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Being Mindful of Our Reputation Online

A very successful young woman treated all who worked under her like they were less than. She was mean and did not care who she hurt with her demanding haughty demeanor and words. All the office workers talked behind her back and everyone was in on letting each other know when ‘her highness' arrived in the office.

Long story short, she was in a bind and her whole life was in jeopardy because she was from Canada but violated her Visa. She threatens her assistant that he'll be without a job too if he doesn't marry her so he agreed. During the course of meeting her soon to be ‘in laws' she discovers what it's like to be in a real family (her parents died when she was young) and what it's like to love and be loved.

Last weekend we went to see the movie "The Proposal" and the whole story was hilarious from beginning to almost the end. In the end, she left his parents home and went back to New York without marrying and on her way back to Cananda.

He followed her and met back up with her in the office

..... and you'll have to go see the movie to find out the ending!

In the course of my life I have run across many people who became successful and trampled on everyone once they got to the top. They forgot who they really were.....where they came from. Bottom line...they let it get to their head.

A successful person (no matter how much money or fame acquired) amounts to nothing if they affect everyone around them in a negative way. All that fame and fortune does not fill that void that the person may have if all they care about is everything outside self.

I will remember where I came from.

None of us made it to the top overnight (depending what your "top" is)

I choose not to lose respect from any for the sake of a written word.

I will continue to be aware....of how I affect other people.

It's the nature of our business to be mindful online.

Posted by Celeste "SALLY" Cheeseman HAWAII Relocations & Real Estate on 07/04/2009 09:30 PM

Comments (46)

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46 Comments on Being Mindful of Our Reputation Online

JUL

Hi SAlly This is a wonderful message. We all know people like that and my attitude to their actions is just wait...what goes around comes around. I know someone who you do not have a difference of opinion with. It is his way or no way. The strange thing is that he has less than a year of experience as a Realtor. I do believe there are givers in this world and then there are the takers and the takers take very ruthlessly. These people have respect for no one ..there fellow agents, their profession or their clients....they respect one thing ..the money they take to the bank...pushing everyone out of the way while they make the run to get back just to run all over everyone else again. These people ...not my favorite...can you tell?

"It's the nature of our business to be mindful online."

Actually ... we should be mindful of how we might impact others all the time. And no matter how you slice it ... everything we do carries a ripple effect ... and one ripple touches another ... and another ... and ...

I'm but one ripple, as are you. But when ALL of us speak/act/impart reactions ... the ripples are larger and further reaching.

A very insightful post, my friend. :)

[I know someone who you do not have a difference of opinion with. The strange thing is that he has less than a year of experience as a Realtor.]

I suspect he will not make it too far beyond, June . . . bigger they are, harder they fall.

I always wonder about the burden people like that must carry internally. It seems to me that people who held themselves up as something amazing (especially online) often are really the most tragic and unhappy--and their online 'press' is really all they have. Goddess bless them. :) But talk is cheap. And claiming to be "big time" doesn't necessarily make it so.

"By your works shall you be known."

Good post, Sally. It's the nature of our business to be mindful on and offline.

Good analogy and a good movie as well. It is so important to be so very, very careful what one writes on line, as what is written, is written. This may come back to haunt some people many years from now. In the coming years we will hear about blogs that people in the limelight posted and it will make the news. My attorney told me to pretend that everything you write could be on a projector in a courtroom. How would you respond to an attorney who ask you what did you mean when you wrote this?

Hi Candice How did you know ...he is very big...I am glad that these types are few and I agree Sally's message is clear and truth to the core

Tim: Good one...that definitely should be a good topic for a post for you. That in the courtroom question...you would think that some things that are said could be used against them.....such as fair housing laws and such :)

Candice: On and offline for sure although I have written about this time and again. For some reason some think that this platform is hidden or something. lol.

Carole: I agree...always ..no matter what. Spefically I was talking about the pounding on the keyboard to puff ones self up...only to be the fool in the long run after running all over the 'other' people they believe are less than them. yuk. :)

June: Oh...there will always be those 'types' in this world...it's up to us to keep the balance...and I am fine with that. Main reason being is that I have no control over anyone in this world ....except ....ME. :) Hope you're having a nice night.....we'll be closing our windows and putting on the A/C shortly. Can't handle the smoke :)

Very well put, Sally. We all need to be mindful of our thoughts, words and actions - whether online or IRL.

and I am glad you enjoyed the movie!

Hi Sally Me again ....I just read your response and I am going to make that my motto and pin it to my desk

" I have no control over anyone in this world ....except ....ME. "

Boy is that powerful..I like it better than " Don't sweat the small stuff " Thanks for the inspiration...that sentence

raises a person above pettiness and arrogance and will definitly help put everything into perspective. Thanks

I haven't seen this movie yet but I am always mindful of who might read these comments or posts.

Maria: the ones in real life we can pick out with their behavior and demeanor....the ones online can fool you for a period of time..until that fateful day...when everything you thought good of them went out the window with a few unkind words.

