Safety Steps for Women Realtors - Don't Make Yourself a Target!

I have not been in the Rain for a while.  After being gone for a while I have to tell you,  what I really want to do is write about how my daughter just took the honors of top student web designer in the nation.  But I felt this was more important.  Oddly enough, there have been many times I started writing this but it just seemed there was always something else more important.  Then it became to close for comfort . . .  .

Women Being assultedWhether we want to admit it or not, women are sometimes at a serious disadvantage.  It has nothing to do with knowledge about the intricacies of real estate.  It has nothing to do with the fact that we have to take time off to have babies.  Women, I believe, are pretty much equals with men in real estate with one huge exception.  It was the way God created us, but we are smaller and for the most part will never have the power that a man has.  Unfortunately, there are men out there in the world who will exploit that weakness to their advantage.  I let my guard down last week but ,by the Grace of God, a mistake kept me safe when I believe it could have been horrible.  This is my story.

I have been really busy and I took a call and made an appointment to show one of my listings and continued on with what I was doing without missing a beat.  But I should have slowed down to think about what I was doing.  I AM smarter than this and I have always been really careful, but it didn't even sink in that it was a man by himself.  It didn't even dawn on me to be worried about--it is Hudsonville/Jenison for crying out loud.  Paul Harvey has even reported our area to have the highest number of churches per capita than any other area in the nation.  I am still usually much safer but I was on warp speed mode.

The next day rolled around and I was suppose to meet him at noon.  As I went to walk out the door, I told my son if he wanted a ride to work then he better hurry up and come with me and I would drop him on the way.  We were halfway to his work when I realized I had done it again, thought he had to be at work at noon when he is actually suppose to be there at 1 pm--he missed it to.  So I told him to come with me on my appointment which wasn't that far away.  Now normally he would be driving as he needs drive time, but this time he was sitting in the passenger seat.

We got there at about 5 minutes before noon and pulled into the parking spot in front of the house which was parellel to the road but kind of at an angel. . .  .and we waited . . .and waited . . and waited.  At around 12:15 a guy went by the house slowly and was really rubber necking it--leaning across the seat and looking really hard at the house--or so I thought!  Truthfully, I just thought wow he is really interested in this house.  The house sits about 200 feet off the road so with the angel and everything, he didn't see me watching him.  He could only see my son.  I didn't really think that much about it.  We waited until 12:30 and left--I haven't had a no show in years.  Still oblivious to what had just happened.

When I got back to my desk I called the seller to apologize that she and her family had to leave for no reason.  She asked me when I had taken the call to show the property and I said, "I don't know, sometime yesterday am".  She said there was a vehicle that was stopped in the front of the house talking on the phone at right around 10.  I said, "oh, what color was the truck".  There was  a long pause and she said, "Tami I didn't tell you it was a truck".  Serious chills ran down my spine.  "Oh dear Lord ," I said, "please don't tell me it was a red truck".  She confirmed that it was.  I felt sick to my stomach.  "Did it have a red matching topper?"  Long silence . . . ."yeah it did". 

I hung up the phone and with dread, pulled up the phone number he had given me and called it and listened to the computer voice tell me how this phone was no longer in service.  Dear God in Heaven . . .he had driven by and seen a man with me and had kept going . . . .he had planned on me being alone.  I knew it and my seller knew it.  I called the police and told them what happened and they asked me if I had taken the plate number.  I hadn't because it hadn't dawned on me what was going on until long after I had left.

I let my guard down and I shouldn't have.  Let's face it, most Realtors can't afford to give up a client and that includes women.  But, I have had a plan that I have adhered to for years. . . and I slipped.  I would not have been prepared if I had been in a bad position.  My first plan is to have someone come with me.  When I can't find someone, I have a plan in place that is pretty thorough and I would like to share it with you.

#1.  Find out what you can about him before you meet him.  Where does he work, where is he staying.  Call and verify that what he tells you is true.  Believe me, when you call businesses and explain you are a women and wanted to verify who this man is, they commend you for not being  . . .well . . . .stupid.  Even better, ask who he is pre-qualified with and get their phone and information and call and verify that he is working with them.  I know many of you will say they should be pre-qualified before you even meet them.  On this I disagree,  but I don't want to debate that right now with this post.  I have called several companies when people say they just moved here for a new job--not once have I had anyone refuse to let me know that he did work there or he did have an appointment.

