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I will always love Strawberry Milkshakes and the power behind a simple gesture.

By
Real Estate Agent with Northwood Realty Services

I received a call from an administrator of a nursing home just minutes from my office.  I was asked to list a patient's home.  The home and any assets needed to  be sold to meet the nursing home care cost of the patient.

I met with the administrator and was told that the meeting was a formality. The nursing home already  had the right to sell the home to cover the patients expenses. I just needed to get the seller  to sign the papers.

We walked into the room where I first met Betty ( not her real name ) She was sitting in a chair, head bent and would not acknowledge our presence. I noticed she had a chain around her neck. She was holding tightly on  to the chain.  I thought maybe it was a cross or a locket of a loved one. She clinched the  chain tightly as if someone would try to take it from her

I tried gently talking with her, and only drew glares of contempt.  I will never forget that look of fear and distrust.

I touched her arm and ask if she would mind if I stopped in to see her again.  My husband was just down the hall.

She glared again and we left.                                                                   strawberry milkshake

I talked with the administrator and begged for more time.  I needed Betty to feel some sort of acceptance, trust and comfort with me and about what I was about,  to ask her to do.  ...sell her only possession...her home.

It took days..I was in the nursing home most of the time checking on my husband, so I managed a few silent ( on her part ) conversations with Betty.

Nursing homes are  chatty, everyone has the scoop on everyone. I was told...no-one likes her, she is mean, obnoxious and downright nasty.  The staff doesn't like her, and the patients don't like her.  She is alone... has no family, has no friends and .never married.

I asked the head nurse if Betty was on a restricted diet. Is there  some  thing  she might enjoy from outside the nursing home cafeteria?   The answer  was loud and clear ....... nothing will make her happy, don't even bother.

A young,  tiny,  beautiful,  nurses Aide over heard the conversation and spoke up    ".yes there is........ she said one day she wished she could have a strawberry milkshake'

Well need I say ...that was the ice breaker?...After our mutual love for strawberry milkshakes, and many of them,  she slowly left down her guard.  We were able to talk,  she always asked about my husband.  I would see her walk down the hall past his room, peek in and walk on by.

WE did formalize the paper work to sell her home but  only after conversations about the difficulties of owning a home when we become elderly and not able to do what needs to be done,  to up keep a home.  It was a stretch of my imagination,  to find the positive about accepting the fact that the nursing home provided her with the safety and care that she needed at this time of her life.

I would make a habit of stopping by her room everyday just before my stay at my husband's side, just to say hi..and usually with her  much anticipated, strawberry milk shake. A simple gesture for the reward of a smile and a glimmer of joy.

The one day..they stopped me at the desk and said Betty was  very upset and crying for most of the night.  I stopped by..she was in bed and so wiped out..she grabbed my hand and put a key into it. It was the key that was attached to the chain around her neck.( not a locket or a cross but a key )    The key was to her bedside table. " Everything I have is in that drawer,  will you open it for me "  I opened the drawer,  only to find another key.....a key to a car.

She looked at me and said.  " It is the only thing I have left...please don't let them take it away from me,  it's my only way out of here " I stopped, speechless ....ask for guidance to say the right words.  How could I make that promise to  her ..I looked at her about ready to cry and she grabbed my hand again and said' through sobs  " June..I'm afraid..I know I am going to die and I have been a bad girl, I don't think God is very happy with me

" I gathered my composure and spoke my heart ...how much God loves her, how He is here right now.... at this very moment...how He will never leave her ..none of us are perfect....only HE is perfect...talk to Him...the way you talk to me...Empty your heart...He wants to hear you speak to Him..

I don't know where the words came from , they just flowed and eventually, she calmed down...and quietly drifted  off to sleep.

What a day..it was a blessing that my husband was having a peaceful day.

I kept checking on Betty, her attitude changed. She seemed more at peace. I think it was resignation.

When My husband passed away, before I left the nursing home, I took the floral wreath I had made for the door to his room and wanted to give it to Betty.  She was in bed, sobbing uncontrollably and said " I am so sorry about Jack..I suppose this means I won't see you anymore"

I looked at her tearful lonely face and thought " Thank you strawberry milkshake " for breaking down the wall that surrounded this lonely women.  No one should ever leave this earth feeling unloved and alone. 

Strawberry milkshakes will always hold a special memory.  I was blessed to share God's Love with someone who needed loved and I truly felt a love for her.  Betty is gone now..but she knew she was loved.........not just by her strawberry milkshake friend  but more importantly by her God.

I know this was long but this lonely women made such an imprint on my heart that I wanted to share her with you.

 

Comments (81)

Dave Keys
MOVE UP in Google Search Learn How Here - Brea, CA
Chief Search Strategist Real Estate SEO Expert

I was sick and you visited me.

What a nice experience for you (and her) both here and hereafter.