Lisa: I think that'll be my favorite of the year so far...and most likely throughout!

June: It really helps me keep the focus on me and not get angry. I can feel upset but usually the self talk will get my mind back into perspective. What's not too good is when I start talking back lol. Actually, good food for thought ...many a time over :)

Lizette: I promise you'll love the movie! And yes, no matter what movie....we can be mindful :)

Sally...

I was a fresh upstart when i started all of this blogging stuff, but I found out the making real friends and developing real relationships is what is REALLY important about what we do here. Great Post!

Featured in the Group "Whacked!!!"

Sally, great post, after reading this I was trying to think if my fingers ever walked where they should not have. I try my best to be mindful at all times. I think sometimes maybe I come thru too much of myself, but that is me. Great job, as always!

Sally- Being successful is more than acquiring fame on fortune. A truly successful person has a positive impact on the people a round them.

Sally- In my mind those types are not successful at all. I think that when you have to step on others and forget the ropes you had to climb that you have issues, big issues within yourself and that certainly does not equate to success:)

JUL

Sally,

You are a fantastic writer. I loved the way you progressed throughout your blog and then suddenly let us know you were talking about a movie and then you moved on to apply it to our lives.

It was a great message.

Hi Sally - I agree with your philosophy. But I try to have a bit of patience with some people like that, because often they simply feel insecure and fear that unless they keep fighting, even though they are already at the "top", that they will fall back down to the bottom.

Another portion of them doesn't really realize how demanding they are. These are the ones who have been held in awe for so long and catered to so much, with people jumping to please them, that they lose their sense of perspective and get used to that treatment. They are sometimes shocked to hear that they are considered mean and demanding. They think people just want to wait on them, as they always have.

Sounds strange, but I have known some in each of these categories, and they were not bad people, but that didn't ease the pain of those around them. I just wouldn't play that game, but I was friendly about it and did pay them genuine compliments when they were deserved - nothing when not.

Sally, I think that's true in many, many professions, not just real estate. It's sad that people seem to define success by what they own...a bigger house, a better car--money. Funny that I know someone who believes they are successful, they have lots of things that money can buy and not a friend in the world. I feel sorry for them, they don't know the meaning of family or friends.

Sally this is very well said. Some people will do or say anything to get ahead and they just don't ever find true success. Respect is earned by treating others with respect for what they are able to do not for being the biggest star. Hope you had a great 4th of July

An attitude of success regardless of who you step on is unfortunately common place in today's world. It is not for me either...OK, is this a comedy or a chic flick?

Sis - Insightful wisdom doesn't begin to articulate what I feel is a very powerful and timely message here. I always kind of liked the philosophy of "did you leave the world a better place than you arrived upon it?" I suppose the same can be said of those around you and your affect on them while you are here. You're pretty smart for a big sister;)

Sally - I tell my kids this all the time. Once it's online it's very very hard to erase> Everything we post needs to be something we are proud to have anyone read! We'll go see the movie!

Have a happy Sunday!

Sally,

I agree with June your statement that "I have no control over anyone in this world..except me"!! is one to live by. If we all kept this in mind there would be fewer divas!

The high society and elitist of our industry really chap my hide. I can't stand snooty people

Sally... well said and this could be a good lesson for so many. You mentioned this...

"A successful person (no matter how much money or fame acquired) amounts to nothing if they affect everyone around them in a negative way."

I believe in this so much.... you did a good job in putting this in a positive perspective.

jeff belonger

Richard: It really is Richard... and that's how we find out who the people are....behind their words.

Andrea: At least you are sensitive and being aware or thinking about if you've crossed the line. Some are oblivious. Remember...when you say 'that's just me' it means there is no room for change.

Carole: I truly believe that. I have known some people for over a year and they gradually changed into .... fire blowing out of their nostril dragons burning everyone they cross paths with along the way. I (as many others) experienced some grief and suffering although it takes one who wants to move on...to forgive and get out of the victim stance mode. In that respect we remember where we came from and proud of what we become. The others keep hurting and covering up with material or other things that are OUTSIDE of self. No void filled with a good sense of self and healthy relationships with others.

Okay, folks...coffee kicking in lol!

Jennifer: It sure is. I like people like Bill Gates. Suttle, Humble and quite successful. Giving back is another good quality of his. Funny though, he doesn't have to toot his horn all over the place and say 'see how great I am'.

Katerina: Everyone has issues...it's all in the manner of how they handle it.

Gary: Thanks...it becomes a meaningful flick when there's a lesson to be learned in it :)

Susan: There is nowhere else to go but to have patience. That's not to say I would consider these types my friend. Nope. When people continue to hurt others around them without awareness of how they affect others...it just tells me one thing. They are not real nor true. Sad.

Carole: Oh, yes. It's all over Carole. That's just it. It's only stuff. The house burns down and they wreck the car. And left with ...nothing and no one. And still sitting there wondering...why.

Paddy: Success comes from inside. No matter how much money, transactions or fame nothing can replace a shining from the inside out individual who need not brag or boast but just be themselves. I like people like that. :)

Gary W: It is common place in this world...but will not be a part of mine. I put up big barriers and walls for people like that :)

My lil bro: Timely indeed. You see the same things little brother. Indeed. We are born and we die. What is done in between is what REALLY matters. We choose our own paths (obviously) and I choose not to affect others around me in a negative way. I am pretty smart for a big sister aren't I? lol!

Dorie: Oh yes....fewer would be nice lol

Greg: Chap your hide. hmmm is that like a thorn in your butt? lol. Me too :)

Jeff: A great lesson indeed buddy. I always try to give a message that some may learn. Unfortunately, the ones we speak of are clueless, oblivious and are unaware.

OK so here's my 2 cents worth. I am a very observant person and have been watching some of this unfold over the last few weeks. Maybe just maybe people don't realize what they are doing because the intent is not there. Intent is everything in this world. We ALL have little "thingies" that others may dislike. It's my opinion that a person cannot be rude or condecending if they don't realize they are being that way. Make sense?

Being careful about how we act and what we write about works both ways.

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Approach the person you are having these thoughts about and give them the benefit of the doubt. In it's own way this post is doing exactly what you are against.

No one can cause another to be affected in a negative way. Negativity is an emotion. Only we can control our emotions.

Sally,

What a great post. I am blessed starting a new group and some great bloggers to grace my page.

I didn't know Jason was your brother.

BB: You were right on one count. Being careful about how we act and what we write about works both ways. I did make a call to one person ...thanks for the advice. It's one person whom I know to be soft spoken so good we got to talk. I beg to differ on my post. It was meant to hopefully get out a message to many...not just one. In that...you made a mistake. And positivity is an emotion as well. Learning lessons for all I believe. :)

Terry: Thanks...and he's the little brother I didn't have before... :)

Sally that type of success is not success in my book, and something that I can do without. Stepping on others to elevate yourself is a poor way to live, and only leads to being stepped on in the future.

OK cool. My apologies if I read too much into it. I'm the new AR hall moniter :) Hey where's Randy been?

George: I see it every day...online offline and right in my face in business and real life. Sometimes it's a great reminder in how we live day to day...to be mindful of others around us and how we portray ourselves :)

BB. No problem. You try :) Randy is VERY busy ....I help him too :)

JUL

Sally -- I really liked your post -- and appreciated the way you wove the movie synopsis into the point you were making. I remember the old saying be careful on the way up, you never know who you'll meet on the way down - it's similar to what some have said. But really whether one is 'up' or 'down' going somewhere or not, I believe it is about how we do the journey. My hope is that when I am gone, people will say that for the most part, I was gentle and kind on my way, and when I missed it, or lost it - that I worked to get back on track. I also realize from the comments that I must not read enough blogs. I hope what ever it is, it has been resolved.

I loved it as well. A positive leader is a long term succesfull one. Positive lasts the test of time.

Hi Sally! How inspirational! I'm with you, I'd rather leave a positive legacy by living a life that does not diminish the value of others' lives but, builds upon it--helping others shine is my mission, certainly not bringing them down!

Have a wonderful week...

Alexsandra: It wasn't an 'issue'. If you've read enough of my posts here you'd see every once in awhile I get a bug up my behind to kick me in to learning mode :) Being kind will always be for me to be gentle with others while not enabling them to continue on a path of destruction....sometimes, reading a post can help MANY. :)

Terry: It sure does!

Debe: Me too. I liked your last post. Though the news is bleak I still want to have hope and be an inspiration to those that feel that their lives are worthless. No life is worthless.

JUL

This sounds like one you wrote a long time ago....and I know I wrote one my first few months on AR...amazing how many people forget how what they write affects others ;)

Kathy: That's why we write and set out little reminders. No matter what some may think...this is a real estate network. Did you go to realestatewebmasters.com yet? I really like that. They even zapped me for copying and pasting a post of mine from here to there. Makes me work harder but all original stuff. :)

No haven't had time to take on anymore networks....the ones I have keep me busy enough :) Good moderating is key to keeping a clean sandbox :)

It has always amazed me that "success" can be found by many different people. Take the person that is constantly negative, always complaining and always a bummer to be around. Im sure we all kno w somebody that fits thisrole. Or the person that isn't willing to change and accept a new partner or willing participant. One would think that all of these traits wouldn't lead to any kind of success whatsoever, but amazingly I find it time and time again. Then you have the people that are just nasty. rude and downrightmean. It boggles my mind that they can find any form of success in their life. After-all aren't we born knowing two things...

1. Dont stick your finger into a light socket

2. Be kind and do unto others.

Kathy: Exactly.

Dave: It's one thing to take a risk...anther to gain experience and trust. I won't ever stick my finger in a light socket...because I know...and trust that it will not be a pleasant experience. :)

JUL

Hi Sally, I loved that movie too by the way! And your point is very valid; we should all watch what we say or write whether it's online or in person. I try to be an encouragement to others, not to bring them down. I believe you can rise to the top without trampling over everyone.

Have a great day,

Anne Rains

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