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Sometimes You're Just Not Going to Get Invited to the Dance

Waiting to Dance I didn't attend my senior prom. Instead, I was the maid of honor at my sister's wedding.

Having attended an all girll's school, Friday dances were the event my friends and I looked forward to every month. I had the "Farrah do" down, probably wore too much make-up and would kiss my dad good-bye as I headed out the door full of hope that (sigh) a boy would ask me to dance.

But sometimes the night didn't turn out the way I planned and I'd spend more time huddled at the side of the gym with my friends then out on the dance floor.

It's never fun being the one not chosen.

Several weeks ago I interviewed for a listing in my market area. The sellers had a bad experience with another agent and were in the process of talking to several area agents. We got along well. I gave them my detailed analysis, a few suggestions and tips and felt pretty good when I left.

A few days later I received a call that they had chosen to go with another agent. (Say what?) The owner was so kind and said it was a very hard decision and she felt badly, but they had a personal relationship with the other agent and felt that they needed to give her the opportunity.

I thanked her for her honesty, hung up the phone and felt once again like the girl at the side of them gym watching her friends dance.

It's never fun being the one not chosen.

The feeling didn't last long (ok, it was about 15 min). I've learned over the course of my nearly two decades in real estate that there are any number of reasons why people choose the agents they do to represent them.

I'm a good Realtor, I work hard for my clients, but I know I'm not going to appeal to everyone. (crazy huh?)

My business is based upon the theory of Abuncance.

I believe there is enough business out there for everyone. So if I and when I'm not invited to "dance" at any given time, I know there's someone out there, around the corner, ready for my help....

And she was...

I couldn't meet with her on her schedule because I was going on vacation. She said she would wait. We met, she interviewed other agents and then called to ask me to represent her. Just two days later we received a great offer and accepted it.

And my senior prom, aka my sister's wedding? It was the night I met my husband for the first time.

We will celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary in September.

It's pretty cool when you are the one chosen.

Colleen Fischesser is the Broker/Owner of RE/MAX Select in Maple Valley, WA. She has been successfully selling and marketing properties all over South King & North Pierce counties since 1990 but specializes in the Maple Valley Washington area. She may be contacted directly at: 425-432-5400

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Colleen Fischesser is the Broker/Owner of RE/MAX Select Real Estate. She has been successfully helping clients buy and sell real estate in South King & North Pierce Counties since 1990 and specializes in the Maple Valley area. Voted by clients and industry professionals as one of Seattle Magazine's 5 Star, Best in Client Satisfaction for 4 years running, she and her team are committed to remaining on the cutting edge of real estate marketing and technology while providing value-added, personalized service.

Posted by "The Maple Valley Specialist!" Colleen Fischesser Broker/Owner 425-432-5400 on 08/24/2009 08:44 PM

Comments (18)

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Originally posted at: The Fish Pond: Sometimes You're Just Not Going to Get Invited to the Dance

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18 Comments on Sometimes You're Just Not Going to Get Invited to the Dance

AUG

Colleen, I remember being the wall flower. After I met my husband I realized I didn't like to dance anyway (lol). I have found as I get older that I must have thicker skin as when I don't get picked I just go next.

Colleen, Sometimes they miss out on a great dancer! I am still dancing even if they don't chose me because I hear the music! LOL :))

Marchel, I too have develped thicker skin. I don't take it so hard when I'm the one not chosen any more.

Valorie, LOL at the music. I tend to march to my own drummer these days and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Colleen: And sometimes that's o.k. We can't win them all nor would we necessarily want to. Life turns out fine for most of us because we are, as you say, striving for abundance. Thanks for the thoughtful post!

I didn't go to my prom but was a matron of honor for my best friend. Loved your blog. Love the picture too.

Colleen, I think this is a business where we really need to learn to embrace rejection. Yeah, I know that sounds a little sick. But you need a few "NO' to get to the "YES"!

Yes, can't worry about the things that do not happen -- only try and focus on the things that do -- all the best -- (cute photo.)

AUG

Oh Colleen: Ya know... if I were attending one of those same high school dances, and saw you standing by the wall... all by yourself... heck, I would have asked you to dance. So there !

But... this listing. Yes, they went with someone with whom they had a "personal relationship." Well... we know how THAT can go sometimes. I think there might be a good possibility you may be getting a call from these same sellers in a few months or so. Take care...

Colleen, it never feels good. Most of the time I think it is based on price. I will not price ahead or at market value, but at a price the home will sell at. Then sometimes people have friends. I try to eliminate this with my pre-listing questionnaire which asks, how many Realtors they are interviewing and if they have a friend, relative or someone who is in their church they will feel obligated to list with.

I have left a listing appointment on occasion thinking that there was a darn good chance I was going to get the listing and then did not. In this business anything is possible and like you said you need to just roll with the punches. There are always more opportunities right around the corner.

I love your statement about the theory of abundance. I really believe that and I also believe that there is a reason for everything. When I was new in real estate losses were much harder to deal with. After 11 years in this business it is much easier to move on to the next dancer and enjoy the music.

Ladwina Lancaster-Caldwell Idaho-Realtor (Windermere/Access Realty)

AUG

Colleen,

This has to be one of my favorite posts. I am so glad that I logged in today. You are amazing and an inspiration.

AUG

Colleen, great story. Sometimes things happen for a good reason. "When one door closes, another opens".

AUG

Poor thing, life can be vrual for younga ages.

Thanks Coleen, for a great lesson on perspective. When you don't get an invitation to the dance, throw your own party!

SEP

It was perfect timing for me to see this blog. I have been attending a BNI group meeting for 5 weeks trying to get the open Realtor position. I was in the top 2. I was told today that it went to the other agent. I know that when one door shuts another opens...trying to keep my chin up!

SEP

Colleen - I received the rejection call last week too; but he promised me if the dancer he chose does not work out I'll get the second dance. I guess I'm the backup dancer agent!

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