#2.  Before the appointment, call him and ask him for his drivers license number, plate number and the make, model and year of his car.  I have only had it one time that they refused and I had a creepy feeling anyway about him.  Most men are impressed that I am on my toes and thinking.  Tell him you will verify it when you meet.

#3.  Plan ahead and have someone who is keeping track of where you are and what homes you are showing and the addresses of all of them.

#4.  Do not ever meet your male clients in a secluded place.  If you don't know that exact area, pull it up on Google maps and look at the aerial picture.  It will tell you a lot about if the home is secluded or in a subdivision.  If it is in a secluded area, meet them in a busy parking lot first.

#5.  Carry pepper spray.  Keep it in a pocket but don't put it on key chain so they see it--it takes away the surprise advantage.  You can buy it anywhere on line.

Car Opener#6.  Keep your keys in your hand.  Hold one key through your fingers so if you punched, it would stab.  You should also make sure you have a panic button for your car that will make the alarm go off by pushing a button.

#7.  Have a secret text you can use with your point person to let them know if you are in trouble and a different text if you are ok.  My text that someone sends me 15 minutes after I am suppose to meet him is, "what did you do with the key".  If I text back, "I left it under the flower pot" they know I am ok.  If I don't text back within five minutes, they call the police.  If I know I am in trouble, I text back, "it is under the garbage can".  From there I have to text every 15 minutes.  The next text that my point person sends is, "the key isn't there".  If I am ok then I text back, "check both flower pots".  You get the idea.

#8.  When you arrive at the appointment.  Verify his info, then take his picture and a picture of the vehicle and text it to your point person.  They should be waiting for this.  If they don't get your  info, they immediately send the secret text.  If you don't respond or respond the wrong way, they immediately call the police.

Is this fool proof?  I am sure it isn't-- nothing really is.  But, this sure puts us in a better position!

Pass this around, print it, reblog it, copy it in any way you want.  You never know what women you might save!

THIS IS AN ADDITION AS I THOUGHT IT WAS GOOD INFORMATION

Dawn Maloney had some good advice:

Check out their name on www.pipl.com, google.com or 123people.com - she actually kept herself from showing a serial rapist a home by doing this.  Thank you Dawn!!

Brian Block said:

I'd highly suggest to you, and all women (and men) to read the book "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin de Becker. I can't recommend it enough. This book will change your perspective on the world and make you more aware of your surroundings and how you can prevent dangerous situations.

 
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136 Comments on Safety Steps for Women Realtors - Don't Make Yourself a Target!

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

JUN
23
2010
119,666 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog

As a home inspector I often inspect homes where it is painfully obvious that the male is no longer in residence.  That means that most people viewing the home would see the same thing.  Stay safe yourself but also advise your female lister's to pretend the absent member is still there with a photo together, some "guy" stuff where he used to leave it and appropriate clothes in the closets.  It may understandably be a little painful to have these reminders around but much less painful than an attack.
6:11pm • #119

Tami,

Great post.  A good reminder as to how vulnerable we all are (men included).

Just a thought:  I have often heard your suggestion about holding your keys in in a fist in such a way as have a key sticking out between your fingers.  The idea is to use this as impromptu brass knuckles.  In my opinion, this is not a good idea.  First of all, you'll break your fingers. Try hitting a phone book like this you'll see what I mean.  Also, most women don't know how to punch and don't possess the upper body strength to punch effectively.

A better way is to grip your keys in a fist with the keys protruding from the side. Delivering a hammer blow this way will probably be more effective.
Robin Sagadraca
6:15pm • #120
168,493 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog Called Shot Master

So glad you're safe!  I hope that guy gets caught.
9:40pm • #121
JUN
24
2010
247,590 Points 32 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I had a very close call myself last year. I followed safety and THANK GOD. I had gotten a call the day before from a man wanting to see a property. It was vacant land by the way. I NEVER show vacant land by myself. My area is to rural. Like you I was very rushed that day. Without even thinking if there was a male available the next day to accompany me I agreed. I took down the number he gave me later to find it was the number to one of our local hotels. That evening I scoured trying to find someone to meet with me. The 2 males that were in my office were booked. I knew I couldn't do it alone. I find another female agent thinking well at least we are in two's. I arrived at my office where I was meeting the gentlemen. It was a Sunday. We waited and waited. Nothing. But in the meantime I kept getting this really eerie feeling. Like I was being watched. I thought I was just over thinking. Half and hour went by and I told the other Agent/Friend I would call the number to see if perhaps he got lost as he said he wasn't from here. That's when I realized it was to the Hotel. I asked if so and so was there and they said there was no one there by that name. Now, I am really spooked. So, that's it. I am leaving. We get into my car and I am not 2 blocks away and my phone rings from a restricted number. I answer and it was this gentlemen. He said " You didn't tell me you were bringing a friend ! " Pretty freaking bold and I still get chills when I think about it and while writing it here. I started to question him and you would only hear long hard breaths into the phone. I hung up and drove immediately to the Police Station and told them what had happened and filed a report. This man watched from the parking lot of the Wal Mart Plaza across the street from my office. This is my likely assumption since the only thing next door to us was , yes, creepy, a Funeral Home and no cars were there. The next day when pulling up my MLS our Association advised us to " be on the look out " 2 women had been raped in 2 adjacent towns from me showing VACANT PROPERTY. Could this be the same person ? Probably. The difference between them and I is I refused to meet at the property only my office. They showed up at the property and alone.

