I received a call from an administrator of a nursing home just minutes from my office. I was asked to list a patient's home. The home and any assets needed to be sold to meet the nursing home care cost of the patient.
I met with the administrator and was told that the meeting was a formality. The nursing home already had the right to sell the home to cover the patients expenses. I just needed to get the seller to sign the papers.
We walked into the room where I first met Betty ( not her real name ) She was sitting in a chair, head bent and would not acknowledge our presence. I noticed she had a chain around her neck. She was holding tightly on to the chain. I thought maybe it was a cross or a locket of a loved one. She clinched the chain tightly as if someone would try to take it from her
I tried gently talking with her, and only drew glares of contempt. I will never forget that look of fear and distrust.
I touched her arm and ask if she would mind if I stopped in to see her again. My husband was just down the hall.
She glared again and we left.
I talked with the administrator and begged for more time. I needed Betty to feel some sort of acceptance, trust and comfort with me and about what I was about, to ask her to do. ...sell her only possession...her home.
It took days..I was in the nursing home most of the time checking on my husband, so I managed a few silent ( on her part ) conversations with Betty.
Nursing homes are chatty, everyone has the scoop on everyone. I was told...no-one likes her, she is mean, obnoxious and downright nasty. The staff doesn't like her, and the patients don't like her. She is alone... has no family, has no friends and .never married.
I asked the head nurse if Betty was on a restricted diet. Is there some thing she might enjoy from outside the nursing home cafeteria? The answer was loud and clear ....... nothing will make her happy, don't even bother.
A young, tiny, beautiful, nurses Aide over heard the conversation and spoke up ".yes there is........ she said one day she wished she could have a strawberry milkshake'
Well need I say ...that was the ice breaker?...After our mutual love for strawberry milkshakes, and many of them, she slowly left down her guard. We were able to talk, she always asked about my husband. I would see her walk down the hall past his room, peek in and walk on by.
WE did formalize the paper work to sell her home but only after conversations about the difficulties of owning a home when we become elderly and not able to do what needs to be done, to up keep a home. It was a stretch of my imagination, to find the positive about accepting the fact that the nursing home provided her with the safety and care that she needed at this time of her life.
I would make a habit of stopping by her room everyday just before my stay at my husband's side, just to say hi..and usually with her much anticipated, strawberry milk shake. A simple gesture for the reward of a smile and a glimmer of joy.
The one day..they stopped me at the desk and said Betty was very upset and crying for most of the night. I stopped by..she was in bed and so wiped out..she grabbed my hand and put a key into it. It was the key that was attached to the chain around her neck.( not a locket or a cross but a key ) The key was to her bedside table. " Everything I have is in that drawer, will you open it for me " I opened the drawer, only to find another key.....a key to a car.
She looked at me and said. " It is the only thing I have left...please don't let them take it away from me, it's my only way out of here " I stopped, speechless ....ask for guidance to say the right words. How could I make that promise to her ..I looked at her about ready to cry and she grabbed my hand again and said' through sobs " June..I'm afraid..I know I am going to die and I have been a bad girl, I don't think God is very happy with me
" I gathered my composure and spoke my heart ...how much God loves her, how He is here right now.... at this very moment...how He will never leave her ..none of us are perfect....only HE is perfect...talk to Him...the way you talk to me...Empty your heart...He wants to hear you speak to Him..
I don't know where the words came from , they just flowed and eventually, she calmed down...and quietly drifted off to sleep.
What a day..it was a blessing that my husband was having a peaceful day.
I kept checking on Betty, her attitude changed. She seemed more at peace. I think it was resignation.
When My husband passed away, before I left the nursing home, I took the floral wreath I had made for the door to his room and wanted to give it to Betty. She was in bed, sobbing uncontrollably and said " I am so sorry about Jack..I suppose this means I won't see you anymore"
I looked at her tearful lonely face and thought " Thank you strawberry milkshake " for breaking down the wall that surrounded this lonely women. No one should ever leave this earth feeling unloved and alone.
Strawberry milkshakes will always hold a special memory. I was blessed to share God's Love with someone who needed loved and I truly felt a love for her. Betty is gone now..but she knew she was loved.........not just by her strawberry milkshake friend but more importantly by her God.
I know this was long but this lonely women made such an imprint on my heart that I wanted to share her with you.
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