Funny Friday ~ Dogs and Cats

Real Estate Broker/Owner with Sands Realty 210-414-0966 Texas License #0331413

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity...
~My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
keep up my strength. ~The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. %^$##!
~There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this
means, and how to use it to my advantage.
~Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this
again tomorrow - but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
~The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

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Gary L. Waters, Broker Owner, Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC
Waters Realty of Brevard, LLC - Rockledge, FL
... a small office, delivering big service!

Funny...probably true from a cat's perspective.  Dogs do like to do anything and be happy doing it. Why can't people be like that?

Aug 21, 2009 12:39 AM #1
South Austin Real Estate Blog
Sky Realty South Austin - Austin, TX

Ohmygosh, I am laughing my head off, I had a cat who was the one this was written about... I swear, he was devious.  Dogs are delightful and so forgiving and loving when given the chance.  Thanks for the laughs Shirley!

Aug 21, 2009 12:42 AM #2
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Shirley - have seen before but I still get a kick out of it, thanks for posting. But, I still like both dogs and cats.

Aug 21, 2009 12:45 AM #3
Bob Haywood
McGraw Realtors - Owasso, OK

Shirley - I love it!  Thanks for the laugh this morning!

Aug 21, 2009 12:47 AM #4
April Solomon
Solomon & Associates Realtors, Inc. - Port Richey, FL

One more thing to add to the Dog Diary...I enjoyed chewing up something today..I have a dog and she seems to destroy a toy or a sock or whatever she can wrap her lips around.  This post was a good laugh and a great start to my morning this morning.

Aug 21, 2009 01:50 AM #5
Myrl Jeffcoat
GreatWest Realty - Sacramento, CA
Greater Sacramento Real Estate Agent

Shirley - That is so hilarious but true.  I think it is a little like the "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus thing."  Dogs like men are more simple beings. . .Women on the other hand, are a little more complicated:-)

Aug 21, 2009 03:20 AM #6
Anna Banana Kruchten CRB, CRS, Broker
Phoenix Property Shoppe - Phoenix, AZ
Arizona's Top Banana of Real Estate!

Hey Shirley I chuckled all the way thru the cat monologue - so funny!  I must share this with my husband as it's 'his' cat and it sounds just like the little critter.  Too darn funny!  Thanks for the Friday smiles!

Aug 21, 2009 04:14 AM #7
Mary Douglas
United Country Ponderosa Realty, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado - Red Feather Lakes, CO
REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

LOL Shirley!!  This is precisely why I am not a cat person!  Too funny!  Thanks for the laugh today.

Aug 21, 2009 04:16 AM #8
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

Gary, That would be great!

Gail, Dogs are generally "sweeter" than cats.

Mike, I like both but I like dogs better....

Bob, You are very welcome!

April, Thanks.  My dog is out of the chewing stage, thank goodness.

Myrl, Good analogy!

Anna, Thanks and you're welcome!

Mary, Glad I made you smile!


Aug 21, 2009 11:53 AM #9
Carl Winters
Canyon Lake, TX

Shirley: You know I'm a dog lover, if you don't already know Brutus is my best friend. Meet Brutus:

                                                                   Loves to swim, hunt and hang out.

Aug 21, 2009 12:20 PM #10
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

Hi Brutus, You look like a wonderful dog and I know you are Carl and Ceil's best friend!

Aug 21, 2009 12:57 PM #11
Yvette Gardner
Keller Williams Realty, Spartanburg, SC - Spartanburg, SC

Having had both cats and dogs this is really funny and very true.  Thank you for sharing.

Aug 21, 2009 03:08 PM #12
Shirley Parks
Sands Realty 210-414-0966 - San Antonio, TX
Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate

Hi Yvette & Dennis,  Thanks for stopping by and commenting.  Gotta love those dogs and cats.. they make our lives more fun.

Aug 21, 2009 03:19 PM #13
John Cannata
214-728-0449 - Frisco, TX
Texas Home Mortgage - Purchase or Refinance

Thanks for the Saturday laughter (I missed it yesterday). That pretty much sounds like a cat to me.

Aug 22, 2009 06:01 AM #14
Mary Strang
Viroqua, WI

Cute, I do think this may be an accurate picture of dogs and cats and how they think.

Aug 24, 2009 12:59 AM #15
Angelia Garcia
Pure Realtors - Dallas, TX

Marci likes to escape outside for a bit to see what she can kill.  But when her tummy starts talking its time to go inside.  She is 80% indoor cat.

Aug 24, 2009 01:36 PM #16
Cheryl Powell - The Powell Team
RE/MAX Executive - The Powell Team - Harrisburg, NC
Concord,Harrisburg & Charlotte NC Area Real Estate

My dog gets excited when I take her on a ride in the car...100 feet down the driveway to get the mail. Not exactly gas efficient, but it makes her day!

Aug 24, 2009 02:22 PM #17
Robert Vegas Bob Swetz
Realty ONE Group - Las Vegas, NV
Las Vegas Henderson Homes for Sale

Shirley - This is very funny and thanks for the laugh!


Aug 25, 2009 04:00 PM #18
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Broker, 210-414-0966, San Antonio TX Real Estate
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