Aug 14, 2009 05:53 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Vickie Thanks for the comment  Life experience certainly can touch our lives in a profound way.  My husband  was confined temporarily to a different nursing home earlier after surgery for Hydrocephalus ( water on the brain due to his illness ) nursing home stories and experiences have changed my life.  To see human beings at the mercy of the uncaring is not what our elderly deserve

 

Aug 14, 2009 09:21 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi  Maureen Sometimes I feel my compassion is a fault.  I have a hard time  handling the suffering and abuses of the world. That is why nursing homes are not my favorite places.  Thank you for you kind words ..that is a nice thought Betty is now my angel as well as my parents and my husband...a nice thought  Now that I think about it I will edit this to say I have a few of my special clients who have had stories to tell who have passed on..they are also my special angels.They have taught me much

 

 

Thanks Lisa for the visit.   Who is to know what our reactions will be in a similar situation " there but the grace of God go I "

If it wouldn't have been for the little Aide I would never have found the simple milk shake to open the door to this womens

heart. 

I would pray everyday as  I left the building that my husband would be taken care of, I would mentally place him in the arms of God  .  I would give thanks that I was able to do what the residents ( patients ) could not do...walk out the the building, get in my car and go home.  Talk about a lesson in gratitude

 

 

Aug 14, 2009 09:38 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Dave  I know and have read this scripture many times only this time in tears.Thank you for bringing it to my attention

I am so humbled by all this response and what I can't figure out is that it was just a simple thing to do as agent to client and as

a normal response to someone who has no one . It was just a little kindness ...the people confined to nursing homes,  unless they have friends and family ....can not run to the outside world to get anything...what is in that hospital is all there is.

They are at the mercy of others...thank God...there are many who care.  I have a friend who weekly would hold bingos for the patients ( funded by her ) with bingo prizes, and food.  The patients who were able, would sit in lines in their  wheel chairs to wait for the afternoon activitity they enjoyed so much,  She is the angel, she is committed to serve.  One Palm Sunday she wanted to pass out small pieces of Palms to the patients who were not able to receive the Palms given in church   The social director said no...she mighjt offend someone not Christian...a simple Palm......yet when the residents ( patients ) complained andask that the paper skeletons and ghost be removed that hung all over the nursing home during halloween be removed..theywouldn't do it...thats a whole different story..............

Aug 14, 2009 10:02 PM
Chrissie Sutherland
Ready Set Stage - Greensboro, NC

June~ I'm sorry about your husband and your special friend.  You are such a wonderful person.  There needs to be more people in the world like you. 

Aug 14, 2009 10:22 PM
William James Walton Sr.
WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group - Waterbury, CT
Greater Waterbury Real Estate

Wow, June. I don't understand why you thought this wasn't important...your story goes to the heart of what we do as realtors...we help people...and sometimes that help is not just about their home, but so many other things...giving comfort, letting people know that someone cares, that God loves them, that people love them, whatever it is that they need. Sometimes, they just need someone to talk to, someone they can trust, someone to listen. You let God use to to reach out to someone in need, and although there are tears because they are no longer here, rest assured God has not forgotten your labor of love, and the reward for that is far greater than anything we can receive on this earth. Be blessed.

Aug 15, 2009 01:05 AM
Sandy McKee
Sunstreet Mortgage - Tucson, AZ

Wow, what a great story. Need to go get some tissue for the tears. Take care, Sandy

Aug 15, 2009 02:21 AM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Thanks William you are exactly right I didn't feel it unimportant just that it was an ordinary thing to do. Because it is done by us in the industry would not create any interest.  Obviously I was wrong. As you commented....

what we do as realtors...we help people...and sometimes that help is not just about their home, but so many other things...giving comfort, letting people know that someone cares, that God loves them, that people love them, whatever it is that they need. Sometimes, they just need someone to talk to, someone they can trust, someone to listen.

I decided to submit my Strawberry milkshake blog to draw awareness to the emotions and sacrifices of the elderly with in the walls of the institutions.  They are gaurded, they are confused and they are afraid...no one wants to listen.

This isn't about me and that I did anything that anyone else would have done.  We have all in real estate solved problems.

The problem to get the job of Betty signing those papers needed signed and the milkshake broke the ice.  She was a client

and later I found just needed some little acts of kindness .That is what we do as agents and as Christians  Thanks for your wonderful explanation of what we do as Realtors.

Aug 15, 2009 02:22 AM
Michelle Gibson
Hansen Real Estate Group Inc. - Wellington, FL
REALTOR

June - This was such a touching story, we need more people like you on this earth.  Thank you for sharing thses words.

