Hi All,
As you all know blogging is all about transparency and in view of that fact Kevin Tomlinson outed me I think I need to be totally honest with you all about who I am and what I'm up to...
I am not the girl I appear to be. For starters, the long, dark red hair... A total fraud. I actually have long silky blonde locks that cascade like a waterfall down my back and over my shoulders.
The fair skin and freckles? Photoshop. My natural skin tone is well, much more unique. Anyone seen Wicked? Let's just say that Elphaba and I could be twins.
The glasses are merely a prop. OK, so I can't read, write, drive or even walk without wearing them, but its not like they are necessary. The blue eyes? Well, you got me... they really are that color. Sorry.
You have no idea how much effort goes into creating the facade each day. When I wake up each morning I could give Kevin a run for his money in the looks department. Why just getting that extra fifteen pounds to settle about my hips "just so" takes work. And I don't even want to discuss what I go through to shrink myself down from 5'11" to 5'4".
As for my writing style. Another fabrication. I don't really write this way. My writing is never printed so neatly, spaced so well or so easy to read.
And let's talk for a moment about my personality and my personal values. Sure I come across as someone who is fun, funny, bright, cheerful and caring but that is just a front. Don't let that fool you. I carefully hide the real me behind that carefully crafted wall so that no one peeks behind the curtain and sees that what I really am is caring, cheerful, bright, funny and fun.
Oh and that personal values thing? Don't buy it for a minute. Alright, so I donate platelets to the City of Hope as regularly as I can so what (That'll show 'um. I'll go down there and give those cancer patients another tool to fight with. If I'm not checking out early then by golly, neither are they. Not if I can help it!).
Oh and that PriusI drive? Well don't go getting the idea that I care about the environment or anything like that. I only got it because of a coin toss - heads I get a Prius, tails I get Hummer. OK, so it landed tails up, but no stupid coin is going to tell ME what to do (see, I told you I was a rebel)! And the "Save A Soldier - Buy A Hybrid" decal on the back window? Well I wanted something "special" and they were all out of "Nuke Unborn Baby Gay Whales For Jesus" so...
My family life is totally bogus as well. I married My Mel because he was the first and only guy I ever fell in love with. And because I think he's the sweetest, smartest, cutest, kindest and funniest person I know and he loves me too, but that's the ONLY reason.
As for my two Sub-sonsScott and Brian. I made them up. They don't really exist, but don't tell anyone because the U.S. Army is pretty sure that Scott is a Sargeant who came back from serving in Iraq in November. "Scott" married a lovely girl named Valerie (who has a beautiful little daughter named Alyssa) and they are about to become the parent's of their first baby, also a little girl, due in September - they found out the sex today... Umm, I mean, I just made up the sex today... yeah, that's it.
As for "Brian", I decided that it would be better for my image if I had a nineteen year old, talented writer, artist and musician who lives with us, works for Starbucks, is attending college and going into Aeronautics, hopefully to become a commercial pilot someday. I also decided that I would act like I was proud of him - what the heck, in for a penny, in for a pound, right?
Last but not least, there is no Route66Living.com. Never was and never will be. There is also no Drew Meyers, no Zillow, No ARDELL, No Project Blogger and No Active Rain. There is however a Santa Claus.
OK... I must say, I do feel a whole lot better. Kevin was right, confession is good for the soul!
Take care all, help lots of people and have a wonderful day... No, wait, scratch that... Have a wonderful week!
Tisza
;)
;)
