Home : Blogs : Jeff Turner : Turner's Perspective

Sex And Real Estate - The Conclusion

Buying a home is not about information.

Project Blogger Logo If you've ever bought a home, you know this is pure fact. Searching on the Internet for a house may be about information, at first, but the act of actually BUYING the home is not. It never has been. It never will be.

Sex And Real Estate, by Marjorie Garber, beautifully illustrates why.

If you read my first three posts on this book, Sex and Real Estate :: Part 1, Sex And Real Estate: The House As Beloved, and Sex And Real Estate: The House As Mother, you already understand the major cultural reasons why buying a house is such an emotion filled decision.

The fact that we "fall in love" with houses can't be ignored at any level. And while the first two chapters of Sex And Real Estate clearly speak directly to the real estate industry, the final chapters are dedicated to illustrating the depth of our cultural and literary fascination with homes. They focus on the concepts and archetypes of home in literature and culture throughout history. And while these final chapters do contain nuggets that a real estate agent or home stager could benefit from greatly, they are harder to find. The final chapters are the material of college literature courses, not business reading. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, I'm just not sure everyone will as much as I am sure everyone will love the intro and first two chapters.

sex and real estate The House As Body, chapter three, came close to matching the chapters one and two but left me searching for analogies that I shouldn't have had to search for. Chapters, four through through seven, The Dream House, The Trophy House, The House As History and The Summer House, were all literary and historical treasure troves, but they served simply to amplify what The House As Beloved and The House As Mother so clearly and easily illustrated.

This reinforces something I said earlier - after reading just the introduction. I said that the introduction to the book is worth the entire price. After reading all of it, it's even more true. So, you want to get the most from this book in the shortest amount of time? Buy the book and read just the intro and first two chapters. You'll still think it was a deal.

Buying a home is NOT about information.
It's about emotion.

So those selling the home need to understand this at the action level. But sadly most don''t. The vast majority real estate marketing that I see completely ignores this. And it's simply wrong. Loreena Yeo hit the nail on the head with her post, Sell A Lifestyle.

I will scream the next time I see someone put "front of house" as the description on the photo of the front of a house. I'm not talking about a figurative, silent scream. I mean a real physical outburst. It floors me every time. "Living Room" under or over a photo of the living room. WOW!

But it goes further than that. The vast majority of the listing posts I read on AR and nothing more than a regurgitation of MLS data that someone could find on Realtor.com, or Trulia, or Zillow. It does NOTHING to distinguish the unique and compelling aspects of the house that will make someone want to come see it more than they want to see a house with the exact same specs listed by someone else. And it certainly does nothing to distinguish the agent from other agents.

This kind of purely information laden language is powerless. It whispers, "me too," when, with just a bit more effort, it could be screaming, "ME ONLY! I'M THE ONE. I'M THE HOME YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR."

And by default, "I'M THE REAL ESTATE AGENT YOU NEED. I'M THE REAL ESTATE AGENT YOU WANT."

For me, this Garber quote from the epilogue ties it all neatly together:

"Perhaps increasingly, for busy people, space has come to substitute for time, and the house becomes the unlived life. In an era when the "welcome mat" and the "answering machine" all-too-often stand in for personal greeting and human voice, the house - with its "living" room, "dining" room, "family" room and "media" room - is the place where we all too often stage the life we wish we had time to live."

If you don't believe this, then just keep on pumping out data. Keep on putting "front of house" on photos of the front of the houses you sell. Keep on writing as if a home could be defined by stats and numbers.

But if you recognize that buying a home is really about emotion, about an ideal, about a hope, about a dream... then take action NOW to make sure you do everything you can to ensure your writing paints the picture of a home, not just a house.

blockquote {margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 30px; padding: 10px 0pt 0pt 20px; width:500px; background: transparent url(http://www.realestateshows.com/jeff/quotes.gif) no-repeat scroll left top; font-size: 120%; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial; color: #356D9E; line-height: 1.2em;} h2 { color:#356D9E!important; font-family:Trebuchet MS,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:20px!important; font-size-adjust:none; font-stretch:normal; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; letter-spacing:0pt; line-height:24px;a margin:9pt 0pt 0px; padding:6px 0pt 0px; } h3 { color:#356D9E!important; font-family:Trebuchet MS,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size:20px!important; font-size-adjust:none; font-stretch:normal; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; letter-spacing:0pt; line-height:24px; margin:9pt 0pt 0px; padding:6px 0pt 0px; } a { color:#356D9E; text-decoration:underline; } p{ margin-top:2px!important;} a:hover { color:#ffffff; text-decoration:none; background:#356D9E; border 1px solid #DDA603 }

Posted by Jeff Turner on 06/09/2007 09:39 AM

Comments (41)

project blogger, sex and real estate, emotion, home, jeff turner

Originally posted at: Turner's Perspective: Sex And Real Estate - The Conclusion

41 Comments on Sex And Real Estate - The Conclusion

JUN

2007

Jeff - loved this series - I think thats why sellers and buyers alike LOVE your Real Estate Shows - it gets them at an emotional level - Thesa and I had this conversation earlier this week when I shared my clients reactions 100% of the time after seeing an RES. Thanks for always sharing with us.