Thanks for sharing your story. We can never be to careful. I can tell you from first hand experience this memory will stay with you forever. It has with me. I am always looking for the red flags now more than ever. Sometimes it gets exhausting and I found myself being suspicious of everyone. It sucked for a while but with the right safety plan like you described it gets a whole lot better. It did help put many new safety measures in place at our office.
12:58am • #122

Women tend to forget about the dangers out there, as they are so focused on their goal for the day.  You just have no clue where and when someone might try to harm you.  Example:  Many years ago, while planning to show a property, I did all of the right things first; called the listing office to notify them that I want to show property, picked up key, called the Seller to notify them.  No answer at Seller's home, therefore, I assumed they were not home.  Arrived at the home with key in hand; asked my clients to wait in the car until I opened the door.  I rang the bell a couple of times, no answer, knocked, no answer.  I then placed the key into the lock at which point, I looked up and a man was standing there pointing a gun in my face!

While in the state of shock, the man put his dog away and the gun away and invited me in.  I motioned to my clients to come in.  We walked through the house (still in shock), left the property and I then told my clients that the man had a gun.  Contacted listing office after I came out of shock and really let them have it.  They told me that this man had just come out of a mental institution and his wife left him at home alone. 

Certainly in retrospect, I should have just left the property immediately, but truly I was in a state of shock.  No one was hurt, but it could have been pretty ugly.

I'm not sure how one prepares for something like this. 

Peggy A Lynch, Capitol Home Staging, LLC
12:12pm • #123

Tami, give your daughter a pat on the back.  Awesome.

Thank you for the reminder to stay on my game.

Cheers,

Colleen
Colleen K. Cotter
3:33pm • #124

My last open house experience last year freaked me out enough that I've never done another one. I was holding a home open that was semi seclueded. After a slow afternoon with only a few browsers, I got a phone call on my cell phone. A very unpleasant,detailed phone call from a male caller wanting to know what type of lingere I had on underneath my skirt!

I don't get rattled very easily, but I did indeed have a skirt on so I went into a wee panic. Immediately, I locked all the doors and widows. Several minutes later a lone male pulled up and knocked, rang the bell, I just stayed in the other room feeling like a fool, waiting for him to leave. Poor guy was probably a legitimate prospect, but a I couldn't risk it. I packed up and left an hour early, berating  myself for being such a ninny....but still thinking I made the best decision.

Later that day I recounted my experience to my brother in law, who is an over night truck driver. He took the number from my nasty caller and decided to have a bit of fun by calling him all night long to see what he had wore to bed!
10:49pm • #125
JUN
25
2010
118,017 Points Outside Blog Hit Router

This was a great reminder. Thank you for the tips, and so glad you are ok.
10:07am • #126
JUL
03
2010
784,163 Points 85 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Absolutley. Unfortunately, there is way too much stuff going on at open houses.
12:17pm • #127
2 Featured Posts

Tami, you will never know how your experience, and writing about it, may save others from potential tragedy.  Both men and women are victims of assault and robbery so hopefully what you have related will be a wake up call for everyone.

I have re-blogged this excellent post here on Active Rain and intend to send it to everyone I know who works alone.  Reminders like this help to keep us aware and on guard.  THANK YOU for taking the time to share this.
12:46pm • #128
JUL
23
2010
103,380 Points

Thank you...
2:12pm • #129
SEP
03
2010
109,312 Points

I'm so glad you were with your son.  We had something similar happen here this week.  Please take a look at my blogs....
3:32pm • #130
SEP
23
2010
147,546 Points 6 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Tami, thanks for the heads up and passing this information on so unselfishly.  My hear pours out to the family and loved ones of the Realtors that lost their life.  We need to stay as proactive as possible at all times.  Thank God, you are OK, and congratulations to your daughter for such a great accomplishment.
10:04am • #131
APR
26
2011
555,452 Points 31 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Hi Tami,

You are going to get another round of comments on this one.