Aug 15, 2009 02:47 AM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Crissee  I am not sure of the word wonderful , but I do know I try to be the best agent I can be  Thanks

 

Hi Michelle...there are people like me ...they are called Realtors who try to do the best possible job they are capable of doing...and beyond   Thanks for the comment

 

Hi Sandy Thanks for the visit.  It still brings me to tears just to think that she held on to the key of her car...in hope that someday she would be able to leave a place where she felt no one cared and she cared for no one and then when  she even thought  God was mad at her...well emotionally...it's a train wreck

Aug 15, 2009 03:30 AM
Kristin Moran
Owner - RE/MAX Access - KristinMoran@Remax.net - San Antonio, TX
San Antonio,TX - Real Estate - 210-313-7397

Such a sweet story June.  I know in your heart it was important to not just get her to sign.  You wanted to make an impression on her & make sure she trusted you.  THat shows your true heart.  I like it !  Great story.  THanks! 

P.S. - I have only ever known one June, she is getting married next June in CA!

Aug 15, 2009 12:56 PM
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

Hi June, I've been AWOL for the rain for awhile but checked in to find this wonderfully written post and I am so happy that this was featured. It's so well written and shows great compassion mixed with humility! Thanks for sharing in a way that we can al appreciate!

Aug 15, 2009 03:20 PM
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

Oh...and I meant to add that if we ever get the chance to meet, it would be my pleasure to buy you a strawberry milkshake!

Aug 15, 2009 03:22 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Russell...welcome....welcome...back

It is just great to have you back in the rain. I have been checking in to see if you had written anything recently and have missed reading your thoughts.  I have recently adopted this crazy habit of getting up at 4:30 in the AM and when I saw your name of I thought ..Oh my gosh Russell Lewis commented...he's back.  I am really glad about that...I really enjoy your writing.

Last week I attended the " Get Motivated  Business Seminar " with  Peter and Tamera Lowe in Pittsburgh.  I had to get up at

4:30 AM to beat the traffic to get to the  Mellon Arena .The seminar was great but didn't plan on being so motivated that I would get up at 4:30 every morning LOL 

That wasn't exactly the way I needed motivated .....a few more early hours to blog..and drag through the rest of the day.

This story was very personal to me and I almost didn't submit it, but now I am glad I did.  You would understand this completely.....some of societies elderly in the nursing homes and the neglected young children have become severely neglected....we all go through our normal routines enjoying our everyday freedom and just aren't aware

that  others just can't  enjoy what we take for granted.  They ask for so little and we are able to give so much...that being said ..if submitting this post even brings awareness and action to the needs of those less fortunate....I am glad I decided to share my story. The story was not about me personally but what all Realtors do.....what ever we can do to meet the needs of our clients and to successfully accomplish what needs to be done.  The story focus was the importance of realizing our elderly have given up ( not by choice ) all their possessions in the hope to find a safe and caring end of life home.  They are confused, lonely and often neglected. For Betty to hold on to a key , her only sign of hope to normalcy,  that was never to be.....just tore my heart out.

I don't handle suffering and abuse well....anyone's..

Anyway didn't mean to get so serious,( I knew you would understand )on a welcome back ...but welcome back my friend

 

Aug 15, 2009 09:00 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Russell   BTw  Thanks for the sweet gesture ..sounds nice  .....right now at 90 degrees a strawberry milkshake sounds great...but... at 4:oo in the morning...not so sure...LOL    thanks 

Aug 15, 2009 09:19 PM
June Lewis
Northwood Realty Services - New Castle, PA
Realtor Northwood Realty - New Castle,Pa Lawrence Co 7247304571

Hi Kristin  Thanks for the visit.  Yes that is exactly what I was trying to do..she didn't need anything else to come into her life to frighten her.  I knew the nursing home would get their money...but actually SHE was my client and I had to work in a manner that made her comfortable.  If I had been forced to make her sign immediately ...I would have walked from the listing..

I need to feel good about what I do in my profession.  I am glad the nursing home gave me a free hand to accomplish what I felt I had to do.......They were very supportive........Kudos to them.

Aug 15, 2009 09:25 PM
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

A really beautiful story. Yep, it was long but it was well worth the read. I am sure you brought a lot of joy to that lady. Thanks for the uplifting words.

Aug 17, 2009 03:22 AM
Nancy Schlegel
Northwood Realty Services - Hermitage, PA

What a message! I am so glad I read this story. We all have a purpose every single day and you truly live that purpose. I don't think I will ever see or think of a strawberry milkshake without thinking of your kind and gentle being. I think if we all thought about it, we have strawberry milkshakes in our lives also. I am so very grateful that I did not have to experience with my family the trials of a nursing home, but we don't know what the future holds. Thank you, June, so very much for your writings. I need to take the time to read the posts on AR more. You just made that a "must do"!

Aug 18, 2009 01:50 AM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

I am so suprized that none of the Moderators featured this post in, "Christianity and Real Estate".... It is featured NOW....and quite an example of what a Christian real estate professional is like.....

May the Lord CONTINUE to bless you, sister!!!

\O/

Aug 18, 2009 06:21 AM
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Mother Teresa wrote about the hunger for connection is greater than the hunger for food June. A well written piece, and that milkshake opened the door to lessen the loneliness.

Dec 01, 2015 11:54 PM