Negotiating Real Estate Deals - Aggressive vs. Assertive

Many times I get asked by potential clients how aggressive I am in negotiating for their interests in real estate transactions.  I always have the same answer, I try NOT to be aggressive, but rather assertive.

The Difference between Assertive and Aggressive

My definition of aggressive negotiation is always 'winning' at any cost.  It's not really negotiation as such, it's more using every tactic, avenue, and technique to get your way and burning any bridge you need to at the time without consideration of the future. 

Assertive negotiation may not always win every point of contention or issue, but when the issue is resolved, it is something that both parties can live with.

The advantage of assertive over aggressive techniques is that it is not the 'hard sell'.  For example, let's say you have a minor inspection issue that you agressively negotiate for the buyers to the point where, as the buyer's agent, you make the seller bleed every last dollar.  Not only are the sellers going to be upset that they got pushed so hard, but they will be looking for every opportunity to repay the favor.  An opportunity may easily arise at the closing table, let's say a delay in funding from the lender thru no fault of the buyer.  The seller could technically declare a default and take the earnest money as the seller may have no incentive left to keep the contract or sell the house at the terms that were aggressively pursued by the buyer's agent.

Should this scenario happen, the buyers didn't win, even though they got the last $10 from the sellers over some minor inspection issue.

Keeping the ultimate negotiating goal in mind

It is always important that the agent and client keep their ultimate goal in mind when entering into any negotiations.  Winning at negotiation involves keeping the ultimate goal in mind, not trying to win every point just for the sake of winning.