"You look like you need an ice cream cone, little girl," I told my sister as the corners of her lips drooped toward the floor after eating out last night.

"I shouldn't feel guilty about spending money," she told me, obviously unhappy. "I'm okay." Like many people, myself included, the Recession we live in today has impacted my sister's way of thinking about money. She's just switched jobs, just finished her college education, and lives in a gorgeous apartment in the heart of Ballard right across from the park. And yet, still, she worries about every penny she spends because she doesn't know when she might need that penny to survive the economy.

Like many of us, my sister works hard to support herself. I'm very grateful that she inherited the 'motivated' gene in our family and fights now for everything she has. That gene has served me well in the past, and like me, my sister has learned the value of the respect and experience that busting your butt to get the job done gives you. She's started displaying Claire-like symptoms of putting your heart and soul into the job at hand without asking for anything more than a simple 'thank you' or 'job well done'. Sometimes unfortunately, the seriousness of the situation gets to us both.

My sister is very serious; she didn't used to be.  She used to be this vibrant social butterfly who simply enjoyed everything she came across, but now, after finding herself so unhappy after earning her BA, after discovering some of the trials and tribulations that we muddle through as adults, she's lost that little spark she once had.  To bring it back, she's decided that she's going to be happy.

I've made that same decision countless times. Growing up, I had a rough childhood; we never had enough - enough food, enough clothing, enough heat in the winter.  My mom sacrificed everything she could to make sure that we never went to bed hungry and that our shoes didn't have holes in them.  Our family situation was undesirable, especially on top of our money issues.  My father had dependency issues and my stepfather was abusive.  At the age of 16, I was a very, very angry child.  I faced my problems with determination and temper, where my sister faced them by keeping her head down and looking for social support of others outside of the family.

One morning somewhere around my 17th birthday, I woke up, and I decided to be happy.  I decided not to let my situation impact my mood. 

Years later, I worked in Maryland for a woman who had morality issues; I can't speak in particular length about her as she's involved in litigation, but I feel that she mismanaged her business, that she misappropriated funds from that business, and she treated her employees like dirt.  I worked there because I needed to pay my bills, and I felt that I was doing a service to the clients.  Irregardless, toward the end, I started feeling like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, like I had to slog through the day just so I could go home, tuck myself under the blankets, and sleep away the miserable feeling I had in my gut.

One afternoon, I called and cried while on the phone with my mother.  It was then that I decided to be happy: I was moving home.  My mother was having spinal surgery, and so the circumstances lined up well for me.  I could be home while she was recovering, and I could be happy once again.  I found a job across the country, packed my car and my kitties, and followed my happiness home.

I lost my job twice the following year to a pair of layoffs.  It was at the beginning of the Recession, and having moved across the country and exhausted my savings account, I was in a bad spot financially to lose my job...twice.  I worried about bills everyday; I made myself sick over them.  How would unemployment cover my medical costs, my housing costs?  I set my head on the edge of my kitchen counter and breathed out until I was calm some days, worried I'd give myself a panic attack.  While doing the job search that led me to ActiveRain, I had given myself a panic attack just before that particular interview, and so as I drove into Bellevue, I was still shaky.

Jon and Bob (the two who interviewed me here) don't know this, but I sat in my car for a full ten minutes pulling myself together, updating my mascara, and deciding that this was going to go well, that I was the happiest person on earth, and that this job was mine.  A year and some months later, I'm still here, I'm still kicking, and I consider having landed the position one of my best personal triumphs.

I give you these examples because these were all very serious situations, all based on hardship, all centered around the bad and miserable in life.  They're very personal examples - trust me, I try not to speak out of my rear for things of which I know nothing - but the point I am trying to make is that even when times are hard and everything going on around you seems too dire, you have to make the concious decision that you are going to pull through, that you are going to be happy, and that, like my sister, you'll be okay. 

Your mood affects so much of your daily life, your interactions with the world at large, and the quality of the work you do.  It affects the people around you, and in turn, when their moods go south, their moods impact your mood, and soon, you have this whirling vortex of depression that's being fed in a turnstile manner by those closest to you. 

So... why so serious?  Make the concious decision to be happy, and no matter what happens, to keep your chin up.  Even when things look bleak, understand that there is more to this life than money and a job, that the economy will bounce back eventually, and that you are in control of your life, your situation, and your own happiness.

(The movie embedded here is something that I found utterly charming - usually, weddings are so serious, but this particular one is fun and memorable. They'll have lasting memories of more than just the cake and garter because they made the decision to insert happiness.)