Thanks for the post. I came here from your comment and passed it on to my team

PHil
5:43am • #132
126,190 Points 1 Featured Post

I think having a good safety system is a great idea. I will discuss this at our next staff meeting. Thanks for posting it for us. 
10:39am • #133

Being a safety trainer, I love hearing how seriously everyone takes their safety! Men and women alike! I was interviewed by the Des Moines Register after the agent was recently murdered and interviewed by abcnews.com about agent safety. I will post the links for you all to share and read.

I have to comment on a couple of new comments since I last responded. I have already addressed the misnomer of keeping pepper spray hidden in your pockets. It should be visible as a deterrent. Someone mentioned wasp spray as an alternative to pepper spray. That is a no-no. First, it is a federal crime to use wasp spray for anything but its intended purpose. Secondly, although you should use any and everything that you can to protect yourself, you need to make sure it will work. We do not know if wasp spray will stop a human, make them mad enough to escalate the attack or kill them. It is better to not count on the unknown to protect yourself. You can buy a large canister of pepper spray. It sprays as far as the wasp spray and we know how it affects the would-be criminal although nothing is 100%. If wasp spray was so good, police officers would carry it, right? They carry pepper spray!

Finally, the comment about the sheriff discouraging people from utilizing safety tools such as pepper spray. How unfair! He was quoted as saying you need to be prepared to use the tools you are likely to have when unprepared. Your elbows, your body, etc.. First of all, you should always be prepared. Period. Secondly, I am amazed that the occassional law enforcement officer who preaches against 'regular' people carrying a self defense product, has self-defense training, a gun, pepper spray, billy club AND a flashlight to defend themselves. Why can't they use only their bodies to defend themselves as they advise us? Because we all need every advantage we can get, too!

I do stress that you need to learn your weapon and practice with it.

 Links to my safety tip interviews. Please share!

http://abcnews.go.com/Business/dangers-real-estate-criminals-witnesses-safety-expert-keeping/story?id=13375723
 
http://www.desmoinesregister.com/article/20110411/NEWS/104110317/Real-estate-job-carries-risks-expert-says-after-agent-killed-West-Des-Moines   http://www.realtor.org/RMODaily.nsf/pages/News2011041303?OpenDocument
1:20pm • #134
MAR
29
2012
2 Featured Posts

Thank God you didn't see that guy alone. Thank you for sharing your experience, sometimes being a women in the field of Real Estate we really need to take extra careful when meeting clients, if i feel bothered i usually seek for a partner to meet up with clients. I also bring some of the self defense thing like pepper spray. Good thing you have your son with you.
8:45pm • #135
MAR
31
2012
216,064 Points 2 Featured Posts

Hi Tami Vroma !

I am happy that I got an opportunity to read this article and I am happy that you're safe.I think we really need to be extra careful because we are a women and were in the field of real estate.When I go out I normally bring someone with me or I ask someone to check me up once in awhile.Thank you for this article I will share this to other people and keep up the good job in being a grand rapid short sale agent. 

 
11:55am • #136
MAY
08
2012

Being kidnapped and raped, but alive I set and listen to the do's and don't of people who have not, and I just shake my head about some of the advice given.  Most of what is recommended by the public, our boards and our brokers will get you killed.  The only reason that I am alive tody is due to " not doing what most people recommend".

Please don't make recommdation if you have not been in those shoes.  

 
Edie Pittman
11:15am • #137
MAY
14
2012
1 Featured Post Outside Blog

Hi Tami,Glad I still had a chance to read this.I read all their comments and I must say that I am learning alot.We should all be very careful especially if we are all alone.I'm normally with someone when I meet someone.Glad you're ok.Thanks for this post.Stay the best Grand Rapids Short Sale Agent.
8:07am • #138

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Tami Vroma-Realtor Grand Rapids MI Real Estate

Grand Haven, MI

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West Michigan Real Estate Specialist-Five Star Real Estate

Address: 4601 Lake Michigan Drive NW, Grand Rapids, MI, 49401

Office Phone: (616) 209-8626

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