In working with clients and also interacting with others in your life, wouldn't it just be peachy if you asked a question and got the whole truth and nothing but the truth? Unfortunately decoding what is going on inside another is never that easy. You have to be more of a detective and put the puzzle together with what you hear, and other subtle clues that you have to pay attention to pick up. Here are three tips to give you more advanced listening skills. I'll try to illustrate with examples.
1. Freudian Slips. This is where the repressed conscious mind for some strange reason is unconsciously released. In literature typically it is sexual in nature like the husband calling his wife by his secretary's name or a woman fantasizing about her male college professor who she has a crush on and instead of saying she learned a lot in his class tells him she learned a lot in his bed. Could be embarassing but telltale. You might speak a word incorrectly based on some fixation you have or slip in a physical action while being distracted.
2. Listening to what is not being said. This is in two categories, non-verbals and interpreting them and omissions. Arms crossed, closed person. A man never mentions his wife in the discussion so maybe they are having a difficult relationship.
3. Truth in jest. A woman jokes that her husband is such the buffoon. Maybe in her eyes he REALLY is. You get the drift. LOTS of truth in jest.
Advanced listening requires some practice, but with time you can be quite the detective in seeing the "real" that is inside people, even if they won't directly admit it to you.
Comments(60)