If you are obsessed with Golf like I am, these are rules you are very familiar with:
• Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
• Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
• When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
• The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
• No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
• A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.
• Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
• The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
• You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of the time.
• Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
• Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogies to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
• A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
• If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
• A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are.
• If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
• If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
• It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer, and eat hot dogs if you are performing Brain Surgery!!!!
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