Pigs have just flown, it froze in Hell, and the bear just pooped in the woods (oopps, wrong saying... sorry). Anyway my life has been turned upside down, in a good way, by some hocus pokus stuff. After a lifetime of migraines (2 - 3 a week growing up) I not only have found how to deal with them... I no longer get them. I think. Maybe too soon to tell, but it seems like they are gone. Poof. Vanished into Outer Space. It's magic.
For years I have felt like I want to mind meld into a Star Trek episode, so the Doc could run that electrical gizmo over me, then proclaim, "You need chromiumzincoziumoxideosis... for some reason you lack it, and that's why you feel funky all the time. Captn' hand me that bottle. There. You are cured".
Yeah, well life doesn't happen that way. Dang. But last week, for me, it did. It did happen just like that. And I just ate a cheese omelet that would have sent me into migraine orbit last week. And I feel GREAT.
So, I'm a pretty concrete person. No Woo-Woo in my life. I don't believe in ghosts, or the tooth fairy. I'm pretty much "I gotta see it to believe it". But a few friends have had some amazing results with an Alternative Medicine guy in town, Dr. Kwiker. Like blood pressure back to normal, and 100 point drop in cholesteral. So what have I got to lose... I made an appointment.
I've spent the past two years totally paying attention to what I eat and have discovered 13 little ingredients that make me feel bizarre, and one that gives me a migraine, cheese. Read about it here. My goal in seeing him was to find out what I can take when I accidently eat one of these poison-like foods (like nutmeg, that makes me sick). He started out asking a few questions... "Have you ever had mumps or measels, do you sleep through the night, what do you eat mostly, do you get leg cramps,... I forget what else, but they were odd questions. Oh, and he looked at my fingernails.
Then he said "You're lucky. I think I can make your migraines and this funky feeling you get completey go away. Best part??? It will be cheap, and quick. Like today! I'm pretty sure I know what it is, but let's confirm with a test." And you think I believe you?... you must be nuts, I am thinking. Not today. Not in one day. Ain't happenin.
So he set me in a chair and had me hold a wet handle, I presume a conducter. He watched a computer screen as he placed a little pen-like thingy on my index finger at points. "These are the accupuncture points", he said. Yeah, right... as if this is going to work. You sure you are not quack-er, instead of Kwiker? hee, hee, hee... pleased with how originally clever I am. How do you do this with a straight face? This is getting bizarre.
I watch the screen. Theres a horizontal green line in the middle. An electronic mark keeps appearing and zooming up to the top of the screen as he pokes different places. He keeps making choices in the computer, then says "OK. If I'm right, this time the line will stay in the green zone." ZTTTT.... right into the green zone. Don't know what it means, but I'm impressed. He does a few more..... zzztttt.... up to the high side. Then... "OK, again if I'm right, this one will stay in the green." It does. "Just what I thought", he said. Hmmmm....
OK, now it gets wierd. He grabs two vials from the shelf with Latin names on them. "Put 3 of these under your tongue, from each bottle." They taste like breath mints. Sweet. He then tests my finger again. ZZTTT... right into the green zone. Hey.... so fast???? They haven't even dissolved yet!!!!
"We're done. Take three of these once a day for 5 days, then throw them away. They won't help anyone else, and they will be done for you. These are the specific things YOU need to get back in balance."
OK, so where are the needles in my head for the Electro Encephlogram, or the brain scan, or CAT scan... or maybe a DOG scan for crying out loud. How do you know this, and how can it be so simple? This is frikken bizarre!!!!
So now I'm paraphrasing here... but this is what I got. He said there is residual bad ju-ju left over from a severe case of some childhood disease. Like... crud or cobwebs. I remember later that when I had measles, I had a whoppin bad case of them. Even my mouth was full of them. I was under 1, and sick as a dog. And I may have had mumps, but Mom can't remember. He said I was out of whack from that, and his little machine confirmed what was lacking, or what was screwed up, or something.... but those little pills gave me what I need to restore the "balance". Cue the eerie music...
So, this is so frikken bizarre, and so NOT in my realm of understanding or beliefs. But I can't argue the results. I have tried EEG's, phenobarbital, heart-regulating medicine, meditation, bio-feedback, excercise, no excercise, wishing, crying, chiropractic adjustments... what else? I've changed my diet... actually that helped. Through the Eat Right for Your Type diet (about blood types), I discovered all the things that make me feel bad. I've taken enzymes. I've kept the pain medicine manufacturers in business. (Imetrex and Maxalt, I love you...). But still, I've had to avoid the things that make me feel bad, or ZAP... into the funk.
But I'm done. Thanks to some woo-woo pills, and the vision Star Trek gave me about possibilities in life. And to Dr. Kwiker who was put on this planet to know the things he does, so I can feel better. At least that's MY story. And I'm stickin' to it.
WOW, is all I can say.
thanks, Big Stock Photos and thanks Dr. Kwiker