these coming. (Why carry on about nothing by talking about it once when you can reinforce that its nothing over weeks of news cycles, or more?)

Lets hear more about  Rod Blagojevitch. That he’s a bum and they’re going to get rid of him isn’t enough. And who cares that the feds have assured us that O’Bama had nothing to do with any of it? We can always speculate, spread rumor, and hope for more. Sensationalism always trumps fact, don’t you know? (just ask Ann Coulter)

Can't we just go ahead and talk about Gov. Rod until we beat the cliche out of a dead horse? Or we're into the bardo transition of our next incarnation? Road kill circling vultures are tame compared to the joyful hunger of our media appetite.

Oh genuflect inspiring media ooms, don’t leave that new senator now. Is Roland Burris the Man of the hour? Nope, life is too short, and this story isn't. There’s more fools gold to be media mined on this hill. Lets talk and ramble on incessantly about what color he is. Indeed, just looking at images of him isn’t enough for us to realize that he is black, we got to be told!  And reminded, ad infinitum.

Alas, too, what glee it is to hop, skip and jump past the fundamental principle of our justice system. That dear Roland was appointed by a man, ok, we already said “bum”, who is nevertheless innocent until proven guilty; we can forget about that. We can just decide that he should’nt be seated.  Innocence is arbitrary when it confronts agenda. It’s better theater too.

(Besides, we can always change our mind later, which is much easier than changing the Illinois appointment law.)

Just tell me how much weight did Oprah lose? Exactly. Down to the ounce, and where. (Anywhere is fair game except for telling us about thighs.)  An hourly report on the ebb and flow, that’s what we need. What she eats, drinks, and the daily dessert intake is the holy grail of Oprah weight watching. Right now she’s a tenth of a ton. Forget exercise, the more the merrier. Less is cool too. We just want to know.

It’s sacrilege, of course, to keep Sarah Palin out of the news. Ever! Here Seward’s Folly Dolly should always reign supreme. If she burps, hiccups, farts, blinks, clears her throat, loads her musket, says something smart, a nearby moose foals, one of her kids delivers, or someone she knows, or doesn't know, gets busted for drugs, we got to know about it.

Especially now our Sarah lovin' ears are newly attuned, begging, because of the raw deal poor dear got compared to Caroline Kennedy. If only she was a Democrat, that Katie Couric would not have asked her what she reads. Tough questions like that aside, the public has a right to know.

(Comparing Sarah to Caroline, though, in any aspect other than they're both women, breathe, have hair on their heads, and use all of their appendages, does seem a bit of a stretch, doesn't it?)

Not to be outdone with celebrity, thank your lucky stars, the grease monkey report needs to keep on coming too. America is a classless society, but we need proof! Lets see Joe the Plumber have 6 months or  more, instead of the normal 15 McLuhan minutes. After all there’s a huge segment of our culture that has often wondered what a neer-do-well, posing as a plumber, favored by circumstance to win a media-lottery would have to say about peace in the Middle East. (Apparently, a stint as a reporter investigating advances in booth construction at PVC Conventions, or covering the pro tractor-pull circuit just wouldn't do.)

And if all of this isn’t enough, though we hope all these distractions have a long shelf life, its always possible we can resurrect winken, blinken and nod. (Remember them?)

Paris will always be around when we need her, and soon enough Britney will be far enough away from bi-polar disorder for more taunting media fun and frolic. In the meantime we can also check in on what Lindsay and Samantha, are, or are not doing to, or with, each other.

Now consider this, if prosperity and world peace occurs while the media rags on and on, it still would have happened anyway, and we wouldn't miss out on all of this other, more important fun after all.