Jeff - this almost sounds like a how to master the emotional connection of home staging book. Think I may have to check it out. Or at least read the first two chapters while sipping coffee at Barnes and Noble.

Ahhhh the oft overlooked power of emotion.

Cyndee... thanks. I'm often surprised by the absence of thought that is given to the emotional, evocative aspects of home selling. Some do it very well, some do not. Even some real estate agents that I have a great deal of respect for pay almost no attention to concept of home. Otherwise excellent presentations are ruined by cognitive dissidence that is created when the consumer is wanting one thing and getting another. They want to connect, emotionally, with a home. They need to connect emotionally. When anything gets in the way, it creates a conflict between the two ideas. That tension is often unconscious and subtle, but it's there. Eliminating that should be a goal.

Maureen... I think this is a must read for stagers. Period.

Herb... yes, oft!

great article ... a recent seminar I went said that while lower end home buyers don't care about the description you cant write enough about high end homes.

Ben... I'd argue that even lower end buyers have an unconscious desire to love the home they buy. I'd be willing to bet good money the results for the lower end buyers is tainted by all the nonsense stats and data thrown at them in large measure.

Jeff,

I agree, especially on a personal level. People need to see themselves living there, having cookouts, etc. I am proud to say I know I make decisions based on emotions. We were just visiting a town called Masontown, PA this past week. Let me start by saying I love mountains. All of my ancestors lived in the mountains, they were all coal miners. I could see my family living there easily. The emotional high it gives me to think of living on an old farmhouse on top of a mountain can not be described. I was actually depressed coming home.

Thanks,

Amanda

Wow Jeff, so true. Considering how much emotion is involved in buying a house, a few words can definitely play a huge part in easing the decision making part of a buyer no matter what end of the income spectrum they fall under.

"People need to see themselves living there, having cookouts, etc" One of my first post here in AR was "Why won't the MLS Let Me".

The example in the post was not the one I have most wanted to use. The one I have always wanted to use is to show a party at the house. I am so sick of seeing the words "Great Home for Entertaining". I'd much rather have a picture of a time when the owners of the house WERE entertaining friends and family at the house.

Many, many years ago, the best selling feature of the house was the pool area. The owner was a gorgeous hunk of a man (and his wife). I so wanted to have him sitting at the pool with girls in bikinis everywhere in the yard photo. His wife was all for it. With the MLS photos being such a prime means of advertising to the public these days, I think allowing people in the photos is an idea whose time has come. Back in 1992 when I wanted to include that pool shot, maybe not. But certainly rules need to expand for us to be more innovative.

Let's show the people living in it more, and not just photos that look like a department store showroom advertising furniture.

Oops...I think I went off on my own tangent there. What was this post about? LOL Oh well, it's my birthday. I'm known to do whatever I darned please on my birthday :)....and most other days as well.

Jeff, I agree on that, I mean your blog, but sometimes some buyers take care a lot of the price range, their monthly payments and some other factors, not just the emotion about a home that they like, suppose that I like a 5,000,000 home because it makes me feel a lot of emotion about that one, it is so beautiful and I want it, I can not afford that home, even when I feel in love with that.

Hi Jeff, This was a very interesting book...I'll agree with your review that the first portions of the book are a more interesting and insightful read than the latter, but the author makes some good points about the power that emotions attach to a purchase. Somehow, we missed this.

I remember being told by one of my brokers early in my career that he didn't think houses that were marketed "with fluff" (his words) were worth his time to show. He usually skipped over them for houses with info. However, I don't think our buyers buy this way!

Another great book is A Whole New Mind by Daniel H. Pink. His discussion about the 3 A's that are transforming our economy...Abundance, Asian & Atomation as well as his chapters on the Power of the Story/Myth in Marketing are very, very good!

Jeff, thanks for really wanting to help your clients succeed. THis is great advice. I am going to have to do an office training. I don't want you to see one of my shows that says "toilet".

Amanda... you're right. The do NEED to see themselves living there. And Ardell's followup to that makes much sense to me. Really want to illustrate that fact that it's great for parties? Show a party. I'm assuming there are rules about that.

Mana... just a little bit of thought goes a long way. And sometimes, saying less is saying more.

Ray... buyers use those filters to limit what they eventually fall in love with. I wish I could fall in love with Sarah Jessica Parker, but she's too expensive for me. :)

Ardell... thanks for the mini-post. It added a lot.

Lola... I am going to have to check out both of your book recommendations.

John... let me know if I can assist in any way.

OK Jeff, Just say it. I'm a man and I can take.."Broker Bryant, your Real Estate shows suck!" Now see..that wasn't too hard was it? So I'm going back in and doing some editing this week, I promise. Do you have any emotions I can borrow?

Broker Bryant... :)

Jeff,

Well...I'm in the same boat as Bryant. I will try to go back and edit, but I know for sure I will be more thoughtful in the future.

Fran

Jeff, great post, I hadn't thought about it in this way, but I will now! Thanks!

JUN

2007

Great Review. I can't wait to read this book!

Jeff

I'll make sure John Evarts reads this post.

I promise
MR

Jeff totally agree with you.....it's always about emotion and feeling like that house "is it"

JUN

2007

Ana... it was great to meet you on Saturday and, yes, it's always about emotion, connection... relationships. We want it in almost everything. We crave it. To ignore it is just simply wrong.

Well you have opened my eyes. Thank you. I am one that needs to be MUCH more creative on the tours and listing in places other than the MLS.

Thank you!!!

Angie... as with anything... balance is the key. I see some who go too far as well.

Jeff: Yes, yes, yes. I went to the RES website to view the same pictures with just different descriptions..... As the titles capture what buyers can start imagining they can do, we catch them on their emotional side. Everyone can see that there is hardwood floors - no need to describe that. Or tactfully, they can describe something about the lifestyle "on" the hardwood floors, etc. Good post. Thanks for linking me too.

I'm with all of you in the "emotional" camp! While I am sure there are buyers who are all business, numbers and facts, I don't relate that well with them. I am here to help Buyers realize their dreams, and match them up with a home in a neighborhood that suits their lifestyle. For Sellers, I am there to present their home to the Buyers who will place higher ($) value on their home because of how I can "paint" a picture of the home to meet their emotional needs. Hmm, I am thinking I should write a post about this! Thanks Jeff and for the link to Loreena!

JUN

2007

Loreena... thank you! Your post was excellent, by the way.

Deborah... I'm 100% with you on this on.

Brian Brady wrote a great piece that fits here: Realtors Should Stop Selling Houses

JUN

2007

absolutely great post Jeff. I am guilty also of rushing and not stopping to fully describe the emotion and the feeling the HOME shouldda couldda woudda evoked. Thanks for reminding us and telling us HOW!

JUN

2007

Janie, my pleasure. It's easy to slip into full information mode all the time and forget that while information my limit our decision, the final one is almost always going to be driven by emotion.

Jeff, hahahaha you are too funny :) good one :) keep the good blog ! :)

JUN

2007

Thank you.

JUN

2007

I thought the book was quite shallow and full of quotes. If you pulled out the quotes the book would be ten pages long. It was still a good read as to the insight of "why".

Scott... I certainly wouldn't call it shallow. She is a professor, so it's written like a professor would write... with plenty of back up for the hypothesis. I appreciated it, personally. An opinion on this subject is nice, but the depth of the research was so overwhelming that it drove the point further home for me.

AUG

2007

Not having read the book, but I have enjoyed the lively discussion. Yes emotion drives the process as long as certain utilitarian needs have been met. People usually buy with emotion and justify with logic! A never ending battle.............

I have always been an avid believer in selling the emotional and intangible qualities of a property that make it a home and coming up with new ways to market these qualities. For every listing, I have the seller make a list of why they loved living in the home and what they would like the buyer to know that isn't visible/obvious.

In exceptional cases I have gone even one step further than Ardell's suggestion of a photo of a party and actually given extraordinary parties at listings. The first was a 12,000' Greene and Greene Craftsman home in Pasadena that had garnered international attention. So many architects etc. wanted to see it that I gave an invite only reception with a string quartet and catered food...we had over 500 attend and it was covered in all of the papers...despite the 1994 market it sold higher than most told me it would. The second time was when I got 5 contiguous historic homes on Millionaires Row in Pasadena. I had horseless carriages and antique luxury cars in the driveways complete with drivers wearing top-hats. The invitations were antique postcards inviting people to take a stroll down Millionaire's Row...it was great...over the two days I had about 2000-3000 people come through plus TV, Radio and LA Times (Even Ruth!). I sold all 5 in 4 months. Sorry for going on so long!

SEP

2007

JT,

Thank you for the much needed reminder in soooo many ways. BTW, I found your post after reading Diane's week in review tonight.

So well said, I'm bookmarking and it's a 5 for me and passing on to other agents in my office, done.

Happy Labor Day to your and your brood!

I just found this post. Good points! Thanks.

Jeff, I found this via Diane's post this week. Now I have homework to revamp my RES...:)

SEP

2007

Good send from Diane! Great post and links - I particularly liked the link to Loreena's post.

It IS all emotion.

Agents who show property saying "This is the living room" are as annoying as those who title their photos that way.

Diane... thanks for bringing this one back from the past. It's important, in light of how much the technology focus has shifted to "information" as the be all and end all of marketing a home. It's just wrong.

Lynda... thank you!

Rhonda... you're welcome.

Lisa... :)

Sharon... no question about it! You want to get more people to come see a home? Make sure your presentation has them visualizing themselves doing something in the home. This requires more verbs, less adjectives.

Leave a response…

Name:

Email:
(optional)

Comment:

What does the graphic say?

Sex And Real Estate - The Conclusion

Buying a home is not about information.

Buying a home is NOT about information.It's about emotion.

Leave a response…

Buying a home is NOT about information.
It's about emotion.