Getting Back on the Horse

There is a well-known bromide that if you fall off a horse, you get right back on.  The point, of course, is that you cannot let the negative experience of the fall control you.  You need to immediately climb back on the horse so that the anxiety caused by the fall does not fester, and so that you erase from your mind as quickly as possible the fear of another fall.  That all makes sense of course.

But what happens when there is no horse to climb back on to?

A good friend of mine has been suffering through the current economic malaise.  He has had several months of difficulties in his job and he has begun to doubt his actions and decisions.  With no horse to climb right back on, he has become very gun shy.

Several years ago another friend of mine (who owns a sizeable company) went through an extensive IRS audit with an overhang of criminal liability.  This examination lasted for about six months.  During that six-month period my friend was unable to function effectively and all of us can understand that.  Fortunately, the IRS did not elect to pursue criminal charges, and, in fact, it turned out that the whole matter was the result of conduct caused by an investor in my friend’s company.  But, after that horrible experience, my friend felt that for at least another year or two, he was unable to run his company as effectively as he hoped.  The negativism of this event caused him to be very tentative.

In one way or another we have all been there.  Maybe it’s not about business – perhaps a romantic interest leaves and all of a sudden we start to doubt everything about ourselves.  We meet someone new and find ourselves trying too hard – maybe scaring off romantic interest #2.

I think one of the hardest things to do in business – and in life – is to “climb back on the horse” when there is no horse around.  We have all suffered painful events or extended periods of negative feedback and we begin to doubt ourselves.  We hesitate in taking action.  We second guess all that we do.  Fearful, we often only make matters worse.

I wish I had some magic advice to dispense – but I don’t.  Here however is what I have learned from successful folks I know:

1. Put one foot in front of the other.  Keep doing what has worked for you in the past.
2. Remind yourself every day of one of the oldest truths:   this too will pass.
3. Find solace in routine – create patterns and rituals that bring you comfort.
4. Read stories of people who went through incredible struggles – one book I love, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl.

Sometimes there is no horse around when you need one.

Jim Randel is the author of The Skinny on Willpower as well as of the soon-to-be released The Skinny on Success:  Why